Disturbed at all?

March 10, 2013

I haven’t written for a while because of a few factors….the most obvious being that watching Lee on Skype and having it on all the time means I can’t manage to peel my eyes off the screen for long enough to write a blog post.

Also, I have been off college again for a few days. Had a sick bug or something. loads of people got it and I always get whatever illness is going round. Ironic seeing as my Dad is a frickin Doctor! I did think for a horrific hour or two that I might be pregnant but thinking about it logically (and not getting into that much detail on here), it is VERY doubtful. Careful is an understatement as far as Lee is concerned.

Lastly and honestly, not a lot was going on. Nothing really worth writing about at least.

Until now.

I came back from Kate’s yesterday afternoon around 4pm and went straight to Skype as Lee said he had just come back and would be there to chat before he started getting ready to go out. (Did I mention I hate Saturday nights?) So I sat down at my desk and looked at the screen. I saw a girl standing by Lee’s bed. It wasn’t Annabelle, it was some girl I didn’t know obviously. She was just standing there looking down at his unmade bed, hands in her jacket pockets. She obviously didn’t know he leaves Skype on!

So, I texted him, asking him where he was. He said downstairs in the shared lounge with Annabelle and that he would be there in 2 minutes. I sent him another saying that there was a girl in his room. He then called me straight away and I could hear he was lunging up the stairs. He asked me what she looked like and how long she had been there, what she was doing etc.

Then I saw him fly into the room and stop dead when he saw her. There was a few seconds of silence and then she turned to look at him. I heard him go ‘Steph, what are you doing in here?’ and suddenly she was throwing herself at him, her arms going round his neck and he stumbled back and thudded against the half closed door, slamming it shut. He was then trying to push her off him, but she keot coming back at him and grabbing out. I heard her go ‘Please lee’ a few times before he slipped under her and came really close up to the laptop for a split second and disappearing out of view.

I felt sick. Like I was intruding but I couldn’t look away. I maybe should have switched Skype off or just minimised it, but I was transfixed in a really ugly, dark way. I never thought about the consequences of being able to see into each other’s rooms 24/7. It had never crossed my mind that I would see another GIRL in there! I mean I know that Annabelle goes in when he is there because I see her sometimes in the morning. But not some random chic called Steph who he has never mentioned!

So I kept watching. I could hear him but he was out of view. Getting as far away from her as possible I guess. She was crying and sitting on the bed, almost looking straight at the laptop. It felt fucking weird. She was saying that her and him were meant to be together and that he shouldn’t be with some 17 year old who lived hundreds of miles away! I then debated whether I should just switch off. I could hardly bare to hear his response. Thank God though, he defended me and said it was nothing to do with her or anyone else and that he loved me. Oh Holy fuck thank you!

That was when I went out with Chester even though it was pissing with rain by then.

Poor Lee. He knew I could see it all and must have felt fucking shit. When I got back about half hour later I had 20 missed calls. I had forgotten my phone. I had calmed down by then and called him. She had finally gone but had said that it wasn’t finished. Disturbed at all?

He had met her a few weeks ago but told her he was in a relationship. She had come round to the Halls a few times looking for him lately and spoken to Annabelle who had obviously told her everything about me. The ammunition at least. Bitch. Lee told me not to be mad at her but I can’t help it. You don’t pursue if someone tells you they are in a relationship and specially you fucking don’t go to their Halls and walk into their room! None of their doors lock, but they don’t usually care cos the front door has got a security buzzer and they all trust each other as they are all good buds who live there. Annabelle must have let her in. If I find out Annabelle knows about our Skyping 24/7 then I would deduce she let her in and took pleasure in the fact that she knew I would see her there. Fucksake.

I am so sick and tired of this long distance shit. I feel like I am the last one to know everything.

 

 

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2 Responses to “Disturbed at all?”

  1. primalnights Says:

    I have not been read blogs much but wanted to see how you were doing since your first night with Lee. This post is interesting for sure. But overall I’m glad you seem to be so happy. πŸ™‚

  2. Casey Says:

    Yeh things are going great, specially now we both have skype…..Easter Holidays approaching as well…hope you are good πŸ™‚ *C*


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