Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

20131226_181841

Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

Advertisements

So College is over til January. Yay. I have thrown my school bag into a corner of my room and intend to forget it til Lee goes to his Dad’s Boxing day. I can’t, just frickin CANNOT deal with it right now.

So I am playing the waiting game once again. Lee has been asked to please stay on in London and do some shifts in another pub and look after the student house, but he to come here beginning of the week so he gets time with me and his Mum before Christmas. I think Pops and Nan are coming here again. I spoke to my Greek Yiayia and Papous ON THE PHONE yesterday evening! What’s so amazing about that I hear you all yell. Well they don’t speak English and I have learned enough Greek to have a basic convo with them. Well chuffed.

Dimitri is on at me about meeting up before he goes back to Thessaloniki for Christmas. I would LOVE to meet up with him, but I must not forget that 1. I am still grounded like a fucking assclown and 2. He wants to climb inside my pantaloons, you get my drift. 3. I don’t know if I could resist that even though I love Lee. Weird shit going on between myself and these males in my life. Can’t figure it out.

Lisa has been calling around a lot. I told her about why I’m grounded and she swears not to tell her bro. I hate lying to him, but you know, I get so bored and lonely here all on my own. A bottle of red and a few rollies once in a while should be granted to me! Lisa smokes anyways….I have suggested she switch from Camels to Amber Leaf but she won’t. I can’t smoke Camels, fuck no. My chest will cave in.

Yeh so I am just waiting to find out when he’s coming. There was talk of Joel coming too, which would be ok I guess as I like the dude. Makes me laugh. I just need to spend time with Lee on our own, but I guess Joel and Lisa will be surgically joined at the hip (or groin area hahaha) anyways so that should be possible.

one worrying piece of news. Lisa told me that when she was in London, she got talking to Annabelle about her boyfriend and she told her that he is 10 years older than her and it’s like her parents have rented him to take care of her as he buys her all her stuff; clothes, makeup etc. She doesn’t love him and is trying to figure out how to break up with him as he has hit her before and threatened to crash the student house. She has slept in Lee’s room before as well. I didn’t see that! She is also scared that if she tells him to fuck off that her parents will disown her and she will have to survive on her own with no money. Bad luck. As long as she doesn’t try and latch onto lee as a boyfriend, I don’t care what she does. I mean, he is such a provider. Look what he does for his sister and Mum, working all hours to send money home as well as support himself on the miserly allowance his tool of a dad sends him.

Excited about the new novel I am working on with my Aunt. We share this Blog, so we can both work on each post before we publish. Hopefully we’ll get to work on more this holiday period and Lee will be able to help as well cos he has ace ideas for twisty tales of darkness!

Here’s the link to the blog:

http://thesilentangels.wordpress.com/

I also want to get all my clothes out of my ‘wardrobe’ (I don’t think there are hardly any clothes in my wardrobe, most are in piles on the floor right now hahaha) and see what I can do to revamp them. Lately I have just become a bit lazy with clothes, like for college I tend to wear black or grey skinnies with a dark blouse or maybe something like a band tshirt, a long cardigan,a scarf and Docs. Boring.

This is the kind of thing I am currently wearing:

For college:

casey college college casey long cardies like this

jacket

For going out (when I’m not grounded…)

casey now going out style

I would like to be wearing:

grunge 1 prefered 2 prefered 3 prefered

I just want to look a bit more edgy but without having to spend HOURS getting ready…

I’m hungry. I’m going to Skype Lee for a bit before he goes to work (hopefully for the last shift) and then go cook summats. Tonight, chill out, watch American Horror Story and maybe The Conjuring again. Mum and Dad are still bluing out at me about the smoking. This could go on for AGES. I get to walk Chester, so I get some fresh air, but when Lee gets back I want to go into town with him and Lisa and go to some gigs, maybe go shopping with Lee, which we haven’t done yet EVER, and buy him something cool for Chrimbo.

