spending time with LeeBee!

That’s what I am calling my dude now cos he got stung this afternoon! No, I shouldn’t laugh, but it was by far the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen…I will write about it when I can stop crying from laughing. Yes, he’s fine now, don’t worry!

He’s back with me as from this morning! It has been the classic scenario, he gets here and spends time with Mum and Lisa then comes to be my best mate in front of my M&D, (and gets stung by a tiny bee and freaks out like a girl hahahahahahaha!) then goes back home to eat and then back here in the evening to carry on pretending to be my best friend, then climbs the tree circa 1am……..well at least I hope to holy crap he does….later on.

We’ve already had ‘the convo’ about why I can’t just tell my Nazi parents. I’m 18, yes, I know that BeeBoy, (rotfl) but then they wouldn’t give us as much freedom. Think about it. Although, he did say, and I have to admit, I sat and considered this…I could stay at HIS house cos his Mum is cool about us. I mean he’s 20. She trusts him. Unlike my parental prison guards.

But then, mine would forbid me to stay there, so wtf…..and it’s only 5 minutes walk away so my dad would stroll along down and knock on the door. Then Lee’s Mum would be in shit and she works for Dad and needs the money, so then? No. Let’s keep it

SECRET!

just for a laugh:

(and in case you are wondering, yes, I am in fact mildy drunk as I write, at this precise moment in time)

except we don’t belong to anyone else!

Oh I’m laughing so hard right now I think I just dislocated a rib!

 

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That was what this excuse for a human being fired at my face yesterday at college. I want to put it out there.

I sit around, especially during Theatre Studies, and just watch all the things that these dickweeds do and how they are all competing continuously. I don’t know. Is it the nature of the kind of people who want to study theatre that they HAVE to be attention seeking, drama stirring, air kissing, pretentious DOUCHE BAGS? For the sake of fuckery.

Well. On Friday afternoon, Kate was off so I was just sitting on the edge of the stage while Mr Somers was talking to us. I could see Gemma Matthews, Eliza Brown and Jo Flint whispering and looking in my direction so I just smiled at them sarcastically, as I normally do. Somers then said that he was putting us into groups to do some improv work and to my horror, I was put with Gemma (look at my hair, watch me swish it, it’s cascading down my back, look at me, look) Matthews and she high fived the other bimbettes and sauntered over to me, the hair swishing and her hips swaying. I pretended to look through her and then stood up. I said to start immediately, and walked to the back of the stage where it was quiet and sat down. She didn’t. She didn’t want to get her clothes dusty. She actually said that! When she had found a chair she sat there and sat cross legged with her hands on her knees like she was meditating, her face upwards and towards the audience, so fake…so fucking up her own crack-hole.

I started because she clearly was too busy mouthing things to her little minions who were dotted around the theatre having been put with different people to work with. Mr Somers was walking towards us, so I started. Our line was ‘Have you seen Mr. Green’s poodle?’

I said it and she was still trying to get either Eliza or Jo to understand what she was saying. Therefore and thus, the fuckward didn’t carry on with the prov. Mr Somers was standing there, clip board hugged to his chest, tapping his foot on the wood of the stage floor. I said. ‘Someone said they saw it this morning shitting in the middle of a croquet pitch.’

Somers laughed.

I carried on.

‘Are you really that much of a dick that you don’t realise I am speaking?’

Somers waited for a bit. I looked at her and someone must have pointed at Somers because her face fell and she mouthed fuuuuuck. She turned to Somers. He was fuming. She got a ranting in front of the whole class about her attitude. People were sniggering. I was out right laughing. She looked mortified. I think she’s close to being chucked off the course to be honest, but that’s not my fault!

Afterwards, I had worked with one of the guys and it was fine, but she pulled my hood as we were leaving the theatre. She literally pulled it to the other side of the corridor and towered over me, pointing her manicured silly pink and blue shitty finger nail towards my eye. Then she said THAT.

I said that, yes, I was in fact a bitch, but I had not ever contributed to her reputation of being a complete and utter container of brain muck. She had done that all by herself. She glared at me and then swished away down the corridor, her perfume aroma of Estee Lauder ‘silly cow’ wafting behind her.

