London, baby!

August 21, 2014

It’s been an age since I posted, mainly because I have been bombing it this summer, including spending every waking second I can with the scrum-bum Lee-face! And I got my A level results.

I’m in! I’m going to London to do my Art Foundation Course!

I wanted to write and let everyone (all 3 of you that read my blog hahaha) that I’m still alive, very very much so, and what’s going on. This weekend, well tomorrow specifically, I am going to the capital of AWESOME with Mum, Dad and Lee and we are going to check out the house, you know the one that Lee lives in (The Feral house as it has been named. I have an incline as to why and I can’t wait to find out more) because they’ve got a spare room. Ok, so we all know that I won’t be spending A SINGLE night sleeping in any spare box room, but M&D don’t know and if M&D knew? Well let’s just say, SHIT and FAN, and lots of it cascading off!

I know,I know. I’m 18 and shouldn’t let them control me, but what choice do I have? There’s no way until hell freezes over and I give birth to Brenden Urie’s love children, that they would pay rent for me to stay with Lee. I mean if they knew we were together. So I play them to get what I want. Lee’s still riding my ass to tell them, but I won’t. He’s freaking out cos he’s like, ‘Oh Case, they’re going to buy you a new bed and stuff, which you’ll never need, it’s a waste.’ Ok then, what would you prefer? Me living in some Halls miles away that they have to pay through the nose for? I mean this rent for the house is a pittance compared to any rent for Halls. It’s got 5 massive double rooms and this single room which they use for junk. They all pitch in and pay the rent monthly which is something like £1200. It’s a run down old Victorian so it’s cheaper than normal. That divided by 6 of us? Bargain. For London prices it’s ridiculous!

M&D are all stressing about it saying how can I live in a tiny box room when I’m used to the attic space I’ve got here. I just said that you know, London’s a huge city. I’d rather spend my first year there around familiar faces and plus the fact Dad’s got another 3 years after my Foundation to fork out for me. That seemed to sedate them, but we’re going tomorrow so they can check it out and Lee’s going to get rid of all the crap in there so Dad can measure up for my bed. Hahaha. It’s just going to be an extra space for me, maybe to do my art. Lee’s really tidy, so it’s better to avoid any screaming matches by having my messy space and letting him do his unmessy art in ‘our’ room. OUR FUCKING ROOM! How cool is this?????

I don’t know how I’m going to handle the Annabitch situation, but at least I’ll be able to keep my beady eye on her better from up close!

Mum’s stressing me to start packing what stuff I want to take, but I’m too excited…

Meanwhile, in normal life, I am still having driving lessons but I don’t know if I’ll be able to take my test before I leave. Bummer. Lee says that it’ll be a nightmare bringing a car to London anyway as there’s nowhere to park it outside the house and it’s a dodgy area so my insurance premium would go sky high. He reckons the tube is the best for students anyway. He gets to travel around for next to nowt with his student oyster card. Sorted!

So I just can’t wait to be a weird, freak of an Art student in LONDON! This is like a fucking dream come true! I wish I could take Chester but no pets allowed. Chloe’s got a cat in her room but the landlord doesn’t know. I think a barking dog would cause a stir. Plus there’s only a scraggy overgrown garden (that slopes upwards, how creepy) and Lee reckons it could have any chemical crap in it cos there’s old paint pots and shit littered around. I don’t want Chester getting his paws on that!

I’ll be back at Christmas anyway..

I hope I’ll find time to blog once I’m there. I will try. It’s going to be hella different from being here all on my tod every day and night! I have loved this blog, but I guess I have used it as a convenience for my lonely rantings. I don’t imagine I’ll be lonely any more!

Ok. lunchtime. Lee’s coming in a while and we’re going to start making a list of what I’ll need. OH MY DAYS! LONDON!

gif-london-places-uk-Favim.com-372820

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Yeh so not a lot going down on the life front.

Hence my none committal blogging habit that I’ve recently developed.

College. College. College. College.

So what’s the same?