Lisa brings me tobacco..haha up yours M&D. We are not best buds by far but I guess you could say we are getting along ok. I don’t trust easily and I find most people fuggin annoying, so we shall see. We get to talk about Lee when she comes round though, so that’s a good thing. Oh man I just hope this holiday is going to be a good one. I need some good times………..

5602910438_af045a58be_z

images

tumblr_mkt4c9AbM01r0pk4ko1_500

So I’m still waiting to find out when Lee’s coming home.

I’m starting to think he doesn’t want to.

I’m just in limbo, not knowing when...I can’t make plans because as soon as I do, you can bet your asshole that he’ll suddenly announce he’s coming back and I’ll be in Outer Mongolia or somewhere!

Dimitri wants me to go to Thessaloniki.

Stella wants me to go to her’s.

My Aunt wants to come and see us.

I think Dad would let me go stay with the Greekies if I asked and that would really piss Lee off (well, I hope it would). Not playing games or anything….I can say what I want on my blog here cos no one is going to read it except for people I don’t know and especially not Lee.

I feel like shit and my evil heart wants to make him feel bad too.

I know that’s wrong but I feel massively cheated.

M&D are fed up with me moping around upstairs and Dad wants me to go work in the surgery. WTF. On reception!

Oh my life………..

 

 

Because lee’s not here yet. And I’m boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.

He’s working. Why? Well to cut a long story short, his Dad has decided that he’s not going to be sending his Mum and sister any money! WTF would be about right. I mean, it’s NOT right that he should do this, surely? Lee has been on the phone with him every night trying to sort it, but apparently his M&D had a huge row and that was the last thing he said to her. Lee is, of course, fuming with him for many reasons. The obvious being that he HAS to provide for his family even though they are filing for divorce. He will have to pay them money legally so why stop now and make it worse!? Poor lee has had to scrounge extra hours in the bar to send money back to his Mum while this childish situation gets resolved. That leaves me and him up in the air as to when he can come back home for the summer, as well as the problem that he can’t stay in his house over summer without paying rent, which is massive. His Dad’s not going to carry on paying for his rent (if he’s in such a fucking foul strop) for Lee to work to send money home to his Mum. lee said that he’s willing to lie to his Dad, saying that he’s got to stay and do Uni work, for the sake of being able to stay and earn some cash! Jesus fucking Christ.

I just listen to all this every night, trying not to get upset, trying to be supportive, thinking WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME!!!??? I don’t want him to have extra ball ache because I’m whining like a bitch at him. Fuck it!

Dimitri has gone to Thessaloniki for the summer and is, as we speak, at his parent’s summer house in Halkidiki. Mmmm. Jealous much? Hell yeh! I miss him. He hasn’t got an internet connection that can support skype so we just use msn and texting. Ouch. He told me that he’s dating three girls there already, all from Thessaloniki. Again, I try not to think about why I am scratched by the nails of the green eyed monster when he talks about it. I don’t know why.

He sent me this a few days ago. Twist the knife RIGHT into the wound why not?Diamerisma_agora_Thesaloniki_fotografia_19113222

Ok, this is the view he had of my (Grandparent’s) balcony when I was there earlier this year and we would sit outside til late in the night talking. looks like Yiayia has been clearing out a bit cos there are some cupboards and stuff there. I MISS MY ROOM SO MUCH!!!

I have been writing to my Greekies and I got a letter back from Yiayia the other day. I will post it on here, it’s amazing to see the Greek writing. I showed it to Dim on skype and he translated it for me. Awww I love my Greekies! I want to go back so much and I keep having dreams about it. I wake up and feel so sad. Lee is always there with me and Dimitri. I wish it could be like that…

296113_518772128176952_1759885843_n

So I haven’t been doing much, just moping around. I know I should be happy that college is over til September, but surprisingly, I am am feeling deflated after the exams. I guess it’s cos I feel like I am DOING something constructive in my mission to get away from here and go to London with Lee when I am at college and working towards exams. Afterwards it’s back to being 17 year old Casey who still lives with her parents in a house in the middle of nowhere. Going nowhere with only Chester dog for company.