I went home feeling quite pleased. The fucking idiot.

Meanwhile, in my attic room, I am missing Lee like a muverflupper, and looking forward to 6 weeks time when we get 2 weeks for Easter! I would LOVE to take him to Greece because Easter is amazing there. I don’t know though. I would have to stay with Yiayia and Papous in the garconiere, if it isn’t being rented out, but I doubt if they would let me stay in there with a BOY. Greek grandparents are strict like that….

So what have I been up to? Not a lot. Driving lessons are going good. I have 3 a week and the instructor has had to tell me to slow down every single lesson. Haha! I just love it.

Annabitch’s boyfriend broke her arm! Why does she stay with that c***t? Now Lee has got to run around after her. She’s telling everyone she fell down the stairs. It’s bullshit. Lee and Chloe are trying to get her to report him to the fuzz but she won’t and they can’t get it out of her why. I know why. She LIKES being a fucking victim and she likes having Lee running around after her like a puppy. FUCK OFF! She entered his room while we were Skyping the other night. Just walked right in there, no knocking. He had to go and iron something for her. Oh come on. Good job we weren’t doing anything private aint it? 😦

But yehh. me and Lee are sound. Dimitri is still flirting with me and getting through more girlfriends than I get through packets of Amber Leaf! I love that dude. I want to see him but I’m in two minds…I think I would find it hard to stop myself if he tried to kiss me or something. And that doesn’t dilute my feelings for Lee, as I’ve said before. They are like polar opposites and I love different aspects of both of them. Tough one!

Right, time to go heat up my spag bol leftovers. I’ve got a bottle of red and Lisa said she might come by and hang out. I don’t mind, but she talks all the time about Joel and it doesn’t sound like he’s THAT into her to be honest. Lee says that’s just Joel, he doesn’t show his feelings, preferring to make jokes instead of owning up to anything. Lisa is sensitive like her brother and she’s finding it hard as he’s out all the time partying and she doesn’t know where or who with. At least when Lee’s out he’s working and he texts me when he can. He tells me he loves me every day and I feel it. It’s not just words coming out his gob. Lee has tried to talk to Joel, but he did the thing he normally does which is make a joke. Oh well. We shall drink wine, I shall smoke out the window and we shall watch something spooktastic.

laters. 🙂

silenta angel graffitti 2

 

 

Hahaha!

I’m just in the process of getting my scrubby self gussed up. He arrived at about 4pm with Joel again and is, as I speak, spending some time with Mum and Lisa. He’s coming here after dinner and we are gonna stop in tonight, ALONE as M&D are off out. I don’t know if they realise that Lee isn’t coming with Lisa and Joel. Oh well, not my fault they didn’t ask. I think Joel is stopping in Lincolnshire for the whole half term so I hope we don’t have to hang out with them all the time! Sorry, but this is mine and Lee’s ‘space’, the woods and the graveyard. I doubt that Joel will be particularly bothered about exploring the local ‘tourist’ attractions, ha! He’s a definite city boy and is used to going clubbing and out all the time drinking. Welcome to ‘No man’s (or woman’s) land’, where the drinks are bought when you go into town and stored away behind wardrobes until the next time you can go into town and ASDAs and sneak some more in. I’ve got really good at it, doing it without Mum seeing.

I think I’ve got a bottle of Vodka and two bottles of red wine left. Thing is, if we MUST hang out with Joel and Lisa, at least Joel can drive us around and we might be able to persuade him to take us into town for a night out. I say yay to that!

Before I forget, I want to post the photos taken in London. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget and then have others to post from this week, so here goes:

c and l - Copy

Selfie~ it shows Lee’s cute as pie freckles

case and lee

Me and Lee~ can’t wait for more of this!

casey and lisa

Me and Lisa more than half cut in The Crowbar

casey woods

We went for a walk on Sunday to try and clear our heads. I felt like ass

lee and lisa

Lee and Lisa. They are always doing stuff like this and goofing.

possible lee and casey change hair shade

Joel thinks he can play guitar but he really couldn’t. Lisa’s effort was better with one hand.

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Lisa and Joel as pissed as.

