That was what this excuse for a human being fired at my face yesterday at college. I want to put it out there.

I sit around, especially during Theatre Studies, and just watch all the things that these dickweeds do and how they are all competing continuously. I don’t know. Is it the nature of the kind of people who want to study theatre that they HAVE to be attention seeking, drama stirring, air kissing, pretentious DOUCHE BAGS? For the sake of fuckery.

Well. On Friday afternoon, Kate was off so I was just sitting on the edge of the stage while Mr Somers was talking to us. I could see Gemma Matthews, Eliza Brown and Jo Flint whispering and looking in my direction so I just smiled at them sarcastically, as I normally do. Somers then said that he was putting us into groups to do some improv work and to my horror, I was put with Gemma (look at my hair, watch me swish it, it’s cascading down my back, look at me, look) Matthews and she high fived the other bimbettes and sauntered over to me, the hair swishing and her hips swaying. I pretended to look through her and then stood up. I said to start immediately, and walked to the back of the stage where it was quiet and sat down. She didn’t. She didn’t want to get her clothes dusty. She actually said that! When she had found a chair she sat there and sat cross legged with her hands on her knees like she was meditating, her face upwards and towards the audience, so fake…so fucking up her own crack-hole.

I started because she clearly was too busy mouthing things to her little minions who were dotted around the theatre having been put with different people to work with. Mr Somers was walking towards us, so I started. Our line was ‘Have you seen Mr. Green’s poodle?’

I said it and she was still trying to get either Eliza or Jo to understand what she was saying. Therefore and thus, the fuckward didn’t carry on with the prov. Mr Somers was standing there, clip board hugged to his chest, tapping his foot on the wood of the stage floor. I said. ‘Someone said they saw it this morning shitting in the middle of a croquet pitch.’

Somers laughed.

I carried on.

‘Are you really that much of a dick that you don’t realise I am speaking?’

Somers waited for a bit. I looked at her and someone must have pointed at Somers because her face fell and she mouthed fuuuuuck. She turned to Somers. He was fuming. She got a ranting in front of the whole class about her attitude. People were sniggering. I was out right laughing. She looked mortified. I think she’s close to being chucked off the course to be honest, but that’s not my fault!

Afterwards, I had worked with one of the guys and it was fine, but she pulled my hood as we were leaving the theatre. She literally pulled it to the other side of the corridor and towered over me, pointing her manicured silly pink and blue shitty finger nail towards my eye. Then she said THAT.

I said that, yes, I was in fact a bitch, but I had not ever contributed to her reputation of being a complete and utter container of brain muck. She had done that all by herself. She glared at me and then swished away down the corridor, her perfume aroma of Estee Lauder ‘silly cow’ wafting behind her.

I went home feeling quite pleased. The fucking idiot.

Meanwhile, in my attic room, I am missing Lee like a muverflupper, and looking forward to 6 weeks time when we get 2 weeks for Easter! I would LOVE to take him to Greece because Easter is amazing there. I don’t know though. I would have to stay with Yiayia and Papous in the garconiere, if it isn’t being rented out, but I doubt if they would let me stay in there with a BOY. Greek grandparents are strict like that….

So what have I been up to? Not a lot. Driving lessons are going good. I have 3 a week and the instructor has had to tell me to slow down every single lesson. Haha! I just love it.

Annabitch’s boyfriend broke her arm! Why does she stay with that c***t? Now Lee has got to run around after her. She’s telling everyone she fell down the stairs. It’s bullshit. Lee and Chloe are trying to get her to report him to the fuzz but she won’t and they can’t get it out of her why. I know why. She LIKES being a fucking victim and she likes having Lee running around after her like a puppy. FUCK OFF! She entered his room while we were Skyping the other night. Just walked right in there, no knocking. He had to go and iron something for her. Oh come on. Good job we weren’t doing anything private aint it? 😦

But yehh. me and Lee are sound. Dimitri is still flirting with me and getting through more girlfriends than I get through packets of Amber Leaf! I love that dude. I want to see him but I’m in two minds…I think I would find it hard to stop myself if he tried to kiss me or something. And that doesn’t dilute my feelings for Lee, as I’ve said before. They are like polar opposites and I love different aspects of both of them. Tough one!

Right, time to go heat up my spag bol leftovers. I’ve got a bottle of red and Lisa said she might come by and hang out. I don’t mind, but she talks all the time about Joel and it doesn’t sound like he’s THAT into her to be honest. Lee says that’s just Joel, he doesn’t show his feelings, preferring to make jokes instead of owning up to anything. Lisa is sensitive like her brother and she’s finding it hard as he’s out all the time partying and she doesn’t know where or who with. At least when Lee’s out he’s working and he texts me when he can. He tells me he loves me every day and I feel it. It’s not just words coming out his gob. Lee has tried to talk to Joel, but he did the thing he normally does which is make a joke. Oh well. We shall drink wine, I shall smoke out the window and we shall watch something spooktastic.

laters. 🙂

silenta angel graffitti 2

 

 

Advertisements

Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

20131226_181841

Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

Yes, so Lee came back!

In case you were all wondering where the heck I have been! Mostly with Lee, enjoying my days, chilling out, dodging my M&D (well Lee has been!) and just being in a generally good place. It has been so hot as well….I’ve got a beaut tan…advantage of having a big back garden with no immediate neighbours! Yeppers, topless sunbathing….hoorah!

There are loads of things going on in the background too.

Dimitri has started to get really possessive, even though he’s in Halkidiki for the summer…he won’t stop texting me and has been going to an internet cafe every day, sometimes three/four times a day, to get on Skype. But I am rarely inside. I am either outside ston kipo (in the garden- trying to practice my Greek) or in the woods/ fields/bedroom/surgery  with Lee..sorry filo mou but I just can’t get my head around your demands on me. He lead me to believe that he was dating loads of gomena and having fun but clearly he aint cos he texts me every evening and seems to be lonely. I do miss him but I’ve got Lee. What can I do?

Yes, Lee is working in Dad’s surgery in the mornings, that’s why I have had chance to gussy up and get my white transparent skin to see some UVs. I was honestly scary! With my pale blue hair, I really did look like a friggin ghoul. I love that look for winter but not for summer. Must be my Greekness coming out cos I tan really easily….

Lee keeps hassling me to come clean to M&D about us. I pointed out that if I tell them, they’ll be extra OTT on their guard at bed times…and so it’ll make his climbing up more risky. He told me to tell them we are sleeping together….PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF what the actual fuck does he think he’s on about? My Dad is adamant that I’m staying a virgin til my wedding night! It’s more fun this way I think , but for Lee it’s hard cos Dad has given him this part time job and he feels guilty for going behind his back. I get that but t would spoil everything. I know Lee wants it all out in the open and we keep talking about it with me ending up sulking (only because I know I haven’t got a leg to stand on…he’s right and I hate that he’s right!) and him going quiet on me. This is the only downer so far.

I’m off to make dinner…yes, Mum has been insisting I cook for myself. I quite enjoy it! I’m making quorn wraps..like chicken wraps with onion, tomato, peppers, garlic…but with quorn pieces instead. Lee loves them. He should be round soon. I will try and write more but if I don’t……HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!!

DGBCatDolphin

vgfrf

So I’m still waiting to find out when Lee’s coming home.

I’m starting to think he doesn’t want to.

I’m just in limbo, not knowing when...I can’t make plans because as soon as I do, you can bet your asshole that he’ll suddenly announce he’s coming back and I’ll be in Outer Mongolia or somewhere!

Dimitri wants me to go to Thessaloniki.

Stella wants me to go to her’s.

My Aunt wants to come and see us.

I think Dad would let me go stay with the Greekies if I asked and that would really piss Lee off (well, I hope it would). Not playing games or anything….I can say what I want on my blog here cos no one is going to read it except for people I don’t know and especially not Lee.

I feel like shit and my evil heart wants to make him feel bad too.

I know that’s wrong but I feel massively cheated.

M&D are fed up with me moping around upstairs and Dad wants me to go work in the surgery. WTF. On reception!

Oh my life………..

 

 

Because lee’s not here yet. And I’m boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.

He’s working. Why? Well to cut a long story short, his Dad has decided that he’s not going to be sending his Mum and sister any money! WTF would be about right. I mean, it’s NOT right that he should do this, surely? Lee has been on the phone with him every night trying to sort it, but apparently his M&D had a huge row and that was the last thing he said to her. Lee is, of course, fuming with him for many reasons. The obvious being that he HAS to provide for his family even though they are filing for divorce. He will have to pay them money legally so why stop now and make it worse!? Poor lee has had to scrounge extra hours in the bar to send money back to his Mum while this childish situation gets resolved. That leaves me and him up in the air as to when he can come back home for the summer, as well as the problem that he can’t stay in his house over summer without paying rent, which is massive. His Dad’s not going to carry on paying for his rent (if he’s in such a fucking foul strop) for Lee to work to send money home to his Mum. lee said that he’s willing to lie to his Dad, saying that he’s got to stay and do Uni work, for the sake of being able to stay and earn some cash! Jesus fucking Christ.

I just listen to all this every night, trying not to get upset, trying to be supportive, thinking WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME!!!??? I don’t want him to have extra ball ache because I’m whining like a bitch at him. Fuck it!

Dimitri has gone to Thessaloniki for the summer and is, as we speak, at his parent’s summer house in Halkidiki. Mmmm. Jealous much? Hell yeh! I miss him. He hasn’t got an internet connection that can support skype so we just use msn and texting. Ouch. He told me that he’s dating three girls there already, all from Thessaloniki. Again, I try not to think about why I am scratched by the nails of the green eyed monster when he talks about it. I don’t know why.

He sent me this a few days ago. Twist the knife RIGHT into the wound why not?Diamerisma_agora_Thesaloniki_fotografia_19113222

Ok, this is the view he had of my (Grandparent’s) balcony when I was there earlier this year and we would sit outside til late in the night talking. looks like Yiayia has been clearing out a bit cos there are some cupboards and stuff there. I MISS MY ROOM SO MUCH!!!

I have been writing to my Greekies and I got a letter back from Yiayia the other day. I will post it on here, it’s amazing to see the Greek writing. I showed it to Dim on skype and he translated it for me. Awww I love my Greekies! I want to go back so much and I keep having dreams about it. I wake up and feel so sad. Lee is always there with me and Dimitri. I wish it could be like that…

296113_518772128176952_1759885843_n

So I haven’t been doing much, just moping around. I know I should be happy that college is over til September, but surprisingly, I am am feeling deflated after the exams. I guess it’s cos I feel like I am DOING something constructive in my mission to get away from here and go to London with Lee when I am at college and working towards exams. Afterwards it’s back to being 17 year old Casey who still lives with her parents in a house in the middle of nowhere. Going nowhere with only Chester dog for company.

I did get to go shopping with Mum (well, I say with, but she went to Next and I went to some charity shops) and these are two things I picked up. Cool eh?

shot_1369071924900 shot_1369071955956

There are so many things I want to do, but can’t. Like:

1. Get a tattoo on my wrist. (M&D forbidden).

2. Get a nose ring. (M&D forbidden).

3. Go to Greece and hang out with D.

4. Go to London and hang out with Lee.

5. Go to my Aunt’s and help her write the next novel about me and Lee. (I might get to do that soon actually).

Basically, this is what I have done every day since I broke up from college:

  • Got up around midday.
  • Taken Chester for a walk.
  • Showered and put makeup etc on.
  • Sometimes eaten breaky and mostly not!
  • Sent Lee and Dim a text message each and replied to them.
  • Tried to tidy up my room and sort out dirty clothes, taken some downstairs, shoved them in the washing machine.
  • Attempted to iron some but given up. How dull is that fucking job???
  • Gone for a walk in the woods again with Chester.
  • Read a book or magazine. (Currently reading The Ritual by …..some guy and can’t get into it!)
  • Surfed around on Youtube for any new stuff on paranormal investigations.
  • Listened to music. Current favourite includes Sneaker Pimps.
  • Had a cheese and pickle sandwich.
  • Written some diary stuff.
  • Talked to lee on the phone or Skype.
  • Stared out the window and missed Lee a lot.
  • Gone downstairs to eat with M&D. Avoided a lot of topics -of -the- day for example, what are you going to do for the next 6 weeks, Casey?
  • Helped Mum (not Dad you notice!) clean up the kitchen.
  • Back out to take Chester for a walk. Stayed out a long time cos I love this time of day. Twilight.
  • Watched TV in my room or some youtube vids.
  • Listened to music on my i pod. Dozed off.
  • Woken up at around 12 midnight to talk to Lee on Skype. He texts me if he sees I am asleep hahaha! How cool is that!
  • Watched a DVD or something else to try and take my mind off missing Lee (approximately 3am each night after he falls asleep).
  • Fallen asleep around 4:30am……………

Cool. Not. Very not.

Things have to change………..

tumblr_mamdj7sMLW1qeo4lho1_500

 

 

shot_1369071113532 (1)

Oh man.

Where to start?

Firstly. Why the silly amount of time without blogging? Laziness. Depression. Being uninspired.

I feel like I am nowhere at the moment, (yeh like what’s new, right?) and I don’t know who to trust or what’s real.

I started spiralling down into this pit of dispair about a week ago when I found out that Lee’s Dad has been offered quite a good job. Great you would say, and you would be right, except that it has a knock on effect on my relationship with Lee. It’s in Leeds which is about 40 miles from here so I guess the whole family will be selling up and moving there. This poses a number of problems as me and Lee are only supposed to be friends so on his trips back home from Uni his home will no longer be here, (5 minutes walk from me….easily reached night and day…my window easily accessible by climbing the tree…) but 40 miles from here. How is he going to visit me? Ok he WILL be able to, but I can’t see our parents allowing us to sleep in the same room….it won’t be the same! Fucking SHIT it sucks so bad. I have been skyping with my beloved a bit more lately, another reason I haven’t been blogging, as he has cut down his hours. He was getting ill and was telling me that he couldn’t do uni projects through feeling so shit bagged. I told my Dad because Lee didn’t want to worry his M&D. Dad had a serious word with his Mum and cos his Dad has been offered this job they said he could stop working in the bar altogether if he wanted. I hope he does cos then I will get to see his sexy ass during Uni hols. Cos frankly my friends, this situation SUCKS fucking eggs. the last time I saw him was Easter for about a milli second!

Dim invited me to Manchester last weekend. I really wanted to go but of course Dad said no. Mum was all ready to let me but Nazi man put his booted foot down and said NEIN! Fuck’s sake. I would have been able to stay next to his room with a girl called Tamara, we have even skyped a few times and she’s pretty awesome. She is doing a Fashion Degree. TBH though, from what she has told me (out of earshot of D) he wants to be more than friends. This I kinda gathered, but he also seemed cool with the fact that I’m with Lee so it has never been an issue. I told her that I found him hugely attractive and I defo would agree to being more than buds with him if I wasn’t so fucking IN DESPERATE LOVE with that Mr. Chapman!

It’s hard for me cos they are both so different and I love each of their differences. For example, Lee is the opposite of me in many ways like he is really patient and considerate of how other people feel. I, on the other hand, am not. I can’t wait for stuff I want and most of the time I don’t give a sonic shit about how other people feel. I am an only child, maybe that has some baring on it, I dunno. Lee is always telling me off for being self absorbed. I know I am and he helps me see that. Dim is funny, flirty, outgoing and a bit laddy sometimes, again the opposite of lee. He knows he’s fucking gorgeous and loves girly attention. Lee doesn’t know how divine his ass is and would never dream of outwardly flirting with anyone. Like with me, he wanted to be ‘friends’ first and then cos it had gone to the best friends zone, didn’t want to jeopardise it. Not D. He wouldn’t think twice if I said I would break up with Lee for him. I know it.

Lee is serious. He knows a lot about stuff like conspiracy theories and things happening in the world that are unjust…he is a really deep thinker and philosophises and analyses. D does to a certain extent but won’t enter into deep discussions. He laughs at me when I tell him about the ghost girl in my bathroom for example and keeps taking the piss out of the fact I won’t go to McDonalds or eat any meat. Lee is with me all the way on the meat thing and would not dream of going into McDonald’s unless to bomb it most probably!

D is helping me explore my roots which is a vital part of my life at the moment and he is my link with Thessaloniki. He makes me laugh until my sides crease and he is full of mischief. OTOH Lee is my rock. I can say anything to him and not get laughed at if I am being serious. He is the nurturer and the caring, beautiful soul that I wish I was. I am more like D in my attitude in that we find emotion hard to show. We would rather sit alone and play loud music until our heads explode than talk it over or write poetry like Lee does.

So they are my boys.

Plus D has been outrageously floozing with loads of girls since splitting up with Popi. I am too much of a jealous nutter to tolerate his ways methinks!

So I get to talk to Lee on Skype most evenings now. I ache for him! I usually get to talk with D on Skype every other day and he’s out most nights til stupid o’clock so I don’t get to talk to him after about 9pm.

College is ok. I am getting pretty good grades but it’s all a bit shitty really and I don’t hang out with anyone now. Kate found another friend and for some reason chooses to ignore me now. She has started to wear silly clothes from Topshop and her hair is all…normal. Ewwwgh. Stella is ok, I talk to her probs three times a week. She has got yet another new boyfriend so guess what? Yep. Negated Casey!

I have been reading a LOT lately. These are ones worth mentioning:

*The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

Worth mentioning because there has been a lot of hype about it but I couldn’t really understand why. I enjoyed it and felt fucking sad at the end (no spoilers!) but the style didn’t appeal to me. It’s too short..I mean the sentences are short and abrupt and the dialogue confusing. Look at this:

‘They licked the spoons and tipped the bowls and drank the rich sweet syrup. They looked at each other.

One more.

I don’t want you to get sick.

I won’t get sick.’

Hmmf???? WTF? No. I can’t feel the characters in this writing style. There was no depth.

*The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.

I loved everything about this book!!!!