I did get to go shopping with Mum (well, I say with, but she went to Next and I went to some charity shops) and these are two things I picked up. Cool eh?

shot_1369071924900 shot_1369071955956

There are so many things I want to do, but can’t. Like:

1. Get a tattoo on my wrist. (M&D forbidden).

2. Get a nose ring. (M&D forbidden).

3. Go to Greece and hang out with D.

4. Go to London and hang out with Lee.

5. Go to my Aunt’s and help her write the next novel about me and Lee. (I might get to do that soon actually).

Basically, this is what I have done every day since I broke up from college:

  • Got up around midday.
  • Taken Chester for a walk.
  • Showered and put makeup etc on.
  • Sometimes eaten breaky and mostly not!
  • Sent Lee and Dim a text message each and replied to them.
  • Tried to tidy up my room and sort out dirty clothes, taken some downstairs, shoved them in the washing machine.
  • Attempted to iron some but given up. How dull is that fucking job???
  • Gone for a walk in the woods again with Chester.
  • Read a book or magazine. (Currently reading The Ritual by …..some guy and can’t get into it!)
  • Surfed around on Youtube for any new stuff on paranormal investigations.
  • Listened to music. Current favourite includes Sneaker Pimps.
  • Had a cheese and pickle sandwich.
  • Written some diary stuff.
  • Talked to lee on the phone or Skype.
  • Stared out the window and missed Lee a lot.
  • Gone downstairs to eat with M&D. Avoided a lot of topics -of -the- day for example, what are you going to do for the next 6 weeks, Casey?
  • Helped Mum (not Dad you notice!) clean up the kitchen.
  • Back out to take Chester for a walk. Stayed out a long time cos I love this time of day. Twilight.
  • Watched TV in my room or some youtube vids.
  • Listened to music on my i pod. Dozed off.
  • Woken up at around 12 midnight to talk to Lee on Skype. He texts me if he sees I am asleep hahaha! How cool is that!
  • Watched a DVD or something else to try and take my mind off missing Lee (approximately 3am each night after he falls asleep).
  • Fallen asleep around 4:30am……………

Cool. Not. Very not.

Things have to change………..

tumblr_mamdj7sMLW1qeo4lho1_500

 

 

First off. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Why is my head still shoved full of wet cotton wool? My limbs feel like they have been sawn off and sewn back on by a clumsy drunken elf on acid.

I only just got up and had something to eat. Lazy biaaatch!

So. I spoke to a destroyed Lee last night. Divorce proceedings have now begun between his M&D. How can two people who created another human being as sweet, kind, considerate and loving as Lee, be at each other’s throats? I could understand if it was MY parents. I mean they have a devil spawn for a daughter mwahhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaarhhaaa! But no, seriously. It’s horrible. Lee is gutted and doesn’t know where his loyalties lie; with his Mum who didn’t want the divorce, or his Dad who instigated all of this but went through a nasty time being unemployed and getting into debt to provide for his family. I said that both of them need him and deserve his attention. I think he his angriest with his Dad though for moving out and not giving his Mum a chance.

I don’t want to get married EVER. Not even to Lee. I will have his love child and we will live in sin.

We had a slight argument because I was irritated and tired and so was he and I didn’t realise I was hassling him about when I was going to see his face again and it better be soon etc etc. He was like, PLEASE Case, give me a chance to work my last shifts and save some money to get back…and sort out my halls room and and and……..don’t keep going on….

Oh Ok.

Fuck.

He then fell asleep with his head facing the wrong way and his feet on the pillow. I could see the top of his head all night. He didn’t stir at all. Knackered out. We exchanged apologies this morning and he went out somewhere to try and sort out the end of that community project he is still doing with Annabelle. He didn’t have exams as such, just continual assessments and critiques, so he should officially have completed his course once this project is wrapped up. Better hurry the fuck up cos I miss you!

I hope bitch face doesn’t want to come here for summer.

