Living in the white noise…and my must see horror movie list

I know I am posting a lot tonight but I feel kinda weird and strung out. Lee is at work, D isn’t answering my texts and I don’t want to talk to Kate or Stella. M&D have been out all evening at some dinner party and I have been alone (as usual) in my room playing music and trying to chill out. It’s not happening. Anxiety reins. I swear that ghost is there in my bathroom again. I have left the lights on around the mirror but my eyes keep flitting there and I hear small sounds. Lee says I should leave a camera on in there at night. I’m thinking I should but actually what’s the difference. I know she’s there, I have seen her figure many times.

I feel like watching a horror film but I can’t choose. Oh! Did I tell you I went to see Evil Dead~the new release~ the other night? It was COOL. I’m not usually into slashy stuff but it kinda satisfied some kind of dark side in me. You would think a vegetarian wouldn’t like to see people being cut up and all that, but if I’m honest. LOVE IT.

Have you guys seen The Last Exorcism? That was a decent flick! Part 2 is due out soon. These are the next two horror movies on my ‘to see’ list:

The story of Ed and Lorraine Warren!

When is this out???!!!

When I think of Lorraine Warren it makes me miss Ryan Buell:

Always been my dream boy!

yeh so now I’m gonna just watch Paranormal State.

G’Night all

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Disturbed at all?

I haven’t written for a while because of a few factors….the most obvious being that watching Lee on Skype and having it on all the time means I can’t manage to peel my eyes off the screen for long enough to write a blog post.

Also, I have been off college again for a few days. Had a sick bug or something. loads of people got it and I always get whatever illness is going round. Ironic seeing as my Dad is a frickin Doctor! I did think for a horrific hour or two that I might be pregnant but thinking about it logically (and not getting into that much detail on here), it is VERY doubtful. Careful is an understatement as far as Lee is concerned.

Lastly and honestly, not a lot was going on. Nothing really worth writing about at least.

Until now.

I came back from Kate’s yesterday afternoon around 4pm and went straight to Skype as Lee said he had just come back and would be there to chat before he started getting ready to go out. (Did I mention I hate Saturday nights?) So I sat down at my desk and looked at the screen. I saw a girl standing by Lee’s bed. It wasn’t Annabelle, it was some girl I didn’t know obviously. She was just standing there looking down at his unmade bed, hands in her jacket pockets. She obviously didn’t know he leaves Skype on!

So, I texted him, asking him where he was. He said downstairs in the shared lounge with Annabelle and that he would be there in 2 minutes. I sent him another saying that there was a girl in his room. He then called me straight away and I could hear he was lunging up the stairs. He asked me what she looked like and how long she had been there, what she was doing etc.

Then I saw him fly into the room and stop dead when he saw her. There was a few seconds of silence and then she turned to look at him. I heard him go ‘Steph, what are you doing in here?’ and suddenly she was throwing herself at him, her arms going round his neck and he stumbled back and thudded against the half closed door, slamming it shut. He was then trying to push her off him, but she keot coming back at him and grabbing out. I heard her go ‘Please lee’ a few times before he slipped under her and came really close up to the laptop for a split second and disappearing out of view.

I felt sick. Like I was intruding but I couldn’t look away. I maybe should have switched Skype off or just minimised it, but I was transfixed in a really ugly, dark way. I never thought about the consequences of being able to see into each other’s rooms 24/7. It had never crossed my mind that I would see another GIRL in there! I mean I know that Annabelle goes in when he is there because I see her sometimes in the morning. But not some random chic called Steph who he has never mentioned!

So I kept watching. I could hear him but he was out of view. Getting as far away from her as possible I guess. She was crying and sitting on the bed, almost looking straight at the laptop. It felt fucking weird. She was saying that her and him were meant to be together and that he shouldn’t be with some 17 year old who lived hundreds of miles away! I then debated whether I should just switch off. I could hardly bare to hear his response. Thank God though, he defended me and said it was nothing to do with her or anyone else and that he loved me. Oh Holy fuck thank you!

That was when I went out with Chester even though it was pissing with rain by then.

Poor Lee. He knew I could see it all and must have felt fucking shit. When I got back about half hour later I had 20 missed calls. I had forgotten my phone. I had calmed down by then and called him. She had finally gone but had said that it wasn’t finished. Disturbed at all?

He had met her a few weeks ago but told her he was in a relationship. She had come round to the Halls a few times looking for him lately and spoken to Annabelle who had obviously told her everything about me. The ammunition at least. Bitch. Lee told me not to be mad at her but I can’t help it. You don’t pursue if someone tells you they are in a relationship and specially you fucking don’t go to their Halls and walk into their room! None of their doors lock, but they don’t usually care cos the front door has got a security buzzer and they all trust each other as they are all good buds who live there. Annabelle must have let her in. If I find out Annabelle knows about our Skyping 24/7 then I would deduce she let her in and took pleasure in the fact that she knew I would see her there. Fucksake.

