That was what this excuse for a human being fired at my face yesterday at college. I want to put it out there.

I sit around, especially during Theatre Studies, and just watch all the things that these dickweeds do and how they are all competing continuously. I don’t know. Is it the nature of the kind of people who want to study theatre that they HAVE to be attention seeking, drama stirring, air kissing, pretentious DOUCHE BAGS? For the sake of fuckery.

Well. On Friday afternoon, Kate was off so I was just sitting on the edge of the stage while Mr Somers was talking to us. I could see Gemma Matthews, Eliza Brown and Jo Flint whispering and looking in my direction so I just smiled at them sarcastically, as I normally do. Somers then said that he was putting us into groups to do some improv work and to my horror, I was put with Gemma (look at my hair, watch me swish it, it’s cascading down my back, look at me, look) Matthews and she high fived the other bimbettes and sauntered over to me, the hair swishing and her hips swaying. I pretended to look through her and then stood up. I said to start immediately, and walked to the back of the stage where it was quiet and sat down. She didn’t. She didn’t want to get her clothes dusty. She actually said that! When she had found a chair she sat there and sat cross legged with her hands on her knees like she was meditating, her face upwards and towards the audience, so fake…so fucking up her own crack-hole.

I started because she clearly was too busy mouthing things to her little minions who were dotted around the theatre having been put with different people to work with. Mr Somers was walking towards us, so I started. Our line was ‘Have you seen Mr. Green’s poodle?’

I said it and she was still trying to get either Eliza or Jo to understand what she was saying. Therefore and thus, the fuckward didn’t carry on with the prov. Mr Somers was standing there, clip board hugged to his chest, tapping his foot on the wood of the stage floor. I said. ‘Someone said they saw it this morning shitting in the middle of a croquet pitch.’

Somers laughed.

I carried on.

‘Are you really that much of a dick that you don’t realise I am speaking?’

Somers waited for a bit. I looked at her and someone must have pointed at Somers because her face fell and she mouthed fuuuuuck. She turned to Somers. He was fuming. She got a ranting in front of the whole class about her attitude. People were sniggering. I was out right laughing. She looked mortified. I think she’s close to being chucked off the course to be honest, but that’s not my fault!

Afterwards, I had worked with one of the guys and it was fine, but she pulled my hood as we were leaving the theatre. She literally pulled it to the other side of the corridor and towered over me, pointing her manicured silly pink and blue shitty finger nail towards my eye. Then she said THAT.

I said that, yes, I was in fact a bitch, but I had not ever contributed to her reputation of being a complete and utter container of brain muck. She had done that all by herself. She glared at me and then swished away down the corridor, her perfume aroma of Estee Lauder ‘silly cow’ wafting behind her.

I went home feeling quite pleased. The fucking idiot.

Meanwhile, in my attic room, I am missing Lee like a muverflupper, and looking forward to 6 weeks time when we get 2 weeks for Easter! I would LOVE to take him to Greece because Easter is amazing there. I don’t know though. I would have to stay with Yiayia and Papous in the garconiere, if it isn’t being rented out, but I doubt if they would let me stay in there with a BOY. Greek grandparents are strict like that….

So what have I been up to? Not a lot. Driving lessons are going good. I have 3 a week and the instructor has had to tell me to slow down every single lesson. Haha! I just love it.

Annabitch’s boyfriend broke her arm! Why does she stay with that c***t? Now Lee has got to run around after her. She’s telling everyone she fell down the stairs. It’s bullshit. Lee and Chloe are trying to get her to report him to the fuzz but she won’t and they can’t get it out of her why. I know why. She LIKES being a fucking victim and she likes having Lee running around after her like a puppy. FUCK OFF! She entered his room while we were Skyping the other night. Just walked right in there, no knocking. He had to go and iron something for her. Oh come on. Good job we weren’t doing anything private aint it? 😦

But yehh. me and Lee are sound. Dimitri is still flirting with me and getting through more girlfriends than I get through packets of Amber Leaf! I love that dude. I want to see him but I’m in two minds…I think I would find it hard to stop myself if he tried to kiss me or something. And that doesn’t dilute my feelings for Lee, as I’ve said before. They are like polar opposites and I love different aspects of both of them. Tough one!

