Sex part 2

Rolling over, face buried in pillows then sheets then duvet, his smell engulfing me. My senses are so alive, so electric. I want to laugh and I want to cry. No, bawl. Scream my lungs out. Happy. Full. Empty. Sad. Ecstatic. He has gone but he is still here. In this bed. In my arms. What a night! He left at 6:30am. The alarm had been set before he even sneaked in, both of us being petrified that we would oversleep and get found out again. It was so easy. The hard thing was to let him go but after about ten minutes of hugs and kisses and longing looks, he climbed back out the window, me clinging to him til the last second, wishing he would drag me with him. Either that or stay. Locked in my attic forever. I have not been able to move since he returned, through the door this time, to say goodbye. Ironically mum let him come uo and see me in my room, saying she didn’t know why I hadn’t come down for breakfast yet!
Another 10 minutes of clinging and rolling around in our maelstrom of sheets before he put his beautiful soft hands on my face, looked deep in to my eyes and told me he loved me and that it had been the most amazing night of his life.
Goodbye was all I managed to say before the heat in the back of eyes threatened stupid tears. I managed to blink them away until he had left and I heard him say bye to mum downstairs. The crying started and hasn’t yet stopped. I don’t know how I can feel this sad and be this happy at the same time. I just want to wallow in this nest of a bed forever.

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