February 17, 2014
I’m just in the process of getting my scrubby self gussed up. He arrived at about 4pm with Joel again and is, as I speak, spending some time with Mum and Lisa. He’s coming here after dinner and we are gonna stop in tonight, ALONE as M&D are off out. I don’t know if they realise that Lee isn’t coming with Lisa and Joel. Oh well, not my fault they didn’t ask. I think Joel is stopping in Lincolnshire for the whole half term so I hope we don’t have to hang out with them all the time! Sorry, but this is mine and Lee’s ‘space’, the woods and the graveyard. I doubt that Joel will be particularly bothered about exploring the local ‘tourist’ attractions, ha! He’s a definite city boy and is used to going clubbing and out all the time drinking. Welcome to ‘No man’s (or woman’s) land’, where the drinks are bought when you go into town and stored away behind wardrobes until the next time you can go into town and ASDAs and sneak some more in. I’ve got really good at it, doing it without Mum seeing.
I think I’ve got a bottle of Vodka and two bottles of red wine left. Thing is, if we MUST hang out with Joel and Lisa, at least Joel can drive us around and we might be able to persuade him to take us into town for a night out. I say yay to that!
Before I forget, I want to post the photos taken in London. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget and then have others to post from this week, so here goes:
Selfie~ it shows Lee’s cute as pie freckles
Me and Lee~ can’t wait for more of this!
Me and Lisa more than half cut in The Crowbar
We went for a walk on Sunday to try and clear our heads. I felt like ass
Lee and Lisa. They are always doing stuff like this and goofing.
Joel thinks he can play guitar but he really couldn’t. Lisa’s effort was better with one hand.
Lisa and Joel as pissed as.
Oh my God! I had better go and get my dinner sorted. I think it’s gonna be spaghetti. I got some quorn mince and marinated it last night in my tomato and garlic spesh, so it should be scrum. I might feed Lee some later on and then he can eat ME for dessert. Oh my days. I fucking love his ass. I’ve dyed my hair again, it’s really purple! I hope he likes it. He was into the pastel bluey colour but that washed out really fast. Notice in the photos I just had normal hair colour. boooooooooooooooooooring!
I’m outta here!
January 12, 2014
I haven’t blogged since before New Year, in fact I haven’t blogged THIS year at all. Sounds so bad.
I left all my college work til last minute and when Lee left last weekend I had to get it all done. In one day. Feeling SHITBALLS about life as I usually do after he has gone. I went back to college for one day and then started (well, continued) to feel like shit and dad said I had a virus. Then I started chucking chunks. It was vile. I have been off this whole week, just curled up in bed between hurling into a bowl on the floor and visiting the loo. Just fucking hideous.
There’s not really much to write about, well nothing exciting at least. I had a perfect time with Lee. He came back from his Dad’s the day after boxing day and wasn’t in a great mood, but that’s understandable. He spent some time with his mum after that but kept coming back at night. I had my period (yeh, thanks for that. GREAT TIMING) so it was no sex but he still wanted to sleep in the same bad as me and cuddle up. Result. Stella’s boyfriend doesn’t stay with her when she’s on so I feel blessed that lee sees me as more than a shag at night. I just LOVE waking up all tangled with him. He’s got really hairy legs and it feels weird but I have got used to it hahaha.
We had another blue about me not wanting to tell my parents. I think I mentioned that my Nan somehow found out that Lee was in my room? She left me a note in one of my jacket pockets saying that she knew about ‘the boy’ and that she wouldn’t tell M&D but that I should be really careful. We’ve already been through the pregnancy scare once so we are both more aware of that possibility. I told him that it’s not long before I (hopefully) get accepted on the foundation course in London so we can be together. I just HAVE to get into Uni in London. What if I don’t? It’s not worth thinking about. My first choice is St Martin’s, not because lee is there, but it’s the best one in my opinion. My second and third choices are Chelsea and Kingston. I have applied already and I have to get at least a B in each of my A level subjects to get into St Martins. This is why I am freaking out most of the time and spend all my time working! I managed to persuade Dad to let me go to London to do my Art Foundation because there are NO foundations courses close by around here and because I have done A levels, that’s the next step before my Degree. Lee did it differently, I think he did BTEC so he could go straight to London and start his Degree.
I just can’t wait to get away from here, even though I love it for the serenity, lack of humans and woods and nature. I need to meet cool people, be with Lee, stop all this insane jealousy about Annabelle, and be in a place that inspires me and lets me be Casey.
I listened a lot to Lee playing guitar this holiday. I really want to learn but when he tried to teach me I screamed like a dick cos it really hurt my fingers! Here’s a GIF I made of him playing. I did it on Photoshop.
So tomorrow it’s back to the grindstone and the rat race. Fuck it. The one positive is that I’ll be starting driving lessons on Tuesday evening and the sooner I get my licence, the sooner I get a car and the sooner I’ll be able to motor on down to London whenever I feel the fuck like it. I would set off at about 11pm, drive for about 3 hours cos there wouldn’t be anyone on the motorways at that time really, and get to London at about 2am….spend a divine few hours in bed with Lee and then drive home by about 8am and get ready for college. Then die at about 2pm that day from being trashed! So what, Fuck it.
