You know, I sometimes read back on my posts and lately the ones I’ve read back on are as dull as……..well, you know. Crap.

So instead of me going on about my solitary existence in Recluseville and my obsession with Annabitch, I will talk from now on, maybe sporadically though, about other subjects. Time allowing. And energy of course. Y’all get me on that.

I have just seen these quezzies on ‘justanotherteenblog’

http://xjustanotherteenblogger.wordpress.com/

and I thought they would offer some semi-interesting substance to my posts! So thanks to you, fellow blogger!

1. Weird things you do when you are alone.

2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

3. What kind of person attracts you.

4. What you wear to bed.

5. Five things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.

6. The person you like and why you like them.

7. Your opinion on cheating on people.

8. Something you’re currently worrying about.

9. Your last kiss.

10. Your views on drugs and alcohol.

11. Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

12. Things you want to say to an ex.

13. A date you would love to go on.

14. Something disgusting that you do.

15. The best things to happen to you this week.

16. Three things you are proud of about your personality.

17. Things that make you scared.

18. Disrespecting parents.

19. Something that never fails to make you feel better.

20. The last argument you had.

21. Something you can’t seem to get over.

22. Ten things about you people don’t really expect.

23. Something you always think “what if…” about

24. Things you want to say to five different people.

25. Ten ways to win your heart.

26. Your religious beliefs.

27. Talk about your siblings.

28. The month you were happiest this year why.

29. A picture of yourself.

30. What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month

Ok so let’s begin!

Weird things I do when I’m alone….(which is most of the time btw!)

  • I put on loads of layers of clothing to see how many I can wear before I literally can’t move my arms. Then I can’t get them off! It’s strangely comforting, such as a straight jacket I assume. Eeeek.
  • I ‘test’ things out, like a prediction tool. For example I sit at my desk and stare out the window and go ‘If a bird flies past before I’ve counted to 10 I will end up going to the same Uni as Lee next year.’ Yeh I know. Lame.
  • I like sitting in weird places in my attic room to get different perspectives. Like, I will go into the corner near the bathroom and stand on my head with legs against the wall and take a photo.
  • I leave my skype on all night so I can watch Lee sleeping. Stalker-weird! (But he does it too so that’s ok).
  • I leave my dictophone on all night to record EVPs. I am sure my bathroom is haunted.
  • I find the lamest songs of the moment on Youtube and sing to them in a thrash metal voice. Faves include Miley Cyrus.
  • Ask myself questions. And answer them. I never disappoint myself like other people do……….

I used to do stuff like this with my poor hand made rag dolls but I’ve grown out of that now….at least I think I have…hmmmm

 

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BORED!

I really can’t cope.

I mean, I should be happy, right? I said not so long ago that if only me and Lee were together I would be ok, fuck that he is 100s of miles away. So why can’t I go back to that innocent time?

It’s dull. I am sitting here on my (unmade) bed, laptop on my knees, looking out the window at the cold cold evening that has just drawn in and covered me in darkness.

Mum and Dad are not speaking to me. What’s new? Well, because we had a row about driving lessons and me working in the surgery at weekends.

I DON’T WANT TO!

I have got sooooooooo much college work to do, I still have to do all my own cooking, shopping and cleaning (pffff) and it’s HARD and dull. All I want to do is sit and skype with Lee and Dimitri, lay there reading a book while Lee works on his art work…or watch movies online together.

Look at my room. It’s MASSIVE. I actually did clear it up and it looks really spacious but it’s freaking me out. Too tidy. I cant see my stuff kicking around on the floor. It looks cold and unlived in.

The bathroom is getting more and more freaky by the way. While Lee was here most nights, I didn’t see or hear anything, but since he’s gone back, I hear weird low level humming and I SWEAR a voice humming and singing…I can almost make out words….it’s a girl. I know it. I want to know who she is and why her spirit is still lingering here, around me.

Yeh so the condition is if I want driving lessons I have to work at the fucking surgery with Dad on my back all morning. What the hell. Then because I have to caj a lift off mum to go to ASDAs foodfuckingshopping, that means that I will finish at 12:30 and go straight home, grab a sandwich and go straight out with mum. I have to tag along and wait for her to shop and she goes around like, EVERYWHERE, getting bargains when I finished shopping an hour before. Could be at home talking to Lee. But no. Lee works Saturday nights as well so I don’t get to skype his sexy ass until 1am. That leaves Sunday when I have to do COLLEGE WORK. When does this leave me a frickin life?????

