Yeh so not a lot going down on the life front.

Hence my none committal blogging habit that I’ve recently developed.

College. College. College. College.

So what’s the same?

  • still passionately and vomtastically in love with Lee-face.
  • I still love/hate living in the middle of rural Lincolnshire like a disease-ridden hermit. I will wake up one morning and find someone has painted a massive X on my door. Plague resides here. Do not enter. Social disease!
  • Lisa sometimes comes round and hangs but we haven’t got a lot in common. Just her sexy brother and her pseudo-love of rock music.
  • Chester is my only friend.
  • Dimitri is a second contender for the ‘sexy as hell boys I know’ contest. He’s currently dating his next failure. I give it two weeks max.
  • College is dull and pointless. Oh except for the fact that I need the A Levels. Darn.
  • People at college are twats. Except Spencer. He’s ok. Not sexy at all though, so it makes it easier to be his friend.
  • Parents are annoying the hell out of me. Can’t wait for September.
  • driving lessons are wicked. I drive like a serpent.

So what’s different?

  • Apart from fuck-all? Fuck-all………..
  • my hair is purple.
  • my aunt and I finished the second chapter (draft 1). read here:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/chapter-2-first-draft/

  • she has designed a front cover. It’s full of creepy awesomeness. Look here:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/the-silent-angels-book-cover-muse/

  • I am listening to this……

I prom that I’ll try and write more as soon as work eases up a bit. Too much for my brain to absorb……….

for front cover silent angels 4

 

What’s up now!

November 10, 2013

Right then, I am determined to be positive all the way through this post. If I lie then I lie. Fuck it. (But I may have to put a bunch of foot notes at the end and admit some true shit!)

Ok so let’s start with my favourite subject, lee. Yeh so he finally backed down and created a Facebook page. I mean hell, is it THAT difficult?? Apparently so. I know I don’t spend much time on it either but it’s really nice to post stuff to each other, right? Well, yeh. It was cool to begin with but it’s kinda started to wear off. The novelty I mean. We Skype every day so what’s Facebook? That was his original argument and I contested it and now I hate to say I agree with him! Oh well. Anyone want to help me by making Facebook more interesting? Befriend me?

https://www.facebook.com/casey.papadaki

At least I badgered him into posting up a nice recent photo of himself. Wtf is his problem with his face? It’s THE most gorgeous face ON the Earth’s surface! What do you guys reck?

lee facebook

I caught him by surprise the day he left after half term. We were standing near the trees and the sun was peeking through the bare branches, illuminating him a bit. I had to lighten it a bit but it’s a good representation of Mr Chapman my lover!

I am pissed off this weekend (being positive has already become tedious!) because all his housemates are away and he’s there all on his own. We could set that place alight all alone this weekend! I’m glad Annabitch has gone. Apparently she is going through some counselling and has been cutting her arms. I feel bad for her (I suppose although not a LOT) cos her parents don’t give a shit, she’s only got this man-friend to fall back on (well, apart from Lee and she does that ALL the time) who beats up on her a lot. lee refuses to have him in their house so she goes off every so often to see him. Lee’s not happy about it and I know he loses sleep over her, but what can he do? He’s got his own family crap going on,even though his dad has started sending some money to his mum and Lisa, at last. Tool.

He’s going to be even busier soon cos he’s starting an Art Therapy course alongside his Fine Art degree. He wants to work with kids eventually which is cool I guess. I wouldn’t do that though, when I get my degree in Art I want to use it for something else like design. More money! lee isn’t like me in that. He reckons that money isn’t everything and we should use our talents to help other people. Ok,yeh. But I want to help myself have a good life as well!