Right, time to go heat up my spag bol leftovers. I’ve got a bottle of red and Lisa said she might come by and hang out. I don’t mind, but she talks all the time about Joel and it doesn’t sound like he’s THAT into her to be honest. Lee says that’s just Joel, he doesn’t show his feelings, preferring to make jokes instead of owning up to anything. Lisa is sensitive like her brother and she’s finding it hard as he’s out all the time partying and she doesn’t know where or who with. At least when Lee’s out he’s working and he texts me when he can. He tells me he loves me every day and I feel it. It’s not just words coming out his gob. Lee has tried to talk to Joel, but he did the thing he normally does which is make a joke. Oh well. We shall drink wine, I shall smoke out the window and we shall watch something spooktastic.

laters. 🙂

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Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

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Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.

So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.

Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.

Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.

Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.

one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.

Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!

Here’s the link to the blog:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/

I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.

This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:

For college:

casey college college casey long cardies like this

jacket

For going out (when I’m not grounded…)

casey now going out style

I would like to be wearing:

grunge 1 prefered 2 prefered 3 prefered

I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…

I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.

Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..

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My Aunt is here at the moment. It’s half term and that means I have a whole week of getting up late and lazing around. Except that I can’t because I’ve got an EXTORTIONATE amount of college work to do as well as fulfilling my ‘promise’ to Dad of working at the surgery in the mornings. Beginning bastard tomorrow. Goodbye lye ins……:(

So back to stuff. My Aunt is here, the cool one who I share my blog with. I don’t know why we still share it but it’s fine. Yeh I have been hanging out with her since Friday and we’ve been talking about a bunch of stuff including Mum and Dad. They really piss me off. I am living like a frickin hermit here. She agrees with me that life is shit-on-a-stick for a 17 year old..nearly 18, but the thing is what can I do when I’ve got another year of A levels to do…? She offered to give me a place to stay at hers with her boyfriend but I wouldn’t have my own space and it would be too far to travel to my 6th form. Plus the college near her doesn’t do my Theatre Studies A level so I wouldn’t be able to transfer there. You reckon my M&D would let me move away? Pfffffffffffffffff no fucking way while the moon is round…

The worst scenario right now is with Lee. Apart from the OBVIOUS that he’s NOT here and it’s half term, he and Annabelle are plotting stuff. Well, there are three of them, him, Annabitchface and Chloe who are buddies in the Halls of residence near his Uni. They are all on the Fine Art Course so they hang out etc. lee’s best mates are on the Film and Animation Course at the same Uni but they live in a house quite a long way from Lee. Now apparently there are two spare rooms in this house up for rent and Lee has suggested that to make the whole dealio cheaper, those three should move in with his buddies. There’s a huge room with two double beds in it and an en suit and another single room. Annafuckingslut wants her and Lee to live in there!!!!!!!

You absolute BITCH.

I mentioned that Chloe wanted to Skype with me, well she has been texting me while she gets her laptop so we have been getting to know each other. She can’t stand Annabellend either! She finds her arrogant, snobbish and nasty. Ha! She told me that A has a way with lee, like she behaves nice in front of him but as soon as he leaves or she’s not with him, she turns nasty. She, Chloe, has suggested to Lee that Annabelle has the single room and her and him share the big one. Thing is that A’s parents are rich and pay for everything. I reckon she’s got a credit card so she can buy anything she wants on them. It would make sense for her to have her own room so that Chloe can help lee out with the rent for their room. I don’t know Chloe that well, but I would rather he share with her than Annabelle. PLUS, Chloe has brilliantly pointed out that my parents would feel better about me sleeping in that shared room with her and Lee than just with lee. (As if Chloe would stay there though….no no no we have already discussed that as Chloe has got another flat that we can stay in or she can stay in! MY PARENT DON’T KNOW WE ARE TOGETHER so if I wanted to go to London it would be all above board! (in their eyes until I get there haha!) Plus they think that Annabelle is Lee’s girlfriend (makes puking gestures) so it’s all covered for future fun and games!

