Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

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Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

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And he’s here!

October 23, 2013

I have been waiting all week for this and FINALLY he has just texted. He’s about 10 minutes from here, in the car. The only downer is that his buddy Joel is bringing him in his car so he’ll have to stay over. Conclusion? No midnight rendezvous meet up climbfest up the tree! Boooooooