December 15, 2013
So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.
So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.
Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.
Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.
Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.
one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.
Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!
Here’s the link to the blog:
I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.
This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:
For going out (when I’m not grounded…)
I would like to be wearing:
I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…
I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.
Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..
December 7, 2013
The weather has been horrific the last few days, flooding and high winds. I have been LOVING being in my attic cos I can really sit and listen to the wind screaming around the roof and watch the treetops swaying, groaning when their trunks move. It sounds very eerie and intense. My Aunt Serena is here this weekend so we are going to be hanging out again, making notes for the new novel ‘The Silent Angels’. She had a bit of a tiff with my M&D about them grounding me but they haven’t changed their stupid minds about the whole thing, neither the giving Mum all my receipts bollocks. Serena has always had these bouts of grief with my Mum (her older sister) because she’s cool and my Mum isn’t. Simples.
She has brought me some tobacco but not much. She used to smoke herself and gave up so she’s a bit like, Casey it’s bad for you, but knows that I have to give up cos I want to not cos I’m told too. We’re also drinking tonight. Mum and Dad are going to some party (again) so we’re staying in (again) and watching The Conjuring, American Horror story and The Shining. And getting a bit wasted. I deserve it.
I’m not long back from the surgery shift. Or the SSSS as I call it (ShittySaturdaySurgeryShift). Mum has said we have to go shopping tomorrow instead because she wants to go to Lincoln Christmas Market today. Good luck with that one! It’s the biggest and oldest market in Europe ALLEGEDLY and it’s about half hours drive from here. It’ll be crowded to shit. Serena lives in Lincoln and took her students yesterday and said it was heaving and you couldn’t see the stalls for stupid people’s bodies. No, not my type of enjoyable day out!
Lee is a work today until 5 and then comes back to chill and Skype with me until 7 when he’s going back to the bar. He’s trying to get money to give his Mum for Christmas cos he doesn’t trust his cockend Dad to send enough to give his sister a decent Christmas. He’s so sweet! If I was in that situation I would be freaking out about the fact that I wouldn’t be getting many presents but he’s more worried about his sister. *SIGH*
I think him and Lisa are going to Leeds on Boxing Day, for two days. That’s not so bad. We’ll have plenty of time to get up to scrummy activities!
Serena has brought me lunch…mmmm (and a sneaky glass of wine!) I doubt whether I will post today again as we’re going to work on the novel this afternoon and as I said, get wasted tonight.
So, so long imaginary kindred spirits. Have a great Saturday.
Before I go, I was asking S about cool music she used to (still does!) listen to. Two bands we have been listening to are Suede, The Sisters of Mercy and Siouxsie and the Banshees. Check them out! I likey………..
June 8, 2013
one of Lee’s favourite bands….(thus I listen to avidly)
May 29, 2013
That was an awesome evening…he has left me highly frustrated and hornsome now…and M&D ARE STILL UP!!! They are NEVER still up at this time (12:10 in the night). WHY? Why now? lee keeps texting me…’Can I come back yet I need you…I want you…..”
This is seriously TORTUROUS!!!!
I love this track for night time lazing:
we ‘watched’ these
I say watched…..pffff. You know. And yes, Mum DID come upstairs. Put it this way thank god we’ve got creaky stairs.
Oh finally I think they have gone to bed.
Off to sleep with you both!!!
Oh no it’s chucking it down out there…….well I’ll just have to make sure Lee gets straight out of his wet clothes as soon as he gets here.
Bad girl. Very bad.
I know I am posting a lot tonight but I feel kinda weird and strung out. Lee is at work, D isn’t answering my texts and I don’t want to talk to Kate or Stella. M&D have been out all evening at some dinner party and I have been alone (as usual) in my room playing music and trying to chill out. It’s not happening. Anxiety reins. I swear that ghost is there in my bathroom again. I have left the lights on around the mirror but my eyes keep flitting there and I hear small sounds. Lee says I should leave a camera on in there at night. I’m thinking I should but actually what’s the difference. I know she’s there, I have seen her figure many times.
I feel like watching a horror film but I can’t choose. Oh! Did I tell you I went to see Evil Dead~the new release~ the other night? It was COOL. I’m not usually into slashy stuff but it kinda satisfied some kind of dark side in me. You would think a vegetarian wouldn’t like to see people being cut up and all that, but if I’m honest. LOVE IT.
The story of Ed and Lorraine Warren!
When is this out???!!!
When I think of Lorraine Warren it makes me miss Ryan Buell:
Always been my dream boy!
yeh so now I’m gonna just watch Paranormal State.