So yes. Where the sweet fuck is my beautiful, sexy boyfriend? Still in pigging London that’s where. WORKING. As usual I am the last person in his life to know what’s going on. As in the summer, he has to think about his job in the bar, his Mum and sister desperately missing him, his Dad, (who he is still properly raging at) wanting to see him and ME. Yes. His secret lover who remains in the background. FUCK. The last thing we spoke about was that he might be able to come here on Wednesday until Monday. Let’s fucking hope so.

I wish I could just pack a bag and go go go to London right NOW. Fuck college work and working for my Dad. But no. Sensible Casey says she needs driving lessons and to get her work done so she can finish college and get THE SWEET FUCK out of here…..that’s what being with Lee has done to me! I’m all about the sensible. Well, sometimes…….

………….until I talk to DIMITRIS! He is threatening to come here. He doesn’t want to go back to Greece this half term without me and says that he can’t stand it, he misses me and wants to meet up. My parents agree that he can..yes because his parents are friends with my Grand YIAYIA and PAPOUS! Can you believe this shit………..what do I do? If Lee doesn’t come and Lee does, i don’t know if I can trust myself to NOT do something nuts like kiss him or sleep with him. If Lee does come (please please any God or Goddess who is listening…) then how can I have two guys who I adore, for different reasons, in the same vicinity and feel ok about it?

Me to Lee: Yes so this is Dimitri who I met in Thessaloniki and lives next door to my Grandparents and goes to Manchester Uni and who I find monstrously attractive in the sense that he’s crazy, rebellious and free spirited…like you are not………….

Me to Dimitri: Yeh, so this is Lee who I fell head over heels in love with last year because he’s so cute, loving, loyal and sensible, all the stuff that you and I are not and that makes him my polar opposite…as well as being drop dead gorgeous and sexy, as he’s the one I lost my virginity to…..and would stick by me through WW3 unlike you Dimitri…..

*SHOCK*

Hmmmm………….

I am in a shitter of a dilemma. As usual. I will be back later. Right now me and Aunty S are going to cook our vegetarian roast dinner to eat with M&D.

Laterz ………..oh I will be up here with S drinking beer. At least for a few days we’ve got a car to go out in and go buy stuff………….just to breathe.

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Yes, so Lee came back!

In case you were all wondering where the heck I have been! Mostly with Lee, enjoying my days, chilling out, dodging my M&D (well Lee has been!) and just being in a generally good place. It has been so hot as well….I’ve got a beaut tan…advantage of having a big back garden with no immediate neighbours! Yeppers, topless sunbathing….hoorah!

There are loads of things going on in the background too.

Dimitri has started to get really possessive, even though he’s in Halkidiki for the summer…he won’t stop texting me and has been going to an internet cafe every day, sometimes three/four times a day, to get on Skype. But I am rarely inside. I am either outside ston kipo (in the garden- trying to practice my Greek) or in the woods/ fields/bedroom/surgery  with Lee..sorry filo mou but I just can’t get my head around your demands on me. He lead me to believe that he was dating loads of gomena and having fun but clearly he aint cos he texts me every evening and seems to be lonely. I do miss him but I’ve got Lee. What can I do?

Yes, Lee is working in Dad’s surgery in the mornings, that’s why I have had chance to gussy up and get my white transparent skin to see some UVs. I was honestly scary! With my pale blue hair, I really did look like a friggin ghoul. I love that look for winter but not for summer. Must be my Greekness coming out cos I tan really easily….

