January 12, 2014
I haven’t blogged since before New Year, in fact I haven’t blogged THIS year at all. Sounds so bad.
I left all my college work til last minute and when Lee left last weekend I had to get it all done. In one day. Feeling SHITBALLS about life as I usually do after he has gone. I went back to college for one day and then started (well, continued) to feel like shit and dad said I had a virus. Then I started chucking chunks. It was vile. I have been off this whole week, just curled up in bed between hurling into a bowl on the floor and visiting the loo. Just fucking hideous.
There’s not really much to write about, well nothing exciting at least. I had a perfect time with Lee. He came back from his Dad’s the day after boxing day and wasn’t in a great mood, but that’s understandable. He spent some time with his mum after that but kept coming back at night. I had my period (yeh, thanks for that. GREAT TIMING) so it was no sex but he still wanted to sleep in the same bad as me and cuddle up. Result. Stella’s boyfriend doesn’t stay with her when she’s on so I feel blessed that lee sees me as more than a shag at night. I just LOVE waking up all tangled with him. He’s got really hairy legs and it feels weird but I have got used to it hahaha.
We had another blue about me not wanting to tell my parents. I think I mentioned that my Nan somehow found out that Lee was in my room? She left me a note in one of my jacket pockets saying that she knew about ‘the boy’ and that she wouldn’t tell M&D but that I should be really careful. We’ve already been through the pregnancy scare once so we are both more aware of that possibility. I told him that it’s not long before I (hopefully) get accepted on the foundation course in London so we can be together. I just HAVE to get into Uni in London. What if I don’t? It’s not worth thinking about. My first choice is St Martin’s, not because lee is there, but it’s the best one in my opinion. My second and third choices are Chelsea and Kingston. I have applied already and I have to get at least a B in each of my A level subjects to get into St Martins. This is why I am freaking out most of the time and spend all my time working! I managed to persuade Dad to let me go to London to do my Art Foundation because there are NO foundations courses close by around here and because I have done A levels, that’s the next step before my Degree. Lee did it differently, I think he did BTEC so he could go straight to London and start his Degree.
I just can’t wait to get away from here, even though I love it for the serenity, lack of humans and woods and nature. I need to meet cool people, be with Lee, stop all this insane jealousy about Annabelle, and be in a place that inspires me and lets me be Casey.
I listened a lot to Lee playing guitar this holiday. I really want to learn but when he tried to teach me I screamed like a dick cos it really hurt my fingers! Here’s a GIF I made of him playing. I did it on Photoshop.
So tomorrow it’s back to the grindstone and the rat race. Fuck it. The one positive is that I’ll be starting driving lessons on Tuesday evening and the sooner I get my licence, the sooner I get a car and the sooner I’ll be able to motor on down to London whenever I feel the fuck like it. I would set off at about 11pm, drive for about 3 hours cos there wouldn’t be anyone on the motorways at that time really, and get to London at about 2am….spend a divine few hours in bed with Lee and then drive home by about 8am and get ready for college. Then die at about 2pm that day from being trashed! So what, Fuck it.
Oh forgot to tell youz. One of the prezzies Lee gave ‘us’ for Christmas was this cute pillowcase set. He has taken one with him though so we are both sleeping on them.
So ….dinner time for me now. Uggh I still feel a bit queazy. Oh well. I can’t stand the thought of anymore fucking soup. Vomtastic. I wish I could drink copious amounts of wine to get me through to February half term. So fucking LONG. Amber Leaf, red wine and Chester.
December 27, 2013
Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!
Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!
So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!
He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.
Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!
Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!
Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni
Get the recipe here:
I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!
Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”
I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.
I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’
So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!
Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!
Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:
OH MY DAYS!
AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!
We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!
Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉
- Thessaloniki, Greece or “Not all those who wander are lost” (youthinadvancement.org)
- Thessaloniki: Top 4 Attractions (ffatlifestylemap.wordpress.com)
- Christmas Eve (thisismysimpleblog.wordpress.com)
- Im Back!!!!! (missbazalgetteblog.wordpress.com)
December 15, 2013
So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.