So I am here, in my attic AS USUAL. Chester is on my bed and all I can see are HUGE piles of dirty clothes screwed up and flung all over the floor. Scraps of paper and paint and all kinds of crap from my Art prep for the 10 hour exam still littered all over my art desk and the floor underneath. Bollocks. I suppose that’s my next job! Mum is going to FREAK out when she sees all the washing.

She told me the other day that she will not take any responsibility this summer for the state of my room or my unwashed clothes, ironing or meals! WTF? Dad says I am spoiled and need to start looking after myself because Mum is not a skivvy. Oh yeh? So why doesn’t HE cook then? Why does she do EVERYTHING for him? Hypocritical as shit. Male shauvenist fucking pig attitude! Mum is so lame, she gets on my tits. Running around after Dad all day. Can’t she stand up to him? Get a fucking job so she doesn’t have to be at home all the time? HOW DULL!

Anyhow, I digress.

I need to know when D is going back to Thessaloniki for summer. I will be spitting!  His uni stopped a week or more ago but he is still hanging around. I think he’s waiting for his Dad to send him the flight money or summats.

What do I need to fucking do?

1. Tidy up.

2. Dye my pale blue hair. Although it looks ok somehow…

3. Get some summer clothes on the go…need to get into town and raid the charity shops.

4. Decide what I’m gonna do this summer. That depends on Mr Chapman!

5. Do some art work

6. Collaborate with my Aunt about the next spooktastic story about me and Lee!

7. Arrange for Stella to come here…I am NOT going there because a). I would not see Lee and b). She will always be with….him. (Dan? Chris? Can’t remember).

oh! Lee is back! Hahahaha he’s smiling! Best get this posted……….

 

 

Patience

May 26, 2013

ImageWaaaaah!

So Lee is coming tomorrow. He has to finish his shift tonight and get his pay and then he is COMING!!! Thing is it’s not going to be a great week for him as his Dad is leaving on Wednesday to go start the job in Leeds. I am not sure whats going on but it sounds like he’s got a small flat there for the time being so they dont have to up and leave. Phew. Lee sounded a bit stressed last night (although it was 3am) so whether there’s more to all this than he’s telling me well, I don’t know…..

I know he needs a bit of space with his family but I hope to fucking god we get plenty of time together. D has gone to Thessaloniki which I am slittingly jealous about but I have to see Lee or I will simply lose the will to live.

So AS USUAL I’m trying to get my college work done before the arrival. Cos lets face factuals, I will not be thinking about it after today. I’m not now actually so its kinda fruitless. The sun is out and so should I be. Even though I generally prefer the misery of the rain, I am in a shockingly great mood!

shot_1369071113532 (1)

Oh man.

Where to start?

Firstly. Why the silly amount of time without blogging? Laziness. Depression. Being uninspired.

I feel like I am nowhere at the moment, (yeh like what’s new, right?) and I don’t know who to trust or what’s real.

I started spiralling down into this pit of dispair about a week ago when I found out that Lee’s Dad has been offered quite a good job. Great you would say, and you would be right, except that it has a knock on effect on my relationship with Lee. It’s in Leeds which is about 40 miles from here so I guess the whole family will be selling up and moving there. This poses a number of problems as me and Lee are only supposed to be friends so on his trips back home from Uni his home will no longer be here, (5 minutes walk from me….easily reached night and day…my window easily accessible by climbing the tree…) but 40 miles from here. How is he going to visit me? Ok he WILL be able to, but I can’t see our parents allowing us to sleep in the same room….it won’t be the same! Fucking SHIT it sucks so bad. I have been skyping with my beloved a bit more lately, another reason I haven’t been blogging, as he has cut down his hours. He was getting ill and was telling me that he couldn’t do uni projects through feeling so shit bagged. I told my Dad because Lee didn’t want to worry his M&D. Dad had a serious word with his Mum and cos his Dad has been offered this job they said he could stop working in the bar altogether if he wanted. I hope he does cos then I will get to see his sexy ass during Uni hols. Cos frankly my friends, this situation SUCKS fucking eggs. the last time I saw him was Easter for about a milli second!