Lee keeps hassling me to come clean to M&D about us. I pointed out that if I tell them, they’ll be extra OTT on their guard at bed times…and so it’ll make his climbing up more risky. He told me to tell them we are sleeping together….PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF what the actual fuck does he think he’s on about? My Dad is adamant that I’m staying a virgin til my wedding night! It’s more fun this way I think , but for Lee it’s hard cos Dad has given him this part time job and he feels guilty for going behind his back. I get that but t would spoil everything. I know Lee wants it all out in the open and we keep talking about it with me ending up sulking (only because I know I haven’t got a leg to stand on…he’s right and I hate that he’s right!) and him going quiet on me. This is the only downer so far.

I’m off to make dinner…yes, Mum has been insisting I cook for myself. I quite enjoy it! I’m making quorn wraps..like chicken wraps with onion, tomato, peppers, garlic…but with quorn pieces instead. Lee loves them. He should be round soon. I will try and write more but if I don’t……HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!!

DGBCatDolphin

vgfrf

Because lee’s not here yet. And I’m boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.

He’s working. Why? Well to cut a long story short, his Dad has decided that he’s not going to be sending his Mum and sister any money! WTF would be about right. I mean, it’s NOT right that he should do this, surely? Lee has been on the phone with him every night trying to sort it, but apparently his M&D had a huge row and that was the last thing he said to her. Lee is, of course, fuming with him for many reasons. The obvious being that he HAS to provide for his family even though they are filing for divorce. He will have to pay them money legally so why stop now and make it worse!? Poor lee has had to scrounge extra hours in the bar to send money back to his Mum while this childish situation gets resolved. That leaves me and him up in the air as to when he can come back home for the summer, as well as the problem that he can’t stay in his house over summer without paying rent, which is massive. His Dad’s not going to carry on paying for his rent (if he’s in such a fucking foul strop) for Lee to work to send money home to his Mum. lee said that he’s willing to lie to his Dad, saying that he’s got to stay and do Uni work, for the sake of being able to stay and earn some cash! Jesus fucking Christ.

I just listen to all this every night, trying not to get upset, trying to be supportive, thinking WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME!!!??? I don’t want him to have extra ball ache because I’m whining like a bitch at him. Fuck it!

Dimitri has gone to Thessaloniki for the summer and is, as we speak, at his parent’s summer house in Halkidiki. Mmmm. Jealous much? Hell yeh! I miss him. He hasn’t got an internet connection that can support skype so we just use msn and texting. Ouch. He told me that he’s dating three girls there already, all from Thessaloniki. Again, I try not to think about why I am scratched by the nails of the green eyed monster when he talks about it. I don’t know why.

He sent me this a few days ago. Twist the knife RIGHT into the wound why not?Diamerisma_agora_Thesaloniki_fotografia_19113222

Ok, this is the view he had of my (Grandparent’s) balcony when I was there earlier this year and we would sit outside til late in the night talking. looks like Yiayia has been clearing out a bit cos there are some cupboards and stuff there. I MISS MY ROOM SO MUCH!!!

I have been writing to my Greekies and I got a letter back from Yiayia the other day. I will post it on here, it’s amazing to see the Greek writing. I showed it to Dim on skype and he translated it for me. Awww I love my Greekies! I want to go back so much and I keep having dreams about it. I wake up and feel so sad. Lee is always there with me and Dimitri. I wish it could be like that…

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So I haven’t been doing much, just moping around. I know I should be happy that college is over til September, but surprisingly, I am am feeling deflated after the exams. I guess it’s cos I feel like I am DOING something constructive in my mission to get away from here and go to London with Lee when I am at college and working towards exams. Afterwards it’s back to being 17 year old Casey who still lives with her parents in a house in the middle of nowhere. Going nowhere with only Chester dog for company.

I did get to go shopping with Mum (well, I say with, but she went to Next and I went to some charity shops) and these are two things I picked up. Cool eh?