Yep, I’m a selfish bitch! (That’s why me and Lee are great together. He’s the humanitarian and I’m the money grabber. We will be able to do great things hahaha! )

Dimitris is like me in that way. I’ve mentioned before how he and I are similar and we get on because of that, but sometimes hate each other as well! We went a week without Skyping or calling each other over half term because of one little comment I made and he took it all wrong. He is fiery and a bit judgemental like me (apparently, according to lee, very judgemental), and once he gets pissed off he can’t get through that feeling easily and so will retreat. I do the same and it drives Lee crazy as he just wants to talk everything out. I can’t and he gets pissed. I need time to heal Casey and then I come back and I can take the critique better. What’s up with that? Thing is lee takes offence, being hyper sensitive, and takes it all personally, whereas when me and Dimitri fight, we come back a few days later and laugh about it. Most of the time.

Yeh, so what about him? Well. He’s currently single AGAIN. He keeps saying that every time he gets with a new girl, he’s fine for a few weeks then he starts comparing her to me and subsequently dumps her. What can I say? I keep telling him how I feel, and it’s the truth. If I wasn’t with lee I would’ve been on the first train to Manchester months ago. We flirt a little, but I try not to let it go too far. he’s very gorgeous and attractive. We get on really well because we are so similar, but I am in love with Lee. Sometimes I DO think I might be in love with both of them, but I don’t think that’s possible.

Is it?

College is still SHIT. I refuse to discuss it on this Blog because it already permeates too much of my time as it is. I always have a rant about it to Lee anyway so no more about the boredom and doom that IS my crushingly dull 6th Form. Yuuk.

Musically I listen to my favourites on a regular basis, namely when I fall asleep; Nirvana, Paramore, Panic! At the disco, Pearl jam/Eddie vedder.

Other much-listened to-lately are Flyleaf, Slint, Yellowcard and Sick puppies. Here’s a particularly fucking awesome video and track I love:

and on finding this I have also found some full albums such as these: I have just discovered Hurt. Fucking screaming.

Anyways I digress!

Talking of Youtube, I have been watching some awesome Vlogs and stuff by a girl called Sarah Hawkinson, who has her own Youtube Channel. I like her game cos she’s a vegetarian, she loves Rock/Metal music, horror films and also has a pretty cool style. At the moment she’s got a particularly fetching shade of purple hair. Check her out here:

Lee is off to work now. 6 weeks til I see him at Christmas, although he MIGHT get back here sooner if he doesn’t need to work. Same old as far as the finances go cos he needs money now for this Art Therapy Module….. 

Oh yeh the gossip about Lisa and Joel! We had a great time and it ends up that those two are now an item but Lee’s Mum DOESNT know about it. Lisa thinks that she’ll freak, but Lee is all about the honesty again (oh man give it a break!) and keeps getting at Lisa to tell her. Saying that though, she has been on the phone to me most evenings going on about it in that she’s never gonna see him. Welcome to my World!!!! I do actually quite like her, but I feel a bit dubious about her newly found good style of being mildly goth and starting to listen to decent tunes. I know..I KNOW I shouldn’t judge and be shallow about appearances, but you can’t go from dancing around your living room to Lady Gaga and Britney ‘Speared’ to suddenly listening to Metallica! Morally WRONG! I will see…we talk a lot lately so I am giving her a chance. Lee would be stoked up if we got to be genuine friends. 

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I’m off to get food. Maybe back later but have got MOUNDS of work to get through later……………..oh and I MUST post those ghost pics I took with my Aunt! 

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BORED!

I really can’t cope.

I mean, I should be happy, right? I said not so long ago that if only me and Lee were together I would be ok, fuck that he is 100s of miles away. So why can’t I go back to that innocent time?

It’s dull. I am sitting here on my (unmade) bed, laptop on my knees, looking out the window at the cold cold evening that has just drawn in and covered me in darkness.

Mum and Dad are not speaking to me. What’s new? Well, because we had a row about driving lessons and me working in the surgery at weekends.

I DON’T WANT TO!

I have got sooooooooo much college work to do, I still have to do all my own cooking, shopping and cleaning (pffff) and it’s HARD and dull. All I want to do is sit and skype with Lee and Dimitri, lay there reading a book while Lee works on his art work…or watch movies online together.

Look at my room. It’s MASSIVE. I actually did clear it up and it looks really spacious but it’s freaking me out. Too tidy. I cant see my stuff kicking around on the floor. It looks cold and unlived in.

The bathroom is getting more and more freaky by the way. While Lee was here most nights, I didn’t see or hear anything, but since he’s gone back, I hear weird low level humming and I SWEAR a voice humming and singing…I can almost make out words….it’s a girl. I know it. I want to know who she is and why her spirit is still lingering here, around me.

Yeh so the condition is if I want driving lessons I have to work at the fucking surgery with Dad on my back all morning. What the hell. Then because I have to caj a lift off mum to go to ASDAs foodfuckingshopping, that means that I will finish at 12:30 and go straight home, grab a sandwich and go straight out with mum. I have to tag along and wait for her to shop and she goes around like, EVERYWHERE, getting bargains when I finished shopping an hour before. Could be at home talking to Lee. But no. Lee works Saturday nights as well so I don’t get to skype his sexy ass until 1am. That leaves Sunday when I have to do COLLEGE WORK. When does this leave me a frickin life?????

NEVER. EVER.

I am miserable.

I know I keep going the fuck on about her, but AnnabitchBelle is PISSING me off as well. Now I find out that no only did she take over HIS room during the summer while he was here, but she slept IN HIS BED and she is WORKING with Lee in Rock Retro, the student bar. FUUUUCK!!!

I know he doesn’t have feelings for her beyond platonic, but it still winds me right the hell up. I HAVE to get to London during half term. End of. Feeling jealous is simply NOT an option any more.

So what I am doing to take my mind off all this shit?

Reading!

I have just finished the 2nd book in the BEAUTIFUL DEAD series. ARIZONA. Ghostly, weird and raw.

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This is the blurb about the first one, called JONAS:

”Not alive. Not dead. Somewhere in between lie the Beautiful Dead …Something strange is happening in Ellerton High. Phoenix is the fourth teenager to die within a year. His street fight stabbing follows the deaths of Jonas, Summer and Arizona in equally strange and sudden circumstances. Rumours of ghosts and strange happenings rip through the small community as it comes to terms with shock and loss. Darina, Phoenix’s grief-stricken girlfriend, is on the verge. She can’t escape her intense heartache, or the impossible apparitions of those that are meant to be dead. And all the while the sound of beating wings echo inside her head… And then one day Phoenix appears to Darina. Ecstatic to be reunited, he tells her about the Beautiful Dead. Souls in limbo, they have been chosen to return to the world to set right a wrong linked to their deaths and bring about justice. Beautiful, superhuman and powerful, they are marked by a ‘death mark’ – a small tattoo of angel’s wings. Phoenix tells her that the sound of invisible wings beating are the millions of souls in limbo, desperate to return to earth.  Darina’s mission is clear: she must help Jonas, Summer, Arizona, and impossibly, her beloved Phoenix, right the wrong linked to their deaths to set them free from limbo so that they can finally rest in peace. Will love conquer death? And if it does, can Darina set it free?”

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Here’s the Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Dead-Jonas-v-ebook/dp/B003HVTH4O

Then this one.

shot_1379961773859I found it tucked away on the very bottom shelf of a charity shop, all yellowing and smelly. And it’s fantastic! It’s by the woman who wrote ‘The Spiderwick Chronicles’ and it’s really dark.

”Do you believe in faeries? Not the soft, gentle kind, but the sinister, feral kind – the ones that wreak havoc on everything in their path…Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother’s rock band, until an ominous attack forces them back to her childhood home. To the place where she used to see Faeries. They’re still there. But Kaye’s not a child anymore. This time she’s dragged into the thick of their dangerous, frightening world. A realm where black horses dwell beneath the sea, desperate to drown you…where the sinister Thistlewitch divines dark futures…and where beautiful faerie knights are driven to perform acts of brutal depravity for the love of their uncaring queens. Once there, Kaye finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms – a struggle that could end in her death…”
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Art wise I am so into these artists’ work right now……..

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HERAKUT!!

Ok, must click off and get this posted. Just seen Mr C sex man walk into his room, waving at me……