Oh forgot to tell youz. One of the prezzies Lee gave ‘us’ for Christmas was this cute pillowcase set. He has taken one with him though so we are both sleeping on them.
So ….dinner time for me now. Uggh I still feel a bit queazy. Oh well. I can’t stand the thought of anymore fucking soup. Vomtastic. I wish I could drink copious amounts of wine to get me through to February half term. So fucking LONG. Amber Leaf, red wine and Chester.
March 10, 2013
December 10, 2012
I just dried it and it looks awesome. I haven’t straightened it yet but this is what it looks like:
That’s exciting! I feel better already. More rebellious, weirder…less of a sheep!
Mum can freak out as much as she likes in the morning (and she really will!) but by the time she sees it, it’ll be too late! Ha!
So, Lee just called me. I think Lisa must have told him that I’m acting weird because he never usually calls til around 10pm. It was 8:00. He started out by begging me to send him a pic of my hair…which I will…*smile* and then he said that he wanted to talk to me about…..ANNABELLE. I won’t pretend, I almost had a heart attack right there but tried to keep my voice as normal as a squeaky mouse could be.
He said that he was sorry Lisa had got to tell me before he did and that he meant to tell me himself and he felt bad. That was the least of my concerns, but anyway. He then said that she might be coming to spend a few days with him over New Year to help with a group project they have to do. I thought I was going to die of fucking relief! Apparently there’s 5 of them in the group and it’s for a community project, but the other three live way down south and can’t meet up. They are going to do their bits and then discuss it over Skype, but they might have to go back a bit early to London to finalise it before the project starts in January. So it’s not a social visit?
I was so light headed that I went and spurted out that I had hideous visions of me being a gooseberry to them all over Christmas and new year. He went quiet for a few seconds and then kind of laughed and said no, he wanted to spend the holiday with me.
I then said something lame like ‘So she’s not your girlfriend?’ and again he coughed and cleared his throat (I hadn’t notice him do that before) and he goes ‘No Case. She’s just a friend. Really. I want you to know that. I’m not interested in anyone else.’
WHAT THE FUCK does that mean?????????????????
I was so relieved to know that there was nothing happening between them and he didn’t want there to be, that I didn’t really register in my love infested brain what he had said and the connotations of it. Until we had come off the phone, that is. TYPICAL.
I feel like ringing him back NOW but really, what would I say? ‘Oh Lee about what you said before’ and QUOTE the guy? Er..no.
in anyone else ………that’s what he said.
that implies there’s someone else……and the only ‘else’ would be me seeing as he was talking to me.
Oh God, Goddess, Buddha……PLEASE let it be true!
Lisa said that he was talking about me in that way before he left for uni, just before we became friends. So what changed? Maybe he is waiting to see what I say to him, because let’s face it I was a prize bitch to him over summer. He probably feels vulnerable, not knowing whether I can be trusted as a girlfriend. I would think the same if I had met myself under those circumstances of utter hostility. Stupid cow that I am, not being able to see what was right under my nose. Ok Ok. So I wait more. Christmas is only a few weeks away now and although it’s unbearable, I have to ride it out without making a complete tit of myself before I see him again.
I have to think of small hints though. Maybe he’ll start being a bit bolder and we might get somewhere………
Mum has been trying to get me shopping for clothes. I know this is a bad idea from the word ‘shopping’. Why? Because all the high street shops are shit. The clothes are made by poor kids and women in sweat shops getting paid frickin pittance. I won’t buy from them. Mum says that Primark have a policy now about this but I don’t believe it. Plus I don’t want to turn up at college wearing the same jumper or coat as every other girl. I have done some sketches of clothes that I’d like to wear right now: (kinda self portraits as well, there is a resemblance for those who are interested in what I kinda look like!)
I’m going to ask Stella if she’ll help me. Maybe I can find some vintage or second hand website that sells some things like this and get her advice and ideas on how to ‘upcycle‘ them. He’s some info about upcycling:
This website is pretty cool, selling upcycled stuff. Looks like hippie stuff but that’s fine as well.
I’ve been so unfocussed on college work this weekend. I’ve been more inspired towards my new look and style ideas. I did this cool eye liner last night when I hung out with Kate. (Yes, it’s a photo of me! I’m still hating having my photo taken…)
I really want to go for it with this hair as well:
I’m blonde so I won’t have to bleach my hair straw-like to get the best effects.
I can’t wait. Watch this space!
- Green Fashion: clothes swap inspiration (stylishsolution.wordpress.com)
- Ideas For Upcycling T-Shirts (familyfocusblog.com)
- The New Craze of Revamping/Upcycling Items of Clothing. (clairelewisco.wordpress.com)
- Upcycling?? (madcap328.wordpress.com)
- How to Upcycle Plastic Containers to Make a Cupcake Bag (miloscrafts.com)
- Upcycled Leather Satchels – The Sway Creates Incredibly Stylish Clothing for the Edgy Girl (TrendHunter.com) (trendhunter.com)
- Upcycled kids clothes by Kallio (brooklynmakers.com)
- Upcycling (ecocitizenaustralia.com.au)
- Upcycling Article / Milwaukee Journal / Mike Smith (destructivetesting.wordpress.com)
- How to make an iPhone case from upcycled materials (mnn.com)