  • still passionately and vomtastically in love with Lee-face.
  • I still love/hate living in the middle of rural Lincolnshire like a disease-ridden hermit. I will wake up one morning and find someone has painted a massive X on my door. Plague resides here. Do not enter. Social disease!
  • Lisa sometimes comes round and hangs but we haven’t got a lot in common. Just her sexy brother and her pseudo-love of rock music.
  • Chester is my only friend.
  • Dimitri is a second contender for the ‘sexy as hell boys I know’ contest. He’s currently dating his next failure. I give it two weeks max.
  • College is dull and pointless. Oh except for the fact that I need the A Levels. Darn.
  • People at college are twats. Except Spencer. He’s ok. Not sexy at all though, so it makes it easier to be his friend.
  • Parents are annoying the hell out of me. Can’t wait for September.
  • driving lessons are wicked. I drive like a serpent.

So what’s different?

  • Apart from fuck-all? Fuck-all………..
  • my hair is purple.
  • my aunt and I finished the second chapter (draft 1). read here:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/chapter-2-first-draft/

  • she has designed a front cover. It’s full of creepy awesomeness. Look here:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/the-silent-angels-book-cover-muse/

  • I am listening to this……

I prom that I’ll try and write more as soon as work eases up a bit. Too much for my brain to absorb……….

for front cover silent angels 4

 

Hahaha!

I’m just in the process of getting my scrubby self gussed up. He arrived at about 4pm with Joel again and is, as I speak, spending some time with Mum and Lisa. He’s coming here after dinner and we are gonna stop in tonight, ALONE as M&D are off out. I don’t know if they realise that Lee isn’t coming with Lisa and Joel. Oh well, not my fault they didn’t ask. I think Joel is stopping in Lincolnshire for the whole half term so I hope we don’t have to hang out with them all the time! Sorry, but this is mine and Lee’s ‘space’, the woods and the graveyard. I doubt that Joel will be particularly bothered about exploring the local ‘tourist’ attractions, ha! He’s a definite city boy and is used to going clubbing and out all the time drinking. Welcome to ‘No man’s (or woman’s) land’, where the drinks are bought when you go into town and stored away behind wardrobes until the next time you can go into town and ASDAs and sneak some more in. I’ve got really good at it, doing it without Mum seeing.

I think I’ve got a bottle of Vodka and two bottles of red wine left. Thing is, if we MUST hang out with Joel and Lisa, at least Joel can drive us around and we might be able to persuade him to take us into town for a night out. I say yay to that!

Before I forget, I want to post the photos taken in London. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget and then have others to post from this week, so here goes:

c and l - Copy

Selfie~ it shows Lee’s cute as pie freckles

case and lee

Me and Lee~ can’t wait for more of this!

casey and lisa

Me and Lisa more than half cut in The Crowbar

casey woods

We went for a walk on Sunday to try and clear our heads. I felt like ass

lee and lisa

Lee and Lisa. They are always doing stuff like this and goofing.

possible lee and casey change hair shade

Joel thinks he can play guitar but he really couldn’t. Lisa’s effort was better with one hand.

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Lisa and Joel as pissed as.

Oh my God! I had better go and get my dinner sorted. I think it’s gonna be spaghetti. I got some quorn mince and marinated it last night in my tomato and garlic spesh, so it should be scrum. I might feed Lee some later on and then he can eat ME for dessert. Oh my days. I fucking love his ass. I’ve dyed my hair again, it’s really purple! I hope he likes it. He was into the pastel bluey colour but that washed out really fast. Notice in the photos I just had normal hair colour. boooooooooooooooooooring!

I’m outta here!

Tomorrow! I get to squidge my Lee. I get to go in the car with him all the way to London huddled up on the back seat. Then we get to sleep in the same bed TWICE without having to set dumbass irritating alarms so he has to get up and avoid my parents. No. We will wake up when WE want to. May not even get out of bed on Saturday. Note to self REMEMBER TO SWITCH LAPTOP OFF BEFORE LEAVING TOMORROW NIGHT or else someone (mum!) will ‘accidently’ come into my room and see skype on which is directed at Lee’s bed. I will be in it. I will be crucified and hung. Lee will be banned from my house. I will not have the desire to exist anymore.