Dim invited me to Manchester last weekend. I really wanted to go but of course Dad said no. Mum was all ready to let me but Nazi man put his booted foot down and said NEIN! Fuck’s sake. I would have been able to stay next to his room with a girl called Tamara, we have even skyped a few times and she’s pretty awesome. She is doing a Fashion Degree. TBH though, from what she has told me (out of earshot of D) he wants to be more than friends. This I kinda gathered, but he also seemed cool with the fact that I’m with Lee so it has never been an issue. I told her that I found him hugely attractive and I defo would agree to being more than buds with him if I wasn’t so fucking IN DESPERATE LOVE with that Mr. Chapman!

It’s hard for me cos they are both so different and I love each of their differences. For example, Lee is the opposite of me in many ways like he is really patient and considerate of how other people feel. I, on the other hand, am not. I can’t wait for stuff I want and most of the time I don’t give a sonic shit about how other people feel. I am an only child, maybe that has some baring on it, I dunno. Lee is always telling me off for being self absorbed. I know I am and he helps me see that. Dim is funny, flirty, outgoing and a bit laddy sometimes, again the opposite of lee. He knows he’s fucking gorgeous and loves girly attention. Lee doesn’t know how divine his ass is and would never dream of outwardly flirting with anyone. Like with me, he wanted to be ‘friends’ first and then cos it had gone to the best friends zone, didn’t want to jeopardise it. Not D. He wouldn’t think twice if I said I would break up with Lee for him. I know it.

Lee is serious. He knows a lot about stuff like conspiracy theories and things happening in the world that are unjust…he is a really deep thinker and philosophises and analyses. D does to a certain extent but won’t enter into deep discussions. He laughs at me when I tell him about the ghost girl in my bathroom for example and keeps taking the piss out of the fact I won’t go to McDonalds or eat any meat. Lee is with me all the way on the meat thing and would not dream of going into McDonald’s unless to bomb it most probably!

D is helping me explore my roots which is a vital part of my life at the moment and he is my link with Thessaloniki. He makes me laugh until my sides crease and he is full of mischief. OTOH Lee is my rock. I can say anything to him and not get laughed at if I am being serious. He is the nurturer and the caring, beautiful soul that I wish I was. I am more like D in my attitude in that we find emotion hard to show. We would rather sit alone and play loud music until our heads explode than talk it over or write poetry like Lee does.

So they are my boys.

Plus D has been outrageously floozing with loads of girls since splitting up with Popi. I am too much of a jealous nutter to tolerate his ways methinks!

So I get to talk to Lee on Skype most evenings now. I ache for him! I usually get to talk with D on Skype every other day and he’s out most nights til stupid o’clock so I don’t get to talk to him after about 9pm.

College is ok. I am getting pretty good grades but it’s all a bit shitty really and I don’t hang out with anyone now. Kate found another friend and for some reason chooses to ignore me now. She has started to wear silly clothes from Topshop and her hair is all…normal. Ewwwgh. Stella is ok, I talk to her probs three times a week. She has got yet another new boyfriend so guess what? Yep. Negated Casey!

I have been reading a LOT lately. These are ones worth mentioning:

*The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

Worth mentioning because there has been a lot of hype about it but I couldn’t really understand why. I enjoyed it and felt fucking sad at the end (no spoilers!) but the style didn’t appeal to me. It’s too short..I mean the sentences are short and abrupt and the dialogue confusing. Look at this:

‘They licked the spoons and tipped the bowls and drank the rich sweet syrup. They looked at each other.

One more.

I don’t want you to get sick.

I won’t get sick.’

Hmmf???? WTF? No. I can’t feel the characters in this writing style. There was no depth.

*The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.

I loved everything about this book!!!!

First of all it’s set in Paris. I love Paris. It describes the (secret) life of a Concierge (like a caretaker) and the people who live in this one apartment block. The other main character is a very intelligent and observant 12 year old called Paloma Josse who hates her life and her upper class parents and plans to commit suicide on her 13th birthday! Chapters of the book are written as her diary that she begins with titles like

‘Profound thought No.1

Follow the stars

In the Goldfish bowl

An end’

The whole book is amazing because the Concierge reads philosophy and Paloma writes about it…and they become friends.