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There are so many things I want to do, but can’t. Like:

1. Get a tattoo on my wrist. (M&D forbidden).

2. Get a nose ring. (M&D forbidden).

3. Go to Greece and hang out with D.

4. Go to London and hang out with Lee.

5. Go to my Aunt’s and help her write the next novel about me and Lee. (I might get to do that soon actually).

Basically, this is what I have done every day since I broke up from college:

  • Got up around midday.
  • Taken Chester for a walk.
  • Showered and put makeup etc on.
  • Sometimes eaten breaky and mostly not!
  • Sent Lee and Dim a text message each and replied to them.
  • Tried to tidy up my room and sort out dirty clothes, taken some downstairs, shoved them in the washing machine.
  • Attempted to iron some but given up. How dull is that fucking job???
  • Gone for a walk in the woods again with Chester.
  • Read a book or magazine. (Currently reading The Ritual by …..some guy and can’t get into it!)
  • Surfed around on Youtube for any new stuff on paranormal investigations.
  • Listened to music. Current favourite includes Sneaker Pimps.
  • Had a cheese and pickle sandwich.
  • Written some diary stuff.
  • Talked to lee on the phone or Skype.
  • Stared out the window and missed Lee a lot.
  • Gone downstairs to eat with M&D. Avoided a lot of topics -of -the- day for example, what are you going to do for the next 6 weeks, Casey?
  • Helped Mum (not Dad you notice!) clean up the kitchen.
  • Back out to take Chester for a walk. Stayed out a long time cos I love this time of day. Twilight.
  • Watched TV in my room or some youtube vids.
  • Listened to music on my i pod. Dozed off.
  • Woken up at around 12 midnight to talk to Lee on Skype. He texts me if he sees I am asleep hahaha! How cool is that!
  • Watched a DVD or something else to try and take my mind off missing Lee (approximately 3am each night after he falls asleep).
  • Fallen asleep around 4:30am……………

Cool. Not. Very not.

Things have to change………..

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Who would miss me?

June 9, 2013

I have been thinking about this a lot. And I have just read another blog saying exactly the same.

It’s at times like this when I have spent my entire weekend doing college work (we have got given details about our end of year exams which are actually AS Levels) and been trying to call/text people just to hear someone else SPEAK and no one is picking up or answering, that I feel just so fucking lifeless and devoid of purpose.

My parents…well Dad has been working all weekend. He usually does, this is the thing about him being the only Doc for miles around. His own daughter going through a SHIT time but he doesn’t seem to know or bother to ask. Mum has been either out in the garden fiddling with her flowers and paving slabs and hasn’t called upstairs hardly at all, just to tell me when meals are ready. Then she usually just gives me mine and goes off somewhere else saying that she has had hers and Dad’s is plated up ready for when he gets home. And???

Ok, I know I could go downstairs into the garden more often, play with Chester there, but she usually shouts and says he scuffs up the lawn or tramples the flowers. That’s why I always take him to the woods. My haven.

Stella is NEVER free to talk. Always with Ian. Or is it Mark? Fuck’s sake I can’t keep up with her.

Kate and I haven’t spoken for about 2 weeks.

Dimitri is in London this weekend. I think it’s a cousin of his or a relative at least, who is doing a Masters there and he’s gone to spend some time with him. He says he gets tired of speaking English sometimes and needs to kick back and speak his own language. I get that, it must be hard. I tried to talk to him in Greek the other night on Skype but he fell about laughing as soon as I opened my mouth so he has put me off doing it now, the evil shitface! Yes so anyway, he’s not picking up.

Lee. I spoke to him this morning but he’s got a shift at the bar today. He does only weekends now. I will get to talk to him later on at about 11:30, but meanwhile…???

He gets a bit pissy with me when I talk about this anyway. He thinks I am being hostile and should try and talk to my parents more instead of hiding away in my attic, away from the world. Yeh ok, but he’s really close to his M&D and sister. I am an only child and do not have anything in common with my parents. Except that my Mum used to be a good artist and my Dad is Greek. Loads then!