Good times!

I have packed my best stuff to wear and most of my toiletries are ready. Just got some stuff to do for Theatre Studies like a few sketches for a tutorial on Monday. This is my idea for a scene of a play that we are going to put on as a group. I am doing the scenes and the others; Trudy, Mark and Kishan are writing it.

images (10)

Also the conclusion to my Lit essay on  Maya Angelou’s Passing Time (which I love)

Your skin Like dawn

Mine like musk

One paints the beginning
of a certain end.

The other, the end of a
sure beginning

Anyways, why am I on about college? Jesus. I am SO looking forward to London. I have got about £70 for two days but I know Lee won’t want to drink that much and he won’t want me smoking in his room, so really I guess we’ll go to the Union bar and maybe the cinema. oh and takeout, which we never get at home cos no takeout place will deliver so far into the depths of frickin NOWHERE lol.

Oh man. I can’t believe it! I won’t want to come back will I?

I might have to slap Annabitch as well. It WAS her who switched off Skype. Lee is well fucked off with that cow. Apparently she apologised profusely to him and he asked her why but she couldn’t give a reason. I know though. Bitch tried to stop us from talking. Well, oh look you FUCKING mentalist, we are STILL talking and in love and going to spend the weekend together! You can keep your goth face OUT of Lee’s room and your face will remain away from my face unless you want it slapping more than once!!!!

Hahahahaha. Loser.

images (12)

So I got back home from college at about 4pm and as I always do, I grabbed a coffee from the kitchen and ran upstairs to get to talk with Lee on Skype before he goes to work at 5. But Skype was OFF.

As regular readers (if you exist) of my blog would know, we NEVER switch Skype off and we like to leave it on all the times, including when we sleep. Yes, it’s fucking lame in some people’s eyes, but to us it isn’t because we have to WAIT 6 weeks at a time to see each other in the flesh. Skype off? Fuck off, man. Something had to be very wrong.

I called Lee and he was just on the bus coming up to the stop near the house. I told him Skype was down and he laughed. I was like, NO the fucking thing is DOWN, and he said he would go investigate asap and call me if it was busted or something. 10 minutes later PING and it’s back and there he is, sitting at his desk. I was like, WTF? He said SOMEONE must have gone into his room and switched it off, but he couldn’t find anyone home. I know Chloe spends a lot of time in Lee’s room, but she doesn’t go in there without prior permission. Annabelle is not allowed in there. For this I don’t know, but I’m sure full of glee about it. They must have had words about something lately because for trusting Lee to forbid anyone in his room is unheard of. I think he has started locking it as well because I hear a lachy noise when I am sitting waiting for him and he comes in. None of them locked their doors before except Annabitch. She’s a fucked up mess.

I know it was her who switched Skype off. But why? What’s the damage, bitch? He’s just going to switch it back on you dumbskull.

Anyway we talked as usual and I asked him if it could have been Annabelle. He said possibly but he trusts her not to enter, they made a deal. Why? I ask. Because he gets tired of her invading his space and she follows him around the house. I KNEW IT! She SO wants him! I was a whole gigantic bunch of RIGHT when I suspected that. Fuck. She went in his room today and switched it off!

I then mentioned the fact that I think she’s in love with him and he was like, no case, she isn’t. WHAT? Men are so fucking naive! What the holy of holy fucks?!!!!

How can I prove that she went in his room? How? Help? Anyone?

images (5)

I have just found this. I am going to download it and record EVERYTHING. I will find out who is sabotaging our private time!

http://www.pamela.biz/en/

 

2014 so far….

January 12, 2014

I haven’t blogged since before New Year, in fact I haven’t blogged THIS year at all. Sounds so bad.

I left all my college work til last minute and when Lee left last weekend I had to get it all done. In one day. Feeling SHITBALLS about life as I usually do after he has gone. I went back to college for one day and then started (well, continued) to feel like shit and dad said I had a virus. Then I started chucking chunks. It was vile. I have been off this whole week, just curled up in bed between hurling into a bowl on the floor and visiting the loo. Just fucking hideous.