I am so sick and tired of this long distance shit. I feel like I am the last one to know everything.

 

 

Brain Fever, Heart Burn

Lee want to a party with Annabelle last night. WHY DOES THIS WIND ME THE FUCK UP SO MUCH?

We talked for about an hour before he went out and he texted me at about 2:30am to see if I was awake. I wasn’t, FOR ONCE, but  again at 4am he texted me and I was….so we talked. Good news! The girl, Eva, who works in a Gallery in London, told him at the party that she will be staying at the Halls anyway so she can do the rounds at night and in the morning for the whole week if needs  be. YAY! So now, Lee has to have a word with the Landlord and get them to talk on the phone and for him to agree that he trusts Eva. He is doing that AS WE SPEAK. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease let it be ok!

Then he has to persuade his M&D that he needs to come back and for either his Dad or Mum to get time off work to go down and get him…or for his parents to fork out for the train. That’s going to be the difficulty. I can’t see his parents being happy about sending him £125 for the train if it’s only to be here for a few days. More likely his Dad will go and get him. In that case he has to take a day off work…that might not be until Wednesday or Thursday. Then we have to think of project stuff to collect so we make the whole thing genuine. Although apparently Annabelle thought my idea was really good and said she might put it forward as a real branch of the Community Arts thing!

FF sake I am going mad here! Mum keeps asking me what’s wrong and of course I can’t tell her! Kate has gone to France with her M&D for the whole week and Stella is with her ‘Pooch’ as she calls him.

…………………………………………………. argh!

So what else has been going on. I did some research about Paranormal Investigating, but found out nothing I don’t already know. I want to get a dictaphone first to record any voices, or the correct name, EVPs, in my room. A few times lately, I have been awake during the night and heard that girl’s voice in my ear. ‘Mum, is that you?’ and then there has always been a shadow  near the door that moves across towards the bathroom. Weirdly, I usually have my earphones in as well, so how the heck?

Yeh, so this half term is all up in the air at the moment. My Dad asked me if I’d like to go to Greece, but it means him taking time off from the surgery when there’s a lot of lurgie going around. He has been really busy with house calls. Besides, if I went there for a week, which would be frickin awesome btw, I wouldn’t get to see my boy. End of! There seems to be a chance, so Thessaloniki can wait…

Apart from Coursework and seeing Lee, I have started to plan my new spring wardrobe of hand made stuff. I am making patterns for tops like these:

 

 

They should be fairly easy. The first one is a normal top like a tshirt but with added lengths at the bottom. I have cut out around an existing tshirt and now I am attaching the long bits at the sides, gluing them like tabs so that I can just cut out 2 x sides as if it’s a complete piece.

The other one is just like a normal top again, but I am going to do some sketch ideas along the lines of owls, skeletons, butterflies etc and making card versions so I can lay them on the fabric and cut round them like a stencil.

It’s 3:55. Lee and me are skyping at 4 so I better wrap this up! Fingers crossed this works out else I’ll be as arsey as arse this half term………

 

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Parallel Universes

Parallel Worlds (Univers parallèles) (Photo credit: Gilderic Photography)

I was talking to my Aunt last night and she was telling me about her thoughts for a new novel about me. (Heehee!) I won’t go into that now, but we got to talking about her first novelette ‘Abandoned’ which if you have read my page about it, you will know is about me as well. (If you haven’t please read about it here: https://caseyepapadaki.wordpress.com/abandoned-a-haunting-ghostly-tale-about-me/) Anyways, we were discussing the theme of the next book and she mentioned that Abandoned had the theme of Parallel Universes as its main idea. This was based on my ghostly experience during the summer with the derelict house I found in the woods. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it, mainly cos I don’t understand it myself, so if you guys want to know the ‘fictional’ version of events, please read the book! It is true to what happened to me but obviously my Aunt added stuff to make a more interesting story. The stuff with Lee was based on facts as well. I was a dick to him because I judged him.

I digress once again!

So I have been watching youtube documentaries about parallel universes. This one here is the one I am watching now. It has got me to thinking about loads of stuff, mainly that my derelict house experience could have been my contact with a parallel universe. If we go on to think about Doppelgangers and stuff (twins of yourself) it gets creepy. Like, this ghost that I keep seeing in my room. She looks like me. From what I can gather she dresses like me. WTF? I have always been able to talk to my Aunt about this stuff and she has said she wants to base the next book on my encounters with this ghost girl. She wants me to start doing some kind of investigations, like for example leaving a dictaphone on in my room when I’m not there or at night. I really want to do this although it’s a bit scary. I will research some stuff about it today and see what equipment and advice I can find. I have watched tons of paranormal investigation programmes so I have some idea.

This will be interesting!

 

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