I can’t be arsed to talk to them. Am I a bitch?

I like my own company. Is that wrong?

I’m allowed Chester up here now as well so even less reason to go downstairs into Mum’s domain of Elle Decor magazine.

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I’ll just listen to some music and stare outside at the setting sun. It’s peaceful.

Unlike me.

 

 

I don’t know how or why, but I have been nominated for above award by

http://primalnights.wordpress.com

and

http://hauntedteenager.wordpress.com/

To be really damn honest here, I don’t know WHO reads my blog…and it doesn’t matter THAT much cos it’s a place for me to rant at (oh so many) things that make me CRAZY and just about everyday crap that occurs. None of my friends know I write a blog so it’s kinda safe and I feel free! I’m pretty sure that’s the case for a whole bunch of other Bloggers here as well, but anyways THANKS to these guys, I really appreciate it!

So now I have to do what I have to do….

Here are the Little Rules.

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website.

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award.

3. Present fifteen awards to deserving bloggers

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you have  linked them in the post.

5. Post seven interesting things about yourself

So here goes!

Here are my nominees (sorry not 15!) I am putting them in categories cos it kind of shows you facets of my personality and therefore you will understand a bit more about me… and also…you can select whichever you like to read based on my descriptions!

So.

General thoughts and diary style blogs

(some of which include rantings and stuff about relationships and similar issues that I blog about):

Avalanche of a Mindset  www.rhairyza.wordpress.com

I Speak Lyrics www.kec98.wordpress.com

Just another Teenage Blogger www.justanotherteenageblogger.wordpress.com

Life from the Queen of Hearts www.lifefromthequeenofhearts.wordpress.com

You are a Wallflower www.youareawallflower.wordpress.com

Primal Night’s www.primalnights.wordpress.com

Thank you all for making me realise I am not alone in feeling fucked up!

Ghosts/Horror & films/Dark Stories

Freaky Folk Tales www.freakyfolktales.wordpress.com

Graveology www.graveOlogy.com

My Life with Ghosts www.mylifewithghosts.com

Spider Goddess www.spidergoddess.wordpress.com (mystic subjects)

Animal Rights:

www.newsforanimalwelfare.com

Now for the bit that makes me cringe!

7 ‘Interesting’ (or not) things about myself:

  • I have got a birth mark on my left butt cheek in the shape (or design!) of a spider’s web and I love it..
  • I am half Greek. My Dad was born in Thessaloniki in the North. I am learning Greek!
  • When I was a toddler I fell into a well that my parents didn’t know existed and I was there for 12 hours. I wasn’t even hurt when they found me. Not a single scratch!
  • I have a ghost girl in my attic bathroom. I see her watching me sometimes.
  • I am an only child. I think that’s why I hate sharing stuff and I am anti~social!
  • I have got a dog called Chester. I love all animals and do NOT eat them or wear them.
  • One of my ambitions is to live on a self sufficient farm in the middle of a forest.

Thanks to everyone who follows me and reads my garbage! 🙂 34705_485251998184137_751667628_n

Animallib

Animallib (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes it’s just too much to even look at these. Today I put some as backgrounds on my lappy. I miss Yiayia and her stupid talk about boyfriends and why I dye my hair blue. Paps just used to sit there sipping coffee and beaming at me. It’s not fair. They are my flesh and blood but they won’t come to England. They think they are too old…..Yiayia has never been out of Greece, never been on a plane. What a life…just being at home all day learning how to cook and bringing up her kids. My Dad and my Aunt Sophia. God, she is a weirdo though! I dunno…I kinda liked her but she was so loud. Like, why dye your hair blonde if you have got naturally BLACK hair and olive skin? No! I would LOVE to have black hair and olive skin! Look at me. To say I am Half Greco, it sucks really that I took Mum’s complexion! WHY GOD, WHY?????

‘Itan para poli wraia na se xerw…..elpizw oti mia mera, tha ksanasinandoume…tha mou leipseis poli’

I don’t know if I remember that right….D wrote it down in English letters for me and wouldn’t translate it. I lost it though, I have looked everywhere for it. I didn’t dare ask dad in case it’s something ‘personal’ hahaha. I can’t google it to translate because it’s not in proper Greek letters………Damn!

Some more shots of the city of light!

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this one is near where we got off the bus in the centre. I LOVE the way it looks so intense with the shops and apartments stacked up…and then an ancient church next to it.

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a random night shot along the port front….can you tell I was wasted? hahaha

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D took this…right down a step nearly touching the water in the port. I was too drunk to do it I would have landed in there for sure!

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around the same area by day…

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random backstreet shot

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D made me go up the White Tower even though I was shitting myself. He took this so I would be able to see the view at least from a camera. He called me ‘Kota’ which I believe is CHICKEN.

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ancient ruins in the midst of this heaving and wonderfully mad city centre! All the shops round here are hippy/goth/arty.

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abandoned baby! Oh yeh!

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one of the cafe’s where I drank copious Frappe’s (gliko me gala!)

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We walked this strip til we wore it down I reckon!

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random cool shot of nice buildings…The National Bank I think

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Some big protest…….can’t remember what about. Apparently it’s always happening. Good!

Oh MAN look at those apartment buildings!

What does Casey want for Christmas? One of those blue ones! Er…dream on.

Oh I was sent this video…D says it is one of the best (traditional) Greek singers and the song is about Thessaloniki.

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Σ ΑΝΑΖΗΤΩ ΣΤΗ ΣΑΛΟΝΙΚΗ

means something like; I explore or delve into Saloniki

http://www.greek-dictionary.org/translate-english/delve

I suppose like he wants to know everything about the place. Like I do!

You see, I am learning Greek quite fast! I have started to practice the alphabet and writing the letters. It seems to come easily, I guess it’s genetic. Dad’s really happy and so is Y&P. I really want to be able to communicate with them properly someday.

So last night, Dimitri shouted across at me from his balcony and I parked my chair at the end of my balcony. His balcony almost touches mine so it was like I was in there. There were 5 guys all playing guitar and singing. They kept passing me bottles of beers (Mythos..I love it) and I got a bit drunk hahaha. They played mostly Greek songs and Dimitri kept reminding them that I didn’t really understand so they would play some stuff I knew. Led Zeppelin was popular with them and some Nirvana which I sang along to pretty loudly! I kept expecting someone to come out and bollock us for being loud but of course this is Greece. No one seems to give a shit although Dad said he could hear them and that the ‘noise’ stopped at about 3am. Whoops! Greek boys are fricking sexy I have to say at this point. One of them, I think he was called Kostas, kept staring at me and spent most of the evening singing AT me, I could tell. He was really cute. I think I like the dark skin and hair. Hahaa. Lee is dark as well but he has got fair skin.

They taught me some words that apparently I need to know…like Malakas WANKER……hahahaha! And how to say Fuck you which is Gamisoo….they said it a lot to each other as well as Malaka and I kept laughing. Apparently it’s normal and friendly, wtf ok then! I said to Dimitri, if this isn’t arguing I wanna see what you’re like when you’re really pissed with each other..he thought it was funny and said that it’s pretty ugly. They kept doing a hand gesture that I love as well…hand in your face, like NAAH! You’re an idiot and need to shut up type of thing….Oh I love it.

So today I went out with the oldies and we went for another walk (a TOO SHORT walk!) around the city. I just love it so much!   Dad told me that there was a massive fire and that the city centre was designed by a French architect after that. It is really beautiful. The buildings are mixed up like you get modern ones sandwiched in between an ancient church and a french style one. There are also LOADS of abandoned ones as well. I was standing there just staring up and Dad had to drag me away. I really REALLY want to go out and explore ON MY OWN. I don’t think Dad will let that happen. Fuck it…Gamisoo!