There’s not really much to write about, well nothing exciting at least. I had a perfect time with Lee. He came back from his Dad’s the day after boxing day and wasn’t in a great mood, but that’s understandable. He spent some time with his mum after that but kept coming back at night. I had my period (yeh, thanks for that. GREAT TIMING) so it was no sex but he still wanted to sleep in the same bad as me and cuddle up. Result. Stella’s boyfriend doesn’t stay with her when she’s on so I feel blessed that lee sees me as more than a shag at night. I just LOVE waking up all tangled with him. He’s got really hairy legs and it feels weird but I have got used to it hahaha.

download

We had another blue about me not wanting to tell my parents. I think I mentioned that my Nan somehow found out that Lee was in my room? She left me a note in one of my jacket pockets saying that she knew about ‘the boy’ and that she wouldn’t tell M&D but that I should be really careful. We’ve already been through the pregnancy scare once so we are both more aware of that possibility. I told him that it’s not long before I (hopefully) get accepted on the foundation course in London so we can be together. I just HAVE to get into Uni in London. What if I don’t? It’s not worth thinking about. My first choice is St Martin’s, not because lee is there, but it’s the best one in my opinion. My second and third choices are Chelsea and Kingston. I have applied already and I have to get at least a B in each of my A level subjects to get into St Martins. This is why I am freaking out most of the time and spend all my time working! I managed to persuade Dad to let me go to London to do my Art Foundation because there are NO foundations courses close by around here and because I have done A levels, that’s the next step before my Degree. Lee did it differently, I think he did BTEC so he could go straight to London and start his Degree.

I just can’t wait to get away from here, even though I love it for the serenity, lack of humans and woods and nature. I need to meet cool people, be with Lee, stop all this insane jealousy about Annabelle, and be in a place that inspires me and lets me be Casey.

I listened a lot to Lee playing guitar this holiday. I really want to learn but when he tried to teach me I screamed like a dick cos it really hurt my fingers! Here’s a GIF I made of him playing. I did it on Photoshop.

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So tomorrow it’s back to the grindstone and the rat race. Fuck it. The one positive is that I’ll be starting driving lessons on Tuesday evening and the sooner I get my licence, the sooner I get a car and the sooner I’ll be able to motor on down to London whenever I feel the fuck like it. I would set off at about 11pm, drive for about 3 hours cos there wouldn’t be anyone on the motorways at that time really, and get to London at about 2am….spend a divine few hours in bed with Lee and then drive home by about 8am and get ready for college. Then die at about 2pm that day from being trashed! So what, Fuck it.

QadITiR

Oh forgot to tell youz. One of the prezzies Lee gave ‘us’ for Christmas was this cute pillowcase set. He has taken one with him though so we are both sleeping on them.

3t118_ip_1

So ….dinner time for me now. Uggh I still feel a bit queazy. Oh well. I can’t stand the thought of anymore fucking soup. Vomtastic. I wish I could drink copious amounts of wine to get me through to February half term. So fucking LONG. Amber Leaf, red wine and Chester.

th (1) th keep-calm-and-drink-wine

hair casey pink

~C~

Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

20131226_181841

Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

At last! At fucking last! lee is coming home…..

I have been here, waiting for his return, in desperate, shitty, depressing, hollow limbo for a week. WTF. I don’t know how I am still alive.

He had to find someone to replace him at the bar he works at (if he wanted to go back to that job in the new year, which he does cos it’s his only income) and find someone to stay at the house over the holidays as the landlord lives in Japan. A bit far to come and check up on it then? It’s in quite a rough area in North London so there needs to be someone there at all times ideally. He has stayed before and the landlord let him off the rent for that holiday period. Quite a good deal but not NOW. I think he said Cloe was staying and her brother is coming over from Portugal for Christmas to stay there with her. Weird. Lee wasn’t happy about her staying there even one night on her own, but she insisted. I think it would be fucking cool in a big Victorian 4 storey place, all alone, dodgy area, barricaded in! But then I am a little bit fucked up. Or a lot.