Oh my God! I had better go and get my dinner sorted. I think it’s gonna be spaghetti. I got some quorn mince and marinated it last night in my tomato and garlic spesh, so it should be scrum. I might feed Lee some later on and then he can eat ME for dessert. Oh my days. I fucking love his ass. I’ve dyed my hair again, it’s really purple! I hope he likes it. He was into the pastel bluey colour but that washed out really fast. Notice in the photos I just had normal hair colour. boooooooooooooooooooring!

I’m outta here!

London~ how it was

February 3, 2014

Boom! What a fucking awesome weekend I had. It started when Lee arrived with Joel last Thursday evening and we all stayed up stupid late watching horror films and snuggled up. Lee fell asleep on me a few times, but I didn’t mind at all, I was over the frickin moon just to have him beside me, all squished.

We left at 1:30am and Lee wanted to walk me home, even though it’s only a few minutes walk. The house was a whole lot of quiet so Lee just crept upstairs with me and we spent another few hours in passionate sexual bliss!

Luckily he woke up at 6am cos we hadn’t set the bloody alarm…close, real close.

I went to college but decided to leave at lunchtime cos I was knaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackered and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I fell asleep on the bus and nearly missed my stop. Duh. I didn’t text Lee, just crawled into bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up at 4:30 when Mum came back. I heard Chester barking.

Anyway, we set off about 6 and Mum and Dad seemed weird. They were eyeing Lee closely when he was taking my bag to the car and Dad embarrassingly had to say ‘Look after Casey.’ No, he’s gonna drown me after subjecting my body and soul to endless hours of necrofilia! Man….lame. Tediously lame.

Freedom!

We bombed it down the motorway with some great tunes blasting out, although Joel likes his indie stuff more than rock and metal and we kept digging him for that. He kept trying to play us some 90s bands like…er…I can’t remember…Inspiral Carpets? eh something like that, and Primal Scream. Those two are the only ones I remember. I’m not that into it, but I like one particular track:

It kinda encompasses the mood of the whole weekend!

So it was a 4 hour car drive but it went really fast, we were all enjoying ripping the shit out of Joel and his bizarre indie tastes! We pulled up outside the student house in Tottenham. It was in a square with a fucked up church in the middle, all overgrown. The house loomed over us like a gothic cloud. Four stories of pure shambles. I loved it. The front door was up a flight of stone steps that had worn away over the years. There were still those mosaic tiles in the entrance, some of them had fallen off and lay crumbled on the floor, some others had been kicked into the front ‘garden’. It was amazing inside, one bedroom at the front, Chloe’s (but she was at work) and then through the long corridor the kitchen and the rickety old wooden stairs. Lee’s room is on the third floor with Joel’s and Annabitch has got the attic. There are two bathroom, one on Lee’s level and one toilet downstairs.

I went straight to Lee’s room to put my bags in there. Claimed! Annabitch didn’t seem to be around. Good. I hoped she didn’t appear at all. Of course she did, but I digress.

It was cold and dark so we all congregated in the kitchen with the massive old wooden table that had a broken leg and thy had put a couple of magazines under the foot to balance it. The table was the only object in that kitchen that didn’t have things strewn all over it. Pans, plates, food, bread, wine bottles….all over the worktops. Oh I wished I lived there! The table was clean and only had a candle in the middle of it in a big cut glass pink plate that contained loads of bits of paper. Apparently that is where they put messages to each other. On the top was a torn in half sticky note that said ‘Buy bread you twats, love Joel’ on it. Ha.

We had toast, so someone had bought the bread, and then we went into the living room which was on the other side of the kitchen area. A massive sofa, two tatty but oh so comfy looking armchairs, a huge patchwork rug that had holes in, a massive wall length bookcase FULL of books and art stuff and a flat screen TV. Apparently Joel’s.

We all sat there and got slowly pissed. I was tired but so happy and kind of surreal. I was away from my Nazis and in this massive bohemian palace, the sound of traffic outside, rushing by, police sirens wailing every so often, people outside laughing and shouting. It was ALIVE.

We went up to bed soooo late. Me and Lee just snuggled under the duvet and fell into long blissful sleep. I woke up a few times with a headache but couldn’t remember where the hell the bathroom was so just went back to sleep, Lee clinging to me. The single bad was cosy, man. I miss it.