So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.
Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.
Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.
Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.
one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.
Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!
Here’s the link to the blog:
I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.
This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:
For going out (when I’m not grounded…)
I would like to be wearing:
I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…
I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.
Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..
December 9, 2013
2: Ever been in love? I am in love right now. Crazily.
3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Looking back, no. If I broke up with Lee, THAT would be a terrible fucked up break up
4: How tall are you? short
5: How much do you weigh? no idea
6: Any tattoos? not yet
7: Any piercings? yes, belly and nose
8: OTP? wtf?
9: Favorite Show? American Horror Story
10: Favorite bands? So many..Paramore, Nirvana, Staind, Flyleaf..
11: Something you miss? Freedom
12: Favorite song? At the moment, Korn: Never Never
13: How old are you? 18
14: Zodiac sign? Scorpio
15: Quality you look for in a partner? Opposite to me
16: Favorite Quote? Freddy Nietzsche ”One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star”
17: Favorite actor? James McAvoy
18: Favorite color? Purple
19: Loud music or soft? Loud mostly.
20: Where do you go when you’re sad? under my duvet or out in the woods
21: How long does it take you to shower? 10-20 minutes
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? About 40 minutes
23: Ever been in a physical fight? Yes at Secondary School. Twice.
24: Turn on? Long hair
25: Turn off? Being a sheep (following the crowd)
26: The reason I joined WordPress? To rant to everyone or noone
27: Fears? Being trapped, Not seeing the world
28: Last thing that made you cry? When Lee left.
29: Last time you said you loved someone? Last night on Skype with Lee
30: Meaning behind your WordPress Name? I feel like I am half dead most of the time, somewhere in Pergatory.
31: Last book you read? John Green’s Paper Towns
32: The book you’re currently reading? John Green’s The Fault in our Stars
33: Last show you watched? American Horror Story Coven Episode 6 I think
34: Last person you talked to? Mum.
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? ‘Flirtyfriends’
36: Favorite food? Garlic bread
37: Place you want to visit? Russia
38: Last place you were? College
39: Do you have a crush? It has gone way past a crush
40: Last time you kissed someone? The day Lee left (and I kissed Lee, not waited for him to go then kissed someone else ha!)
41: Last time you were insulted? Tonight by Mum
42: Favourite flavour of sweet? Violet
43: What instruments do you play? None
44: Favourite piece of jewellery? Silver Pentagram
45: Last sport you played? For real? Probably Hockey at school 2 years ago. And badly.
46: Last song you sang? Paramore: Daydreaming
47: Favourite chat up line? I don’t chat up!
48: Have you ever used it? Obvioso non!
49: Last time you hung out with anyone? Saturday night with my Aunt
50: Who should answer these questions next? The ghost in my bathroom
- The Fault In Our Stars (the post in which I apologize to John Green) (straycatlogic.wordpress.com)
- Paper Towns Review and a Extremely Nice Place For a Date (skyumbreon.wordpress.com)
- Quotes from one of my favorite authors (kraycuppakarrola.wordpress.com)
- The Fault In Our Stars by John Green (paintingthegalaxy.wordpress.com)
- Paper Towns by John Green (juliesaysthings.wordpress.com)
- Dear John Green, (teensteach.wordpress.com)
November 10, 2013
Right then, I am determined to be positive all the way through this post. If I lie then I lie. Fuck it. (But I may have to put a bunch of foot notes at the end and admit some true shit!)
Ok so let’s start with my favourite subject, lee. Yeh so he finally backed down and created a Facebook page. I mean hell, is it THAT difficult?? Apparently so. I know I don’t spend much time on it either but it’s really nice to post stuff to each other, right? Well, yeh. It was cool to begin with but it’s kinda started to wear off. The novelty I mean. We Skype every day so what’s Facebook? That was his original argument and I contested it and now I hate to say I agree with him! Oh well. Anyone want to help me by making Facebook more interesting? Befriend me?
At least I badgered him into posting up a nice recent photo of himself. Wtf is his problem with his face? It’s THE most gorgeous face ON the Earth’s surface! What do you guys reck?