- Evil Dead (nobullshitmoviereviews.wordpress.com)
- New Posters & Trailer For THE CONJURING With Patrick Wilson (broadwayworld.com)
- Evil Dead – A Pure Massacre (thepuremassacre.com)
- Evil Dead (2013): A review (moeatthemovies.com)
- Watch The Last Exorcism Part II 2013 movie online free. Download movie. Full length. Avi, mp4. (consciousofmoviesets.wordpress.com)
- Weekend Horror: Evil Dead (2013) (descentintoslushland.wordpress.com)
December 16, 2012
I am so ill right now! I started to feel bad on Saturday morning and I thought best to stay in bed. Dad agreed and he said there have been loads of people coming to him with colds etc. I might muster up the energy to post again later. At least Lee keeps calling which cheers me up no end…….and Chester is allowed in my room. That’s awesome. So I am just watching Youtube and some of my favourite films. And sleeping lots. Yeh…….
December 13, 2012
I adore this man. He encompassed everything I think is magical in a man:
- Good looks. He was mixed race. Dark, brooding and that black hair is so sexy.
- Gentleness. All about peace and non violence. (He said he was against violence but playing Eric Draven in The Crow, the aggression was justified).
- He’s spiritual and philosophical. He spoke about how people take so much for granted; that they will see a thousand sunrises, but in fact they may not and how differently people would look upon a sunrise if they knew it would be their last.
- He’s a great actor. (See The Crow. In my top 5 film faves of all time.)
Watch The Crow here. I think I have seen it about 50 times. I love it so much. It’s Gothic, romantic, tragic, sexy and thought provoking!
Here is the Divine Man’s last interview. RIP you gorgeous creature.
December 2, 2012
It’s sooooo cold.
Had a brilliant Saturday with Kate and Stella. Stella came down and met Kate for the first time so we had a blast. I thought it might be really awkward as they’ve never met, but they got on really well. I guess it’s my first reaction as I’m so crap at making friends. Just cos I can’t talk to strangers, it doesn’t mean other people are the same. As I have said loads of times before, I have to start giving people a chance. I am kick ass in so many ways, and I know I can be a right bitch, but with people I don’t know I’m just unrecognisable.
Anyway, we watched some films, namely one called ‘Apartment 143’ which I LOVED. It was another Paranormal investigation type film like Grave Encounters and The Asylum Tapes, but better. The girl in it was amazing. You didn’t see her that much cos she was the rebel who stayed in her room and kept telling her dad to f-off, a bit like me really, but she became possessed and we were all like, wooooaaah! Here are some pics:
We also watched ‘Absentia’ which is a fricking cool arty film about missing people, having being taken by strange creatures, ‘underneath’.
We were all sitting on my bed clutching my cushions. No one spoke for like, 2 hours, and then at the end, Stella just went. ‘Oh my fuck.’
I really liked the girl’s style in it as well:
Man, I love a good indie horror film!
Now to the rawness that is my whole existence. I spoke to Lee. I eventually stopped being such a dick and phoned him back. I realised that I had gone and done what I was threatening to do a while back..ignore him. I didn’t mean it to be malicious, but he thought I was being offish with me and sounded really upset about it. I thanked him for the roses and tried not to sound too mushy. He didn’t know what to say at first, and then he said he thought I was ignoring him because I hated the roses and ‘didn’t think it was appropriate’. I asked him what he meant by that, but he just said that maybe ‘our current situation wasn’t the right one for me to send you flowers, after all that’s what a boyfriend would do.’
WTF? Maybe he was trying to hint? I’ve asked Stell and Kate about it and they are like, ‘Just ASK HIM OUT’ but I CAN’T. I am so scared he’ll reject me and then we won’t talk for days and days, if EVER and I will hate myself for doing it and losing my best mate. I don’t feel for him as a best mate does, that’s the frickin deal. I love him to distraction. Stella reckons that there’s no winning for me so I might as well tell him how I feel. I mean I get it..when or if he gets a girlfriend, how am I going to continue talking to him every night, pretending to be happy for him? CAN I do that? No. I don’t think I can. Can I go out with anyone else? NO. Does best buds mean you should be able to tell them anything? YES. Would he reject me gently and go on as if I hadn’t made a total as of myself? Maybe. Oh god I just don’t know. 😦
Oh well. Best get down to my work. The only thing that takes my mind off him. Well for like, 5 minutes until I start the mind whirl of going over his words again and again and ending up plugging in my earphones and listening to my Lee playlist of heart wrenching tracks. Why is it so hard?
November 25, 2012
This is my Sunday viewing. I urge EVERYONE who reads this post to PLEASE watch this movie. In my opinion it’s the most important movie EVER made.