We woke up at about 10am and I felt like shit. Lee went and got us some water, coffee and toast.. It was ace to sit up in bed and watch silly stuff on TV while we ate and laughed. Joel kept tapping on our door but Lee warned him away and he pushed a note under the door to call us ass clowns. Nice. Hahaha.

I had a shower. While I was in there I heard Lee talking to someone outside the door, saying that I was in there. A girl’s voice I recognised, Annabitch was there. I didn’t want to see that fucking bitch, so listened outside the door til she had gone and slipped back into the haven of Lee’s room.

Later on we went for a walk around Tottenham and then caught the tube into Camden Market, I had been there before with Dad, but it was even cooler than I remembered. Lee bought me a cool American Indian type tshirt with a symbol of freedom on it. I bought some rings and bracelets. I gave one to Lee, it looked good on him, Bronze with celtic patterns on.

We went to get a snack in a pub called The Hawley Arms. Awesome vegetarian and vegan options. Joel started taking the piss out of me and Lee but however hard he tried, he couldn’t catch me out. I have spent too many years arguing my points with ignorant twats! He LOST badly!

Me and Lisa had all day tube tickets and the guys had Oyster Cards so we decided to go to a few places around the centre, but not Oxford Street or any heaving nightmare places. We went to Atlantis European in Whitehall, which is like a MASSIVE artist’s emporium of delights! Lee needed some supplies and I bought a few odds and ends too. We then found an exquisite old market and I bought a gorgeous indian blouse for 50p!

I took some cracking photos in Whitechapel. I googled all the places where Jack the Ripper’s victims were found. Joel thought I was grim. I thought he was a douche. Hahaha. We went in the art gallery but we didn’t rate the stuff hanging in there.

Our hangovers starting getting the better of us so we went back to Tottenham. The walk from the tube station seemed soooooooooo long. Lee said that London is the most tiring city EVER to live in. When you are tired, like most of the time, everything seems huge, crowded and too far away. I get that but I still love it.

We slept for a bit when we got back. I saw Annabitch in the kitchen and she tried a smile. I didn’t bother cos I’m not a hypocrite. Chloe joined us in the living room. She seemed ok, quiet but sweet. Maybe a bit too sickly sweet for me. Annabelle sat in for a while and glared at me when she thought no one was looking her way. Lee went out when she did and they were talking in the kitchen. Awkward. Lisa tried to keep me talking until Lee came back. Distracting me?

Then we planned our moves for the evening. The guys discussed which pubs would be best and nearest. Our tube tickets lasted up til midnight but obviously we would be out later. We decided to get a cab back, but not go too far. Taxi are heaped up expensive apparently. Annabelle declared she wanted to come out with us which apart from pissing me off no end, made it difficult as we would need 2 taxis. Chloe managed to persuade her to stay in and watch some DVDs with her. Thanks Chloe! Chloe seems to sense how I feel about her.

So we got ready. I wore black. Lee loved my look. I loved Lee’s look. I could have stayed in and ravished him but the plan was to go out….hahaha.

So to shorten this part of the story. I got pissed as a fart AGAIN and posted some stupid shit on facebook via my phone while in the toilet of The Crobar in Tottenham, Lisa threw up in there and missed the loo bowl. Foul. But funny.

We also went to Garlic and Shots which is a goth/metal/rock pub like The Crowbar. Amazing. Of course Joel wanted to go to some Indie pubs but there weren’t any around there apart from The Good Ship but it was heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaving.

I don’t remember much of the rest! Just Lee telling me to stop smoking so many fags and Lee getting a bit pissed off with a guy who was trying to look too closely at my pentagram, LOL! I don’t know who I was smoking with but I must have been outside as it’s clearly forbidden inside pubs. I had loads of tobacco left on sunday so someone must have given me their fags. Joel? Maybe.