First of all it’s set in Paris. I love Paris. It describes the (secret) life of a Concierge (like a caretaker) and the people who live in this one apartment block. The other main character is a very intelligent and observant 12 year old called Paloma Josse who hates her life and her upper class parents and plans to commit suicide on her 13th birthday! Chapters of the book are written as her diary that she begins with titles like

‘Profound thought No.1

Follow the stars

In the Goldfish bowl

An end’

The whole book is amazing because the Concierge reads philosophy and Paloma writes about it…and they become friends.

I can’t recommend it enough! Read a review here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/14/fiction3

What I am reading now…..*The Prisoner of Heaven by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Oh! I LOVE his books! I have already read The Shadow of the Wind and Angel’s Game and this is number 3 in the series. It’s gothic, it’s dark and it’s ghostly! All the books are set in Barcelona and have the same main characters. The plots are a little woven together as well which I love.

‘For Fermin Romero De Torres,

who came back from among the dead

and holds the key to the future.

13’

Read more about Carlos Ruiz Zafon here:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/

Here is The Angel’s Game which I think is the best one:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/theangelsgame.html

The next book I am going to read is *The Taker by Alma Katsu

The tag line is ‘An immortal love story’ so it’s either going to be a bag of shite or really great!

Here are some reviews, a mixed bag from what I can gather….

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7766064-the-taker#other_reviews

I will let you guys know on that one…but it does say ‘The Taker is a story of mystery, passion, unreturned tragic love, and the paranormal. It’s sort of adult dark tale with goth elements, paranormal romance and historical fiction.
This book is cleverly constructed and has a few stories within a story, it’s very well written – compelling characters, and intricately detailed.
The brilliant Alma Katsu is definitely an author to watch out for in the future!
If you are looking for a fantastic, brutal, heartbreaking and magical story, read THE TAKER.’

shot_1369070991280

Next up…oh actually no. I will stop rambling and post some charity shops finds and some good youtube viewings on my next post. Oh and some DVDs I have enjoyed lately. I have to talk to Lee sexy Lee now!

Laters……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know how or why, but I have been nominated for above award by

http://primalnights.wordpress.com

and

http://hauntedteenager.wordpress.com/

To be really damn honest here, I don’t know WHO reads my blog…and it doesn’t matter THAT much cos it’s a place for me to rant at (oh so many) things that make me CRAZY and just about everyday crap that occurs. None of my friends know I write a blog so it’s kinda safe and I feel free! I’m pretty sure that’s the case for a whole bunch of other Bloggers here as well, but anyways THANKS to these guys, I really appreciate it!

So now I have to do what I have to do….

Here are the Little Rules.

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website.

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award.

3. Present fifteen awards to deserving bloggers

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you have  linked them in the post.

5. Post seven interesting things about yourself

So here goes!

Here are my nominees (sorry not 15!) I am putting them in categories cos it kind of shows you facets of my personality and therefore you will understand a bit more about me… and also…you can select whichever you like to read based on my descriptions!

So.

General thoughts and diary style blogs

(some of which include rantings and stuff about relationships and similar issues that I blog about):

Avalanche of a Mindset  www.rhairyza.wordpress.com

I Speak Lyrics www.kec98.wordpress.com

Just another Teenage Blogger www.justanotherteenageblogger.wordpress.com

Life from the Queen of Hearts www.lifefromthequeenofhearts.wordpress.com

You are a Wallflower www.youareawallflower.wordpress.com

Primal Night’s www.primalnights.wordpress.com

Thank you all for making me realise I am not alone in feeling fucked up!

Ghosts/Horror & films/Dark Stories

Freaky Folk Tales www.freakyfolktales.wordpress.com

Graveology www.graveOlogy.com

My Life with Ghosts www.mylifewithghosts.com

Spider Goddess www.spidergoddess.wordpress.com (mystic subjects)

Animal Rights:

www.newsforanimalwelfare.com

Now for the bit that makes me cringe!

7 ‘Interesting’ (or not) things about myself:

  • I have got a birth mark on my left butt cheek in the shape (or design!) of a spider’s web and I love it..
  • I am half Greek. My Dad was born in Thessaloniki in the North. I am learning Greek!
  • When I was a toddler I fell into a well that my parents didn’t know existed and I was there for 12 hours. I wasn’t even hurt when they found me. Not a single scratch!
  • I have a ghost girl in my attic bathroom. I see her watching me sometimes.
  • I am an only child. I think that’s why I hate sharing stuff and I am anti~social!
  • I have got a dog called Chester. I love all animals and do NOT eat them or wear them.
  • One of my ambitions is to live on a self sufficient farm in the middle of a forest.