I can’t recommend it enough! Read a review here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/14/fiction3

What I am reading now…..*The Prisoner of Heaven by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Oh! I LOVE his books! I have already read The Shadow of the Wind and Angel’s Game and this is number 3 in the series. It’s gothic, it’s dark and it’s ghostly! All the books are set in Barcelona and have the same main characters. The plots are a little woven together as well which I love.

‘For Fermin Romero De Torres,

who came back from among the dead

and holds the key to the future.

13’

Read more about Carlos Ruiz Zafon here:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/

Here is The Angel’s Game which I think is the best one:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/theangelsgame.html

The next book I am going to read is *The Taker by Alma Katsu

The tag line is ‘An immortal love story’ so it’s either going to be a bag of shite or really great!

Here are some reviews, a mixed bag from what I can gather….

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7766064-the-taker#other_reviews

I will let you guys know on that one…but it does say ‘The Taker is a story of mystery, passion, unreturned tragic love, and the paranormal. It’s sort of adult dark tale with goth elements, paranormal romance and historical fiction.
This book is cleverly constructed and has a few stories within a story, it’s very well written – compelling characters, and intricately detailed.
The brilliant Alma Katsu is definitely an author to watch out for in the future!
If you are looking for a fantastic, brutal, heartbreaking and magical story, read THE TAKER.’

shot_1369070991280

Next up…oh actually no. I will stop rambling and post some charity shops finds and some good youtube viewings on my next post. Oh and some DVDs I have enjoyed lately. I have to talk to Lee sexy Lee now!

Laters……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know how or why, but I have been nominated for above award by

http://primalnights.wordpress.com

and

http://hauntedteenager.wordpress.com/

To be really damn honest here, I don’t know WHO reads my blog…and it doesn’t matter THAT much cos it’s a place for me to rant at (oh so many) things that make me CRAZY and just about everyday crap that occurs. None of my friends know I write a blog so it’s kinda safe and I feel free! I’m pretty sure that’s the case for a whole bunch of other Bloggers here as well, but anyways THANKS to these guys, I really appreciate it!

So now I have to do what I have to do….

Here are the Little Rules.

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website.

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award.

3. Present fifteen awards to deserving bloggers

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you have  linked them in the post.

5. Post seven interesting things about yourself

So here goes!

Here are my nominees (sorry not 15!) I am putting them in categories cos it kind of shows you facets of my personality and therefore you will understand a bit more about me… and also…you can select whichever you like to read based on my descriptions!

So.

General thoughts and diary style blogs

(some of which include rantings and stuff about relationships and similar issues that I blog about):

Avalanche of a Mindset  www.rhairyza.wordpress.com

I Speak Lyrics www.kec98.wordpress.com

Just another Teenage Blogger www.justanotherteenageblogger.wordpress.com

Life from the Queen of Hearts www.lifefromthequeenofhearts.wordpress.com

You are a Wallflower www.youareawallflower.wordpress.com

Primal Night’s www.primalnights.wordpress.com

Thank you all for making me realise I am not alone in feeling fucked up!

Ghosts/Horror & films/Dark Stories

Freaky Folk Tales www.freakyfolktales.wordpress.com

Graveology www.graveOlogy.com

My Life with Ghosts www.mylifewithghosts.com

Spider Goddess www.spidergoddess.wordpress.com (mystic subjects)

Animal Rights:

www.newsforanimalwelfare.com

Now for the bit that makes me cringe!

7 ‘Interesting’ (or not) things about myself:

  • I have got a birth mark on my left butt cheek in the shape (or design!) of a spider’s web and I love it..
  • I am half Greek. My Dad was born in Thessaloniki in the North. I am learning Greek!
  • When I was a toddler I fell into a well that my parents didn’t know existed and I was there for 12 hours. I wasn’t even hurt when they found me. Not a single scratch!
  • I have a ghost girl in my attic bathroom. I see her watching me sometimes.
  • I am an only child. I think that’s why I hate sharing stuff and I am anti~social!
  • I have got a dog called Chester. I love all animals and do NOT eat them or wear them.
  • One of my ambitions is to live on a self sufficient farm in the middle of a forest.