Sunday. Well. It was hell to wake up to but we found a cure and didn’t surface from the bed room until about 2pm when we had food and a shower, needing to get sorted so that Joel could take us back later on. And the rest you’all can imagine. The deathly blanket of silence as we left the tangle and hustle of London and back into the slow twirl of the countryside and the quiet. Boring. Listless. Lonely…………

What a weekend. I have felt dead since I got back here. I see Lee’s room on Skype and it feels nice that I have spent time in there, like it’s now OUR room, but frankly I AM NOT THERE so it SUCKS. 😦

Yay! Another weekend in London is on the cards and Lee wants me to go with Lisa. I brought the subject up last night with M&D and they were silent at first. Mum was washing pots and Dad sat there in the kitchen. Mum just turned round, glanced at me blankly and then at dad and said ‘ What do you think?’

Dad looked at me and sighed. I asked what the problem was, innocently of course, and he said there was nothing wrong, just that it was a long way to go for two days. I explained that Lee and Joel would come and stay over Thursday night and we would go Friday after college. I told them that Lisa was going and that she would stay in Lee’s room and I would be in with Chloe, Lee’s friend. Dad was like, ‘I hope you won’t be drinking and smoking all weekend’ and Mum just cut in and said ‘This is Lee we are talking about, Theo.’

I CAN GO!!!! My wonderful, sexy, mature, boyfriend swung the deal! They think light rays shine out of his ass, which they actually DO and that he is trustworthy enough to look after me. Dad phoned Lee’s Mum and she confirmed that she was fine with it as Lee is ‘extremely responsible and protective of Lisa as he is of Casey.’ Ha!

I’M FUCKING GOING TO LONDON!! Lee is totally made up and his cheeky, grinning face on Skype has just FLAWED me!

Too excited to fruckin write anymore. Plus I’ve got to get tons of college work done before Thursday…….cos the weekend is gonna be ONE BIG FAT MUTHAFUKING PARTY.

Well, more like me and Lee hibernating for two days in his room.  *SMILE*

2014 so far….

January 12, 2014

I haven’t blogged since before New Year, in fact I haven’t blogged THIS year at all. Sounds so bad.

I left all my college work til last minute and when Lee left last weekend I had to get it all done. In one day. Feeling SHITBALLS about life as I usually do after he has gone. I went back to college for one day and then started (well, continued) to feel like shit and dad said I had a virus. Then I started chucking chunks. It was vile. I have been off this whole week, just curled up in bed between hurling into a bowl on the floor and visiting the loo. Just fucking hideous.

There’s not really much to write about, well nothing exciting at least. I had a perfect time with Lee. He came back from his Dad’s the day after boxing day and wasn’t in a great mood, but that’s understandable. He spent some time with his mum after that but kept coming back at night. I had my period (yeh, thanks for that. GREAT TIMING) so it was no sex but he still wanted to sleep in the same bad as me and cuddle up. Result. Stella’s boyfriend doesn’t stay with her when she’s on so I feel blessed that lee sees me as more than a shag at night. I just LOVE waking up all tangled with him. He’s got really hairy legs and it feels weird but I have got used to it hahaha.

download

We had another blue about me not wanting to tell my parents. I think I mentioned that my Nan somehow found out that Lee was in my room? She left me a note in one of my jacket pockets saying that she knew about ‘the boy’ and that she wouldn’t tell M&D but that I should be really careful. We’ve already been through the pregnancy scare once so we are both more aware of that possibility. I told him that it’s not long before I (hopefully) get accepted on the foundation course in London so we can be together. I just HAVE to get into Uni in London. What if I don’t? It’s not worth thinking about. My first choice is St Martin’s, not because lee is there, but it’s the best one in my opinion. My second and third choices are Chelsea and Kingston. I have applied already and I have to get at least a B in each of my A level subjects to get into St Martins. This is why I am freaking out most of the time and spend all my time working! I managed to persuade Dad to let me go to London to do my Art Foundation because there are NO foundations courses close by around here and because I have done A levels, that’s the next step before my Degree. Lee did it differently, I think he did BTEC so he could go straight to London and start his Degree.

I just can’t wait to get away from here, even though I love it for the serenity, lack of humans and woods and nature. I need to meet cool people, be with Lee, stop all this insane jealousy about Annabelle, and be in a place that inspires me and lets me be Casey.