Thanks to everyone who follows me and reads my garbage! 🙂 34705_485251998184137_751667628_n

Animallib

Animallib (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes it’s just too much to even look at these. Today I put some as backgrounds on my lappy. I miss Yiayia and her stupid talk about boyfriends and why I dye my hair blue. Paps just used to sit there sipping coffee and beaming at me. It’s not fair. They are my flesh and blood but they won’t come to England. They think they are too old…..Yiayia has never been out of Greece, never been on a plane. What a life…just being at home all day learning how to cook and bringing up her kids. My Dad and my Aunt Sophia. God, she is a weirdo though! I dunno…I kinda liked her but she was so loud. Like, why dye your hair blonde if you have got naturally BLACK hair and olive skin? No! I would LOVE to have black hair and olive skin! Look at me. To say I am Half Greco, it sucks really that I took Mum’s complexion! WHY GOD, WHY?????

‘Itan para poli wraia na se xerw…..elpizw oti mia mera, tha ksanasinandoume…tha mou leipseis poli’

I don’t know if I remember that right….D wrote it down in English letters for me and wouldn’t translate it. I lost it though, I have looked everywhere for it. I didn’t dare ask dad in case it’s something ‘personal’ hahaha. I can’t google it to translate because it’s not in proper Greek letters………Damn!

Some more shots of the city of light!

1345_38421594710_1235_n

this one is near where we got off the bus in the centre. I LOVE the way it looks so intense with the shops and apartments stacked up…and then an ancient church next to it.

2166_47940759710_2253_n

a random night shot along the port front….can you tell I was wasted? hahaha

 395984_10150556354004711_1050633018_n

D took this…right down a step nearly touching the water in the port. I was too drunk to do it I would have landed in there for sure!

402277_10150556352949711_531871788_n

around the same area by day…

408824_10150556353604711_1478610061_n

random backstreet shot

409264_10150556353034711_191666433_n

D made me go up the White Tower even though I was shitting myself. He took this so I would be able to see the view at least from a camera. He called me ‘Kota’ which I believe is CHICKEN.

background please

ancient ruins in the midst of this heaving and wonderfully mad city centre! All the shops round here are hippy/goth/arty.

facebook_-19066223

abandoned baby! Oh yeh!

facebook_-513133700

one of the cafe’s where I drank copious Frappe’s (gliko me gala!)

facebook_1026775798

We walked this strip til we wore it down I reckon!

facebook_-1361255020

random cool shot of nice buildings…The National Bank I think

protest salonika

Some big protest…….can’t remember what about. Apparently it’s always happening. Good!

Oh MAN look at those apartment buildings!

What does Casey want for Christmas? One of those blue ones! Er…dream on.

Oh I was sent this video…D says it is one of the best (traditional) Greek singers and the song is about Thessaloniki.

<iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/OpoLvi_GQYA&#8221; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe

Σ ΑΝΑΖΗΤΩ ΣΤΗ ΣΑΛΟΝΙΚΗ

means something like; I explore or delve into Saloniki

http://www.greek-dictionary.org/translate-english/delve

I suppose like he wants to know everything about the place. Like I do!

I have been back for…*working it out*…oh, a week! Jesus I didn’t even realise it was a week ago since I flung my bags and laptop down on my bed in my attic room and wanted to die of exhaustion and from the black cloud that was pouring freezing, blinding rain onto my shit life.

Yeh well. As you can probs work out, I am non too happy to be back in this dark, cold, rainy country where no one smiles. My only saving graces are the two men in my life who are here. Lee and Dimitris.

Basically (I hate people who say that but there, I said it and don’t give a fuck) I have been catching up on all my college work and Skyping lee and Dimitri. Nothing else. I miss Thessaloniki so much it hurts. I have been trying to work out a way to go and live there but Dad says that it’s impossible nowadays with the crisis and all that jazz. He says it isn’t even worth me studying there as there are no good Universities for Arts or Design and I would have to know Greek to like, an AMAZING standard to even be able to get by. And A levels probs wouldn’t count as a way in cos money apparently has more standing than exam results. In other words parents BRIBE the universities to take their kids on. Really now?!! No wonder Dad studied here.

But that doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m so utterly damn confused about everything.

Sometimes I wish I had never gone to Thessaloniki but then…no I don’t cos it was frickin awesome!

I even miss my little garconiera.

I miss Dimitri. We got up to some crap! The last two nights we stayed up on the balcony til 3am and I got royally pissed and then he took me for drives around the city and we went for some beers on the VERY last night but don’t tell M&D cos they forbade it. Well they should know not to forbid Casey cos she will do it. For sure.

Yeh so what about Lee?