I caught him by surprise the day he left after half term. We were standing near the trees and the sun was peeking through the bare branches, illuminating him a bit. I had to lighten it a bit but it’s a good representation of Mr Chapman my lover!
I am pissed off this weekend (being positive has already become tedious!) because all his housemates are away and he’s there all on his own. We could set that place alight all alone this weekend! I’m glad Annabitch has gone. Apparently she is going through some counselling and has been cutting her arms. I feel bad for her (I suppose although not a LOT) cos her parents don’t give a shit, she’s only got this man-friend to fall back on (well, apart from Lee and she does that ALL the time) who beats up on her a lot. lee refuses to have him in their house so she goes off every so often to see him. Lee’s not happy about it and I know he loses sleep over her, but what can he do? He’s got his own family crap going on,even though his dad has started sending some money to his mum and Lisa, at last. Tool.
He’s going to be even busier soon cos he’s starting an Art Therapy course alongside his Fine Art degree. He wants to work with kids eventually which is cool I guess. I wouldn’t do that though, when I get my degree in Art I want to use it for something else like design. More money! lee isn’t like me in that. He reckons that money isn’t everything and we should use our talents to help other people. Ok,yeh. But I want to help myself have a good life as well!
Yep, I’m a selfish bitch! (That’s why me and Lee are great together. He’s the humanitarian and I’m the money grabber. We will be able to do great things hahaha! )
Dimitris is like me in that way. I’ve mentioned before how he and I are similar and we get on because of that, but sometimes hate each other as well! We went a week without Skyping or calling each other over half term because of one little comment I made and he took it all wrong. He is fiery and a bit judgemental like me (apparently, according to lee, very judgemental), and once he gets pissed off he can’t get through that feeling easily and so will retreat. I do the same and it drives Lee crazy as he just wants to talk everything out. I can’t and he gets pissed. I need time to heal Casey and then I come back and I can take the critique better. What’s up with that? Thing is lee takes offence, being hyper sensitive, and takes it all personally, whereas when me and Dimitri fight, we come back a few days later and laugh about it. Most of the time.
Yeh, so what about him? Well. He’s currently single AGAIN. He keeps saying that every time he gets with a new girl, he’s fine for a few weeks then he starts comparing her to me and subsequently dumps her. What can I say? I keep telling him how I feel, and it’s the truth. If I wasn’t with lee I would’ve been on the first train to Manchester months ago. We flirt a little, but I try not to let it go too far. he’s very gorgeous and attractive. We get on really well because we are so similar, but I am in love with Lee. Sometimes I DO think I might be in love with both of them, but I don’t think that’s possible.
College is still SHIT. I refuse to discuss it on this Blog because it already permeates too much of my time as it is. I always have a rant about it to Lee anyway so no more about the boredom and doom that IS my crushingly dull 6th Form. Yuuk.
Musically I listen to my favourites on a regular basis, namely when I fall asleep; Nirvana, Paramore, Panic! At the disco, Pearl jam/Eddie vedder.
Other much-listened to-lately are Flyleaf, Slint, Yellowcard and Sick puppies. Here’s a particularly fucking awesome video and track I love:
and on finding this I have also found some full albums such as these: I have just discovered Hurt. Fucking screaming.
Anyways I digress!
Talking of Youtube, I have been watching some awesome Vlogs and stuff by a girl called Sarah Hawkinson, who has her own Youtube Channel. I like her game cos she’s a vegetarian, she loves Rock/Metal music, horror films and also has a pretty cool style. At the moment she’s got a particularly fetching shade of purple hair. Check her out here:
Lee is off to work now. 6 weeks til I see him at Christmas, although he MIGHT get back here sooner if he doesn’t need to work. Same old as far as the finances go cos he needs money now for this Art Therapy Module…..