I listened a lot to Lee playing guitar this holiday. I really want to learn but when he tried to teach me I screamed like a dick cos it really hurt my fingers! Here’s a GIF I made of him playing. I did it on Photoshop.

tumblr_mt8clbLKsM1sd7uwbo1_500

So tomorrow it’s back to the grindstone and the rat race. Fuck it. The one positive is that I’ll be starting driving lessons on Tuesday evening and the sooner I get my licence, the sooner I get a car and the sooner I’ll be able to motor on down to London whenever I feel the fuck like it. I would set off at about 11pm, drive for about 3 hours cos there wouldn’t be anyone on the motorways at that time really, and get to London at about 2am….spend a divine few hours in bed with Lee and then drive home by about 8am and get ready for college. Then die at about 2pm that day from being trashed! So what, Fuck it.

QadITiR

Oh forgot to tell youz. One of the prezzies Lee gave ‘us’ for Christmas was this cute pillowcase set. He has taken one with him though so we are both sleeping on them.

3t118_ip_1

So ….dinner time for me now. Uggh I still feel a bit queazy. Oh well. I can’t stand the thought of anymore fucking soup. Vomtastic. I wish I could drink copious amounts of wine to get me through to February half term. So fucking LONG. Amber Leaf, red wine and Chester.

th (1) th keep-calm-and-drink-wine

hair casey pink

~C~

At last! At fucking last! lee is coming home…..

I have been here, waiting for his return, in desperate, shitty, depressing, hollow limbo for a week. WTF. I don’t know how I am still alive.

He had to find someone to replace him at the bar he works at (if he wanted to go back to that job in the new year, which he does cos it’s his only income) and find someone to stay at the house over the holidays as the landlord lives in Japan. A bit far to come and check up on it then? It’s in quite a rough area in North London so there needs to be someone there at all times ideally. He has stayed before and the landlord let him off the rent for that holiday period. Quite a good deal but not NOW. I think he said Cloe was staying and her brother is coming over from Portugal for Christmas to stay there with her. Weird. Lee wasn’t happy about her staying there even one night on her own, but she insisted. I think it would be fucking cool in a big Victorian 4 storey place, all alone, dodgy area, barricaded in! But then I am a little bit fucked up. Or a lot.

Yeh so he is setting off around 6pm and will be here about 10pm…………………………………YEEEEEEEEES!

I have managed to save up 30 quid out of my allowance to buy him something cool for Chrimbo even though he told me not to. I’ll try and persuade M&D to ‘allow’ me to take him into town tomorrow and buy him something. The fricking ‘grounding’ has not yet ceased even though it’s CHRISTMAS, the season of good will and all that crap. Fucking great parents. I really hope they ease off because I will have to tell Lee why I can’t go out with him and Joel and Lisa…because I am grounded for having smokes in my bag!

He will not be impressed.

So I have been just literally moping around. My Aunt has tried to motivate me to add stuff to The Silent Angels website, but I have been lacking motivation. Totally. I wanted to sort out my clothes but I haven’t, well today I managed to put them all away, which is a fucking miracle. That’s only cos I found out last night when Lee was coming and it cheered me up. Pulled me out of my scrooge-like existence.

Have caught up on sleep (I hope Lee has as well cos I intend to keep him up all night, every night, haha) and half cleaned out my room from a term’s worth of crap accumulated. Papers, art work, paint, books, old makeup pallets…carrier bags of rubbish, dirty clothes, broken jewellery needing to be mended…oh the list is endless. At least it’s clean. I intend to aromatherapise it up (is that a word???) and arrange all my candles near the bed area in anticipation of a few hot nights of ‘pash’ coming up VERY soon! Oh I am going to rip the clothes off that scrummy body of his. Phwooooooooooooooooooor!

What else have I done? Been to work at the surgery. Boring as shit Saturday mornings. No one calls much or comes in. I sit and fiddle with my phone. Stare at the clock, text Lee, text Dim, text Stella. Make out my grocery list for ASDAs. Look forward to my weekly shop with Mum. Not. At. All. Grumpy cow.

Pops and Nan are coming on Tuesday. Good job they are deaf, not be awful, but they are staying in one of the guest rooms that’s near my stairs that come up to the attic so they potentially might hear mine and Lee’s night time ‘pursuits’. Nah. They go to sleep at about 9pm bless them.