I got to Skype with him a bit more when I got back but it was late. Like 2am til fall asleep on top of the laptop type of late. He is working so hard and I am deeply shitting myself about him. He never stops! He has got dark rings under his eyes every time I chat with him and he slurs his speech. I don’t think his M&D realise how many shifts he is working right now. I feel like going over there and telling them but I think they’ve got enough to worry about. Like his Dad finding a job! My M&D have been helping out a lot like making them food and Mum has been there to help her clean and do stuff around the house. That’s more for a friendly ear though I reckon. Lisa said he had an interview while we were away but didn’t get it after all that so that made him feel loads worse. Shit. Lee is sending money home I think as well.

I know he loves me but he hasn’t told me for ages now. I don’t want to stress him out with my shit so I tell Dimitri everything. We have grown close and I afraid that I’m spending more time talking with him than Lee. What can I do though? He is also having probs with his girlfriend so we are kinda consoling each other. I think he likes me more than mates but I can’t ‘entertain’ that thought right now. Why do things happen when you least NEED them to? He has said I can go stay with him in Manchester whenever I want but I think, and this is the plain fucking truth, we would end up doing something and I don’t want that shit on my shoulders as well. We came pretty close to kissing in the car when we got back on the last night and we had been to this cool as SHIT rock bar above an old indoor market place. (I can’t remember the name of it now). He was looking at me right in the eyes….IN the eyes and he said that he had had the best week with me and he would miss me loads. We hugged and..and…and…well you know. It was on the cards but we both kinda laughed it off and got out the car. Awkwardly.

I love Lee with all my heart. It’s just that Dimitri is different to any guy I have ever met. He is part of my roots, part of that part of me that I have just found. That beautiful city of light. It’s so so so magical. He IS that place and so therefore he IS me.

I haven’t said anything to Lee or him about how I feel. I do feel lucky to have them both in my life though. Of course I told Lee about him and he didn’t seem to mind..when I told him we were just friends. Are we though?

Anyway. He will probably sort stuff out with his girl and Lee’s Dad will find a job and everything will get back to normal. I will soon forget how empty I feel now and how amazing Greece is. I will be comfortably numb, sitting up here dreaming about the summer hols when I can see Lee. Everything will be great again when he comes here and we play the game of climb the tree to my room and sleep together til dawn. Except the fucking tree will have leaves on it then so it’ll be a bitch to climb up and down. Hahaha poor Lee!

Yes. Life will be good again. I hope……..

For now I will be playing Greek Rock music as recommended by Dim (or Jim as his English buds call him) and posting some more of my Thessaloniki pictures so I can stare at them some more. And weep.

Let it continue…..

Xilina Spathia (The wooden Swords)

Xartinos Ouranos (Paper Sky)

Pix Lax (Punch Kick)

Monaxia mou ola (My loneliness is everything)

Nikos Portokaloglou

Pou isouna fws mou (where were you, my light)

(btw I am trying to translate some of these songs with the help of D of course. That last one has beautifully dark lyrics about love and pain).

 

 

 

You see, I am learning Greek quite fast! I have started to practice the alphabet and writing the letters. It seems to come easily, I guess it’s genetic. Dad’s really happy and so is Y&P. I really want to be able to communicate with them properly someday.

So last night, Dimitri shouted across at me from his balcony and I parked my chair at the end of my balcony. His balcony almost touches mine so it was like I was in there. There were 5 guys all playing guitar and singing. They kept passing me bottles of beers (Mythos..I love it) and I got a bit drunk hahaha. They played mostly Greek songs and Dimitri kept reminding them that I didn’t really understand so they would play some stuff I knew. Led Zeppelin was popular with them and some Nirvana which I sang along to pretty loudly! I kept expecting someone to come out and bollock us for being loud but of course this is Greece. No one seems to give a shit although Dad said he could hear them and that the ‘noise’ stopped at about 3am. Whoops! Greek boys are fricking sexy I have to say at this point. One of them, I think he was called Kostas, kept staring at me and spent most of the evening singing AT me, I could tell. He was really cute. I think I like the dark skin and hair. Hahaa. Lee is dark as well but he has got fair skin.

They taught me some words that apparently I need to know…like Malakas WANKER……hahahaha! And how to say Fuck you which is Gamisoo….they said it a lot to each other as well as Malaka and I kept laughing. Apparently it’s normal and friendly, wtf ok then! I said to Dimitri, if this isn’t arguing I wanna see what you’re like when you’re really pissed with each other..he thought it was funny and said that it’s pretty ugly. They kept doing a hand gesture that I love as well…hand in your face, like NAAH! You’re an idiot and need to shut up type of thing….Oh I love it.