Thanks to everyone who follows me and reads my garbage! 🙂 34705_485251998184137_751667628_n

Animallib

Animallib (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes it’s just too much to even look at these. Today I put some as backgrounds on my lappy. I miss Yiayia and her stupid talk about boyfriends and why I dye my hair blue. Paps just used to sit there sipping coffee and beaming at me. It’s not fair. They are my flesh and blood but they won’t come to England. They think they are too old…..Yiayia has never been out of Greece, never been on a plane. What a life…just being at home all day learning how to cook and bringing up her kids. My Dad and my Aunt Sophia. God, she is a weirdo though! I dunno…I kinda liked her but she was so loud. Like, why dye your hair blonde if you have got naturally BLACK hair and olive skin? No! I would LOVE to have black hair and olive skin! Look at me. To say I am Half Greco, it sucks really that I took Mum’s complexion! WHY GOD, WHY?????

‘Itan para poli wraia na se xerw…..elpizw oti mia mera, tha ksanasinandoume…tha mou leipseis poli’

I don’t know if I remember that right….D wrote it down in English letters for me and wouldn’t translate it. I lost it though, I have looked everywhere for it. I didn’t dare ask dad in case it’s something ‘personal’ hahaha. I can’t google it to translate because it’s not in proper Greek letters………Damn!

Some more shots of the city of light!

1345_38421594710_1235_n

this one is near where we got off the bus in the centre. I LOVE the way it looks so intense with the shops and apartments stacked up…and then an ancient church next to it.

2166_47940759710_2253_n

a random night shot along the port front….can you tell I was wasted? hahaha

 395984_10150556354004711_1050633018_n

D took this…right down a step nearly touching the water in the port. I was too drunk to do it I would have landed in there for sure!

402277_10150556352949711_531871788_n

around the same area by day…

408824_10150556353604711_1478610061_n

random backstreet shot

409264_10150556353034711_191666433_n

D made me go up the White Tower even though I was shitting myself. He took this so I would be able to see the view at least from a camera. He called me ‘Kota’ which I believe is CHICKEN.

background please

ancient ruins in the midst of this heaving and wonderfully mad city centre! All the shops round here are hippy/goth/arty.

facebook_-19066223

abandoned baby! Oh yeh!

facebook_-513133700

one of the cafe’s where I drank copious Frappe’s (gliko me gala!)

facebook_1026775798

We walked this strip til we wore it down I reckon!

facebook_-1361255020

random cool shot of nice buildings…The National Bank I think

protest salonika

Some big protest…….can’t remember what about. Apparently it’s always happening. Good!

Oh MAN look at those apartment buildings!

What does Casey want for Christmas? One of those blue ones! Er…dream on.

Oh I was sent this video…D says it is one of the best (traditional) Greek singers and the song is about Thessaloniki.

<iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/OpoLvi_GQYA&#8221; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe

Σ ΑΝΑΖΗΤΩ ΣΤΗ ΣΑΛΟΝΙΚΗ

means something like; I explore or delve into Saloniki

http://www.greek-dictionary.org/translate-english/delve

I suppose like he wants to know everything about the place. Like I do!

I have been back for…*working it out*…oh, a week! Jesus I didn’t even realise it was a week ago since I flung my bags and laptop down on my bed in my attic room and wanted to die of exhaustion and from the black cloud that was pouring freezing, blinding rain onto my shit life.

Yeh well. As you can probs work out, I am non too happy to be back in this dark, cold, rainy country where no one smiles. My only saving graces are the two men in my life who are here. Lee and Dimitris.