I have read Book number 3 of The Beautiful Dead series and it was chuffin awesome. The fourth is the last one where Darina gets to solve Phoenix’s murder. I am intrigued by how it’s going to end cos after she has solved Phoenix’s, it’s the last one and she’ll never see him again. Ooo it’s a bit of a heartstring tugger and I don’t usually get soppy about books.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7877758-phoenix

I love the covers:

BD1   
BD2


      BD3

phoenix

 

 

 

So it’s tea time for me. I bought some quorn pies yesterday that look amazing. So I will eat the mash tates that mum is making and have some green beans and carrots as well. Gotta go down and help Mum and try and wangle my way around her so she lets me go out tomorrow…..

This is what I crave…..

this is all I want

So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.

So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.

Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.

Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.

Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.

one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.

Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!

Here’s the link to the blog:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/

I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.

This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:

For college:

casey college college casey long cardies like this

jacket

For going out (when I’m not grounded…)

casey now going out style

I would like to be wearing:

grunge 1 prefered 2 prefered 3 prefered

I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…

I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.

Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..

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Going out, baby..GOING OUT!

October 25, 2013

Lee’s taking me out, oh Lee’s taking me out…oh Lee, Lee, Lee. HE IS TAKING ME OUT!

Yeh, so Joel has gone back to London and Lee is going to get taken back by his Mum on Sunday night. I think Lisa and Joel are an ITEM because I went round there today and they were all cozied up on the sofa, clearly more than friends. I asked Lee and he raised his eyebrow in that SEXY way he does when he’s not sure about something or he thinks something’s dodgy as fuck, and then smiled. He was like, Oh man Joel! JOEL and my SISTER? I think he’s cool  with it though. I wonder how cool Marie is? Lisa is the same age as me (nearly 18) and Joel’s lee’s age, 20, nearly 20.

I made lunch for him today and then we took Chester out for a long long walk in the woods where we met. We made out bigtime in our clearing and we almost went way too far. It was freezing cold and wet, but we nearly did. I really missed his soft but manly guitar playing artist’s hands and his warm soft lips…..grrrrr! Then we stumbled back home and found that M&D were OUT so we spent a scrummy couple of hours upstairs carrying on from where we left off in the woods….yummy yum yum yum. We managed to get ourselves showered and dressed, downstairs drinking coffee when the Nazis got home.

Lee told me that one of his old mates from college is playing in his band tonight and he wants us to go. It’s in a pub, not a massive gig, but it’ll be fantasmagoria! I think it’s called ‘Leatherblack’. heavy metal. I can’t wait.

So, we’re catching the bus into town in like….20 minutes so I’ve got to post this and get going. Getting a taxi back to HERE later on. I’ll try not to drink too much else I’ll just get home and crash with no yummy yumzi with Lee…I have to make the most of it while I can! Getting drunk v sex with lee? No comparison!

Oh he’s here. I think I look ok. My hair is a bit flat, but I love the colour at the moment. Pale blue pastel. I found a nice new eyeliner as well and it looks ace with my hair. Just wearing black skinnies and a black lacey blouse with cut out shoulders and my Docs. Ready to go! Just another squirt of my Black XS perfumio and my skull scarf and faux leather jacket and…..I’m off!

Laterz!

~C~

My Aunt is here at the moment. It’s half term and that means I have a whole week of getting up late and lazing around. Except that I can’t because I’ve got an EXTORTIONATE amount of college work to do as well as fulfilling my ‘promise’ to Dad of working at the surgery in the mornings. Beginning bastard tomorrow. Goodbye lye ins……:(

So back to stuff. My Aunt is here, the cool one who I share my blog with. I don’t know why we still share it but it’s fine. Yeh I have been hanging out with her since Friday and we’ve been talking about a bunch of stuff including Mum and Dad. They really piss me off. I am living like a frickin hermit here. She agrees with me that life is shit-on-a-stick for a 17 year old..nearly 18, but the thing is what can I do when I’ve got another year of A levels to do…? She offered to give me a place to stay at hers with her boyfriend but I wouldn’t have my own space and it would be too far to travel to my 6th form. Plus the college near her doesn’t do my Theatre Studies A level so I wouldn’t be able to transfer there. You reckon my M&D would let me move away? Pfffffffffffffffff no fucking way while the moon is round…