NEVER. EVER.

I am miserable.

I know I keep going the fuck on about her, but AnnabitchBelle is PISSING me off as well. Now I find out that no only did she take over HIS room during the summer while he was here, but she slept IN HIS BED and she is WORKING with Lee in Rock Retro, the student bar. FUUUUCK!!!

I know he doesn’t have feelings for her beyond platonic, but it still winds me right the hell up. I HAVE to get to London during half term. End of. Feeling jealous is simply NOT an option any more.

So what I am doing to take my mind off all this shit?

Reading!

I have just finished the 2nd book in the BEAUTIFUL DEAD series. ARIZONA. Ghostly, weird and raw.

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This is the blurb about the first one, called JONAS:

”Not alive. Not dead. Somewhere in between lie the Beautiful Dead …Something strange is happening in Ellerton High. Phoenix is the fourth teenager to die within a year. His street fight stabbing follows the deaths of Jonas, Summer and Arizona in equally strange and sudden circumstances. Rumours of ghosts and strange happenings rip through the small community as it comes to terms with shock and loss. Darina, Phoenix’s grief-stricken girlfriend, is on the verge. She can’t escape her intense heartache, or the impossible apparitions of those that are meant to be dead. And all the while the sound of beating wings echo inside her head… And then one day Phoenix appears to Darina. Ecstatic to be reunited, he tells her about the Beautiful Dead. Souls in limbo, they have been chosen to return to the world to set right a wrong linked to their deaths and bring about justice. Beautiful, superhuman and powerful, they are marked by a ‘death mark’ – a small tattoo of angel’s wings. Phoenix tells her that the sound of invisible wings beating are the millions of souls in limbo, desperate to return to earth.  Darina’s mission is clear: she must help Jonas, Summer, Arizona, and impossibly, her beloved Phoenix, right the wrong linked to their deaths to set them free from limbo so that they can finally rest in peace. Will love conquer death? And if it does, can Darina set it free?”

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Here’s the Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Dead-Jonas-v-ebook/dp/B003HVTH4O

Then this one.

shot_1379961773859I found it tucked away on the very bottom shelf of a charity shop, all yellowing and smelly. And it’s fantastic! It’s by the woman who wrote ‘The Spiderwick Chronicles’ and it’s really dark.

”Do you believe in faeries? Not the soft, gentle kind, but the sinister, feral kind – the ones that wreak havoc on everything in their path…Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother’s rock band, until an ominous attack forces them back to her childhood home. To the place where she used to see Faeries. They’re still there. But Kaye’s not a child anymore. This time she’s dragged into the thick of their dangerous, frightening world. A realm where black horses dwell beneath the sea, desperate to drown you…where the sinister Thistlewitch divines dark futures…and where beautiful faerie knights are driven to perform acts of brutal depravity for the love of their uncaring queens. Once there, Kaye finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms – a struggle that could end in her death…”
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Art wise I am so into these artists’ work right now……..

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HERAKUT!!

Ok, must click off and get this posted. Just seen Mr C sex man walk into his room, waving at me……

Yes, yes…he is! He has just texted me and said that he’s gonna stay with his M&D and siss for a few hours as they’ve got family stuff to discuss. Fair play. He sounded a bit down so I have to be a bit sensitive and not go in there BOOM BOOM I’ve missed you etc etc and lung at him like I normally do. I must be growing up. I get the feeling I’m gonna have to calm down over the next few days as I sense a thunder storm brewing in the Chapman family. I haven’t see Lisa for a while but I heard that she has been off work and college. Why? I’m sure to find out soon enough….

I did a sketch of me today after I had got ready. I put it through an app on my phone. This is the original:

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Then I put it through a retro cam on my phone:

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Then..I put it through the weird app on my phone. Here are some of the best:

PaperArtist_2013-05-27_14-57-58 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_14-58-19 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_14-58-41 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_14-59-22 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-03-01 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-03-13 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-05-18 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-06-27 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-06-45 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-07-16 (1) PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-07-48 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-08-22 PaperArtist_2013-05-27_15-09-16