Basically (I hate people who say that but there, I said it and don’t give a fuck) I have been catching up on all my college work and Skyping lee and Dimitri. Nothing else. I miss Thessaloniki so much it hurts. I have been trying to work out a way to go and live there but Dad says that it’s impossible nowadays with the crisis and all that jazz. He says it isn’t even worth me studying there as there are no good Universities for Arts or Design and I would have to know Greek to like, an AMAZING standard to even be able to get by. And A levels probs wouldn’t count as a way in cos money apparently has more standing than exam results. In other words parents BRIBE the universities to take their kids on. Really now?!! No wonder Dad studied here.

But that doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m so utterly damn confused about everything.

Sometimes I wish I had never gone to Thessaloniki but then…no I don’t cos it was frickin awesome!

I even miss my little garconiera.

I miss Dimitri. We got up to some crap! The last two nights we stayed up on the balcony til 3am and I got royally pissed and then he took me for drives around the city and we went for some beers on the VERY last night but don’t tell M&D cos they forbade it. Well they should know not to forbid Casey cos she will do it. For sure.

Yeh so what about Lee?

I got to Skype with him a bit more when I got back but it was late. Like 2am til fall asleep on top of the laptop type of late. He is working so hard and I am deeply shitting myself about him. He never stops! He has got dark rings under his eyes every time I chat with him and he slurs his speech. I don’t think his M&D realise how many shifts he is working right now. I feel like going over there and telling them but I think they’ve got enough to worry about. Like his Dad finding a job! My M&D have been helping out a lot like making them food and Mum has been there to help her clean and do stuff around the house. That’s more for a friendly ear though I reckon. Lisa said he had an interview while we were away but didn’t get it after all that so that made him feel loads worse. Shit. Lee is sending money home I think as well.

I know he loves me but he hasn’t told me for ages now. I don’t want to stress him out with my shit so I tell Dimitri everything. We have grown close and I afraid that I’m spending more time talking with him than Lee. What can I do though? He is also having probs with his girlfriend so we are kinda consoling each other. I think he likes me more than mates but I can’t ‘entertain’ that thought right now. Why do things happen when you least NEED them to? He has said I can go stay with him in Manchester whenever I want but I think, and this is the plain fucking truth, we would end up doing something and I don’t want that shit on my shoulders as well. We came pretty close to kissing in the car when we got back on the last night and we had been to this cool as SHIT rock bar above an old indoor market place. (I can’t remember the name of it now). He was looking at me right in the eyes….IN the eyes and he said that he had had the best week with me and he would miss me loads. We hugged and..and…and…well you know. It was on the cards but we both kinda laughed it off and got out the car. Awkwardly.

I love Lee with all my heart. It’s just that Dimitri is different to any guy I have ever met. He is part of my roots, part of that part of me that I have just found. That beautiful city of light. It’s so so so magical. He IS that place and so therefore he IS me.

I haven’t said anything to Lee or him about how I feel. I do feel lucky to have them both in my life though. Of course I told Lee about him and he didn’t seem to mind..when I told him we were just friends. Are we though?

Anyway. He will probably sort stuff out with his girl and Lee’s Dad will find a job and everything will get back to normal. I will soon forget how empty I feel now and how amazing Greece is. I will be comfortably numb, sitting up here dreaming about the summer hols when I can see Lee. Everything will be great again when he comes here and we play the game of climb the tree to my room and sleep together til dawn. Except the fucking tree will have leaves on it then so it’ll be a bitch to climb up and down. Hahaha poor Lee!

Yes. Life will be good again. I hope……..

For now I will be playing Greek Rock music as recommended by Dim (or Jim as his English buds call him) and posting some more of my Thessaloniki pictures so I can stare at them some more. And weep.

Let it continue…..

Xilina Spathia (The wooden Swords)

Xartinos Ouranos (Paper Sky)

Pix Lax (Punch Kick)

Monaxia mou ola (My loneliness is everything)

Nikos Portokaloglou

Pou isouna fws mou (where were you, my light)

(btw I am trying to translate some of these songs with the help of D of course. That last one has beautifully dark lyrics about love and pain).