The worst scenario right now is with Lee. Apart from the OBVIOUS that he’s NOT here and it’s half term, he and Annabelle are plotting stuff. Well, there are three of them, him, Annabitchface and Chloe who are buddies in the Halls of residence near his Uni. They are all on the Fine Art Course so they hang out etc. lee’s best mates are on the Film and Animation Course at the same Uni but they live in a house quite a long way from Lee. Now apparently there are two spare rooms in this house up for rent and Lee has suggested that to make the whole dealio cheaper, those three should move in with his buddies. There’s a huge room with two double beds in it and an en suit and another single room. Annafuckingslut wants her and Lee to live in there!!!!!!!

You absolute BITCH.

I mentioned that Chloe wanted to Skype with me, well she has been texting me while she gets her laptop so we have been getting to know each other. She can’t stand Annabellend either! She finds her arrogant, snobbish and nasty. Ha! She told me that A has a way with lee, like she behaves nice in front of him but as soon as he leaves or she’s not with him, she turns nasty. She, Chloe, has suggested to Lee that Annabelle has the single room and her and him share the big one. Thing is that A’s parents are rich and pay for everything. I reckon she’s got a credit card so she can buy anything she wants on them. It would make sense for her to have her own room so that Chloe can help lee out with the rent for their room. I don’t know Chloe that well, but I would rather he share with her than Annabelle. PLUS, Chloe has brilliantly pointed out that my parents would feel better about me sleeping in that shared room with her and Lee than just with lee. (As if Chloe would stay there though….no no no we have already discussed that as Chloe has got another flat that we can stay in or she can stay in! MY PARENT DON’T KNOW WE ARE TOGETHER so if I wanted to go to London it would be all above board! (in their eyes until I get there haha!) Plus they think that Annabelle is Lee’s girlfriend (makes puking gestures) so it’s all covered for future fun and games!

So yes. Where the sweet fuck is my beautiful, sexy boyfriend? Still in pigging London that’s where. WORKING. As usual I am the last person in his life to know what’s going on. As in the summer, he has to think about his job in the bar, his Mum and sister desperately missing him, his Dad, (who he is still properly raging at) wanting to see him and ME. Yes. His secret lover who remains in the background. FUCK. The last thing we spoke about was that he might be able to come here on Wednesday until Monday. Let’s fucking hope so.

I wish I could just pack a bag and go go go to London right NOW. Fuck college work and working for my Dad. But no. Sensible Casey says she needs driving lessons and to get her work done so she can finish college and get THE SWEET FUCK out of here…..that’s what being with Lee has done to me! I’m all about the sensible. Well, sometimes…….

………….until I talk to DIMITRIS! He is threatening to come here. He doesn’t want to go back to Greece this half term without me and says that he can’t stand it, he misses me and wants to meet up. My parents agree that he can..yes because his parents are friends with my Grand YIAYIA and PAPOUS! Can you believe this shit………..what do I do? If Lee doesn’t come and Lee does, i don’t know if I can trust myself to NOT do something nuts like kiss him or sleep with him. If Lee does come (please please any God or Goddess who is listening…) then how can I have two guys who I adore, for different reasons, in the same vicinity and feel ok about it?

Me to Lee: Yes so this is Dimitri who I met in Thessaloniki and lives next door to my Grandparents and goes to Manchester Uni and who I find monstrously attractive in the sense that he’s crazy, rebellious and free spirited…like you are not………….

Me to Dimitri: Yeh, so this is Lee who I fell head over heels in love with last year because he’s so cute, loving, loyal and sensible, all the stuff that you and I are not and that makes him my polar opposite…as well as being drop dead gorgeous and sexy, as he’s the one I lost my virginity to…..and would stick by me through WW3 unlike you Dimitri…..

*SHOCK*

Hmmmm………….

I am in a shitter of a dilemma. As usual. I will be back later. Right now me and Aunty S are going to cook our vegetarian roast dinner to eat with M&D.

Laterz ………..oh I will be up here with S drinking beer. At least for a few days we’ve got a car to go out in and go buy stuff………….just to breathe.

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