Yeh so he is setting off around 6pm and will be here about 10pm…………………………………YEEEEEEEEES!

I have managed to save up 30 quid out of my allowance to buy him something cool for Chrimbo even though he told me not to. I’ll try and persuade M&D to ‘allow’ me to take him into town tomorrow and buy him something. The fricking ‘grounding’ has not yet ceased even though it’s CHRISTMAS, the season of good will and all that crap. Fucking great parents. I really hope they ease off because I will have to tell Lee why I can’t go out with him and Joel and Lisa…because I am grounded for having smokes in my bag!

He will not be impressed.

So I have been just literally moping around. My Aunt has tried to motivate me to add stuff to The Silent Angels website, but I have been lacking motivation. Totally. I wanted to sort out my clothes but I haven’t, well today I managed to put them all away, which is a fucking miracle. That’s only cos I found out last night when Lee was coming and it cheered me up. Pulled me out of my scrooge-like existence.

Have caught up on sleep (I hope Lee has as well cos I intend to keep him up all night, every night, haha) and half cleaned out my room from a term’s worth of crap accumulated. Papers, art work, paint, books, old makeup pallets…carrier bags of rubbish, dirty clothes, broken jewellery needing to be mended…oh the list is endless. At least it’s clean. I intend to aromatherapise it up (is that a word???) and arrange all my candles near the bed area in anticipation of a few hot nights of ‘pash’ coming up VERY soon! Oh I am going to rip the clothes off that scrummy body of his. Phwooooooooooooooooooor!

What else have I done? Been to work at the surgery. Boring as shit Saturday mornings. No one calls much or comes in. I sit and fiddle with my phone. Stare at the clock, text Lee, text Dim, text Stella. Make out my grocery list for ASDAs. Look forward to my weekly shop with Mum. Not. At. All. Grumpy cow.

Pops and Nan are coming on Tuesday. Good job they are deaf, not be awful, but they are staying in one of the guest rooms that’s near my stairs that come up to the attic so they potentially might hear mine and Lee’s night time ‘pursuits’. Nah. They go to sleep at about 9pm bless them.

I have read Book number 3 of The Beautiful Dead series and it was chuffin awesome. The fourth is the last one where Darina gets to solve Phoenix’s murder. I am intrigued by how it’s going to end cos after she has solved Phoenix’s, it’s the last one and she’ll never see him again. Ooo it’s a bit of a heartstring tugger and I don’t usually get soppy about books.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7877758-phoenix

I love the covers:

BD1   
BD2


      BD3

phoenix

 

 

 

So it’s tea time for me. I bought some quorn pies yesterday that look amazing. So I will eat the mash tates that mum is making and have some green beans and carrots as well. Gotta go down and help Mum and try and wangle my way around her so she lets me go out tomorrow…..

This is what I crave…..

this is all I want

So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.

So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.

Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.

Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.

Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.

one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.

Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!

Here’s the link to the blog:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/

I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.

This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:

For college:

casey college college casey long cardies like this

jacket

For going out (when I’m not grounded…)

casey now going out style

I would like to be wearing:

grunge 1 prefered 2 prefered 3 prefered

I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…

I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.

Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..

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BORED!

I really can’t cope.

I mean, I should be happy, right? I said not so long ago that if only me and Lee were together I would be ok, fuck that he is 100s of miles away. So why can’t I go back to that innocent time?

It’s dull. I am sitting here on my (unmade) bed, laptop on my knees, looking out the window at the cold cold evening that has just drawn in and covered me in darkness.

Mum and Dad are not speaking to me. What’s new? Well, because we had a row about driving lessons and me working in the surgery at weekends.

I DON’T WANT TO!

I have got sooooooooo much college work to do, I still have to do all my own cooking, shopping and cleaning (pffff) and it’s HARD and dull. All I want to do is sit and skype with Lee and Dimitri, lay there reading a book while Lee works on his art work…or watch movies online together.