I had given Dimitri my number to call me so we could go out for a coffee. BUT he called me whilst I was out with the oldies and I told Dad and he was like, oh let’s all go for a coffee down the port area………WTF? Y&P wanted to as well so I had to EMBARRASSINGLY tell Dimitri. Thing is he was cool about it. What is it with young people that they LIKE adult company? I was a bit pissed off but what could I do? Dad told him where we were gonna be and we met him there. I had ordered a normal coffee (ena Ness!) but when Dimitri got there he ordered a Frappe! When it came I was like WHAT? It’s cold coffee in a tall glass and it looks like it’s got a massive head on it. He let me try and and WOAHHHH it’s amazing. He then said why don’t I order one and I thought hmmmm so I said to him, let’s go somewhere else and I’ll order one there. I think he got the hint and we stuck around for another 20 minutes and then excused ourselves. M&D gave me looks as if to say DON’T YOU DARE do anything..but Yiayia was like, nudging Dad and getting all excited making a shooing gesture with her hand. She was saying that Dimitri is a good kid (kalo paythee) and that I would be ok with him. Yiayia I love you! AGAPI MOO! (My love!)

So we walked down the port area towards the White Tower (which I have to say isn’t white hahaha) and Dimitri told me all about Manchester and how he settled in and where he goes out etc. I told him my plans for Uni and he was really interested in my Art work and what I do with my clothes! We then talked about how hard it is for me with Lee being so far away and stuff. Get this though. His girlfriend is studying in Athens! OMG how crap! He hardly ever sees her, like this Easter for example, she has to spend it with her family in somewhere called…I can’t remember…something like Serress? It’s not far from Thessaloniki but they hardly see each other cos then he goes back to UK. I think the summer will be their time. I can’t imagine that shit.

We sat at a cafe outdoors at the end of the port area opposite the White Tower and I ordered my own Frappe! I am properly drinking this for ever now! Dimitri was impressed cos I asked him how to order it and I apparently said it perfectly: Thelo ena frappe gliko me gala (I want a sweet Frappe with milk) CHECK ME OUT!

We had a fun time there, he was teaching me some phrase that I can’t remember now…too many, my brain is overloaded! And that guy knows SO many people! Girls and guys would walk past and they would stop and kiss him like two or three times on the cheek or do a kind of high five thing (boys) and talk for ages, all animated like they were on a high. I so wished I could join in and talk as well, I felt like a dick. He was very polite and told all of them my name. So sweet. One girl stopped for a bit and had a coffee as well. She spoke really good English and asked me some stuff. Her name was Popi. She seemed quite er…how can I say it…over dramatic? I dunno…a bit egotistical and the way she was flicking her hair around got on my nerves. She had too much perfume on and exceptionally high heeled shoes……I wasn’t jealous…no, I have defo decided I wasn’t..I don’t know, just something about her. She seemed fake. Is that a Greek girl trait?

I jokingly said to Dimitri that she was flirting with him and he was like, no…..he said that most Greek girls like attention and flirt continuously. He seemed quite down on them in general. He said that they are difficult to read and like to play mind games. I asked him about his girlfriend (called Alexandra) and he said that she is a rocker with pink hair and Doc martens. She doesn’t go in for all that crap. Ha! He said that Thessaloniki girls are generally more down to earth and alternative thinking, whereas girls from Athens and the islands are the mind players. Interesting! He likes to stereotype, but who am I to say….

So we got the bus back and we said goodbye in the corridor…..and he frickin kissed me on the cheeks…three times I think. But I KNOW it’s normal here..hmmm I do find him really attractive though…NO NO Casey stop!!!

Here are some photos:

Kostas friend of Casey

Dimitri with his cheeky grin after laughing at me trying to repeat phrases to him in Greek!

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where I walked with the oldies, not far from the port area.

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And some abandoned buildings!

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actually this isn’t, but it’s gorgeous anyways!

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I can’t wait for tomorrow!