Oh yeh the gossip about Lisa and Joel! We had a great time and it ends up that those two are now an item but Lee’s Mum DOESNT know about it. Lisa thinks that she’ll freak, but Lee is all about the honesty again (oh man give it a break!) and keeps getting at Lisa to tell her. Saying that though, she has been on the phone to me most evenings going on about it in that she’s never gonna see him. Welcome to my World!!!! I do actually quite like her, but I feel a bit dubious about her newly found good style of being mildly goth and starting to listen to decent tunes. I know..I KNOW I shouldn’t judge and be shallow about appearances, but you can’t go from dancing around your living room to Lady Gaga and Britney ‘Speared’ to suddenly listening to Metallica! Morally WRONG! I will see…we talk a lot lately so I am giving her a chance. Lee would be stoked up if we got to be genuine friends.
I’m off to get food. Maybe back later but have got MOUNDS of work to get through later……………..oh and I MUST post those ghost pics I took with my Aunt!
May 27, 2013
Yes, yes…he is! He has just texted me and said that he’s gonna stay with his M&D and siss for a few hours as they’ve got family stuff to discuss. Fair play. He sounded a bit down so I have to be a bit sensitive and not go in there BOOM BOOM I’ve missed you etc etc and lung at him like I normally do. I must be growing up. I get the feeling I’m gonna have to calm down over the next few days as I sense a thunder storm brewing in the Chapman family. I haven’t see Lisa for a while but I heard that she has been off work and college. Why? I’m sure to find out soon enough….
I did a sketch of me today after I had got ready. I put it through an app on my phone. This is the original:
Then I put it through a retro cam on my phone:
Then..I put it through the weird app on my phone. Here are some of the best:
- For the Love of Art – A Sketch (thewhyaboutthis.com)
May 26, 2013
March 10, 2013
Yay! I finally found these VEGAN Doc Martens.
I have been wearing second hand ones for years as I thought it was less hypocritical than buying new ones. But my Aunt bought some and told me where to buy them. I LOVE them and don’t feel guilty any more. Also got dry feet as wearing Converse out in the rain isn’t always a good idea.
So for all you Vegetarians/Vegans out there who love Docs but don’t wear leather………..
Here’s the link:
- [Street Chic] Doc Martens And The Resurrection of Grunge Fashion (mymajicdc.com)
- A guide to Vegan Online stores (caseyepapadaki.wordpress.com)
- Vegan Docs (jaimegamblin.com)
February 17, 2013
I just found this and wanted to post it so I don’t forget to check out more from here. It has lots of cool links to other online shops as well.
Vegan shoes, boots and fashion online
- Vegetarian Shoes UK – big vegan selection including fake Doc Martens (UK)
- FunkeFeet – Vegan shoes marked with cow symbol for easy identification. Creepers, Mary Janes, chunky platform boots – they’ve got it! (US)
- Beyond Skin – Designer vegan shoes (UK)
- Bourgeois Boheme – Vegan fashion, including shoes, handbags and jewellery (UK)
- Honesty Cosmeticas – Vegan makeup, hair colour, toothpaste and more (UK)
- Good Goth vegan goth fashion – yep. Vegan goth. (US)
- Ethical Wares – Vegan shoes, plus fair trade clothes and hemp products (UK)
- Freerangers vegan shoes (UK)
- My Vegan Shoes – fashionable vegan boots and shoes (UK)
- Alloy – good selection of non-leather shoes recommended by PETA (US)
- Chadwicks – Cool boots and shoes in man-made leather (US)
- Chinese Laundry – vegan section for gorgeous shoes (US)
- Crystalyn Kae – vegan handbags and belts (US)
- Delia’s – Good selection of nonleather shoes (US)
- Dimarzio – Non-leather guitar straps (US)
- Alternative Outfitters – Vegan boutique (US)
- Moo Shoes – Expensive but rocking vegan boots and shoes. Do a lovely 14 eye fake DM. (US)
- Pennangalan – Alternative/goth footwear. Check, as they do leather too.
- Vixens and Angels – small but classy and cheap vegan shoes section (US)
Vegan online (general)
- Vegan Store – Huge choice of vegan products on offer (UK)
- Animal Aid – Vegan products from boots and shoes to booze and books (UK)