Look at my room. It’s MASSIVE. I actually did clear it up and it looks really spacious but it’s freaking me out. Too tidy. I cant see my stuff kicking around on the floor. It looks cold and unlived in.

The bathroom is getting more and more freaky by the way. While Lee was here most nights, I didn’t see or hear anything, but since he’s gone back, I hear weird low level humming and I SWEAR a voice humming and singing…I can almost make out words….it’s a girl. I know it. I want to know who she is and why her spirit is still lingering here, around me.

Yeh so the condition is if I want driving lessons I have to work at the fucking surgery with Dad on my back all morning. What the hell. Then because I have to caj a lift off mum to go to ASDAs foodfuckingshopping, that means that I will finish at 12:30 and go straight home, grab a sandwich and go straight out with mum. I have to tag along and wait for her to shop and she goes around like, EVERYWHERE, getting bargains when I finished shopping an hour before. Could be at home talking to Lee. But no. Lee works Saturday nights as well so I don’t get to skype his sexy ass until 1am. That leaves Sunday when I have to do COLLEGE WORK. When does this leave me a frickin life?????

NEVER. EVER.

I am miserable.

I know I keep going the fuck on about her, but AnnabitchBelle is PISSING me off as well. Now I find out that no only did she take over HIS room during the summer while he was here, but she slept IN HIS BED and she is WORKING with Lee in Rock Retro, the student bar. FUUUUCK!!!

I know he doesn’t have feelings for her beyond platonic, but it still winds me right the hell up. I HAVE to get to London during half term. End of. Feeling jealous is simply NOT an option any more.

So what I am doing to take my mind off all this shit?

Reading!

I have just finished the 2nd book in the BEAUTIFUL DEAD series. ARIZONA. Ghostly, weird and raw.

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This is the blurb about the first one, called JONAS:

”Not alive. Not dead. Somewhere in between lie the Beautiful Dead …Something strange is happening in Ellerton High. Phoenix is the fourth teenager to die within a year. His street fight stabbing follows the deaths of Jonas, Summer and Arizona in equally strange and sudden circumstances. Rumours of ghosts and strange happenings rip through the small community as it comes to terms with shock and loss. Darina, Phoenix’s grief-stricken girlfriend, is on the verge. She can’t escape her intense heartache, or the impossible apparitions of those that are meant to be dead. And all the while the sound of beating wings echo inside her head… And then one day Phoenix appears to Darina. Ecstatic to be reunited, he tells her about the Beautiful Dead. Souls in limbo, they have been chosen to return to the world to set right a wrong linked to their deaths and bring about justice. Beautiful, superhuman and powerful, they are marked by a ‘death mark’ – a small tattoo of angel’s wings. Phoenix tells her that the sound of invisible wings beating are the millions of souls in limbo, desperate to return to earth.  Darina’s mission is clear: she must help Jonas, Summer, Arizona, and impossibly, her beloved Phoenix, right the wrong linked to their deaths to set them free from limbo so that they can finally rest in peace. Will love conquer death? And if it does, can Darina set it free?”

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Here’s the Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Dead-Jonas-v-ebook/dp/B003HVTH4O

Then this one.

shot_1379961773859I found it tucked away on the very bottom shelf of a charity shop, all yellowing and smelly. And it’s fantastic! It’s by the woman who wrote ‘The Spiderwick Chronicles’ and it’s really dark.

”Do you believe in faeries? Not the soft, gentle kind, but the sinister, feral kind – the ones that wreak havoc on everything in their path…Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother’s rock band, until an ominous attack forces them back to her childhood home. To the place where she used to see Faeries. They’re still there. But Kaye’s not a child anymore. This time she’s dragged into the thick of their dangerous, frightening world. A realm where black horses dwell beneath the sea, desperate to drown you…where the sinister Thistlewitch divines dark futures…and where beautiful faerie knights are driven to perform acts of brutal depravity for the love of their uncaring queens. Once there, Kaye finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms – a struggle that could end in her death…”
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Art wise I am so into these artists’ work right now……..

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HERAKUT!!

Ok, must click off and get this posted. Just seen Mr C sex man walk into his room, waving at me……