So today I went out with the oldies and we went for another walk (a TOO SHORT walk!) around the city. I just love it so much!   Dad told me that there was a massive fire and that the city centre was designed by a French architect after that. It is really beautiful. The buildings are mixed up like you get modern ones sandwiched in between an ancient church and a french style one. There are also LOADS of abandoned ones as well. I was standing there just staring up and Dad had to drag me away. I really REALLY want to go out and explore ON MY OWN. I don’t think Dad will let that happen. Fuck it…Gamisoo!

I had given Dimitri my number to call me so we could go out for a coffee. BUT he called me whilst I was out with the oldies and I told Dad and he was like, oh let’s all go for a coffee down the port area………WTF? Y&P wanted to as well so I had to EMBARRASSINGLY tell Dimitri. Thing is he was cool about it. What is it with young people that they LIKE adult company? I was a bit pissed off but what could I do? Dad told him where we were gonna be and we met him there. I had ordered a normal coffee (ena Ness!) but when Dimitri got there he ordered a Frappe! When it came I was like WHAT? It’s cold coffee in a tall glass and it looks like it’s got a massive head on it. He let me try and and WOAHHHH it’s amazing. He then said why don’t I order one and I thought hmmmm so I said to him, let’s go somewhere else and I’ll order one there. I think he got the hint and we stuck around for another 20 minutes and then excused ourselves. M&D gave me looks as if to say DON’T YOU DARE do anything..but Yiayia was like, nudging Dad and getting all excited making a shooing gesture with her hand. She was saying that Dimitri is a good kid (kalo paythee) and that I would be ok with him. Yiayia I love you! AGAPI MOO! (My love!)

So we walked down the port area towards the White Tower (which I have to say isn’t white hahaha) and Dimitri told me all about Manchester and how he settled in and where he goes out etc. I told him my plans for Uni and he was really interested in my Art work and what I do with my clothes! We then talked about how hard it is for me with Lee being so far away and stuff. Get this though. His girlfriend is studying in Athens! OMG how crap! He hardly ever sees her, like this Easter for example, she has to spend it with her family in somewhere called…I can’t remember…something like Serress? It’s not far from Thessaloniki but they hardly see each other cos then he goes back to UK. I think the summer will be their time. I can’t imagine that shit.

We sat at a cafe outdoors at the end of the port area opposite the White Tower and I ordered my own Frappe! I am properly drinking this for ever now! Dimitri was impressed cos I asked him how to order it and I apparently said it perfectly: Thelo ena frappe gliko me gala (I want a sweet Frappe with milk) CHECK ME OUT!

We had a fun time there, he was teaching me some phrase that I can’t remember now…too many, my brain is overloaded! And that guy knows SO many people! Girls and guys would walk past and they would stop and kiss him like two or three times on the cheek or do a kind of high five thing (boys) and talk for ages, all animated like they were on a high. I so wished I could join in and talk as well, I felt like a dick. He was very polite and told all of them my name. So sweet. One girl stopped for a bit and had a coffee as well. She spoke really good English and asked me some stuff. Her name was Popi. She seemed quite er…how can I say it…over dramatic? I dunno…a bit egotistical and the way she was flicking her hair around got on my nerves. She had too much perfume on and exceptionally high heeled shoes……I wasn’t jealous…no, I have defo decided I wasn’t..I don’t know, just something about her. She seemed fake. Is that a Greek girl trait?

I jokingly said to Dimitri that she was flirting with him and he was like, no…..he said that most Greek girls like attention and flirt continuously. He seemed quite down on them in general. He said that they are difficult to read and like to play mind games. I asked him about his girlfriend (called Alexandra) and he said that she is a rocker with pink hair and Doc martens. She doesn’t go in for all that crap. Ha! He said that Thessaloniki girls are generally more down to earth and alternative thinking, whereas girls from Athens and the islands are the mind players. Interesting! He likes to stereotype, but who am I to say….

So we got the bus back and we said goodbye in the corridor…..and he frickin kissed me on the cheeks…three times I think. But I KNOW it’s normal here..hmmm I do find him really attractive though…NO NO Casey stop!!!

Here are some photos:

Kostas friend of Casey

Dimitri with his cheeky grin after laughing at me trying to repeat phrases to him in Greek!

images (4)

where I walked with the oldies, not far from the port area.

images (3)

162808_193713383972181_100000005621886_772983_3665715_n

165791_193713510638835_100000005621886_772984_5011967_n

 

And some abandoned buildings!

150004_161025553936183_100000862180248_267656_1594465_n

76779_161025460602859_100000862180248_267652_821245_n

actually this isn’t, but it’s gorgeous anyways!

75721_161169923921746_100000862180248_268334_2903587_n

I can’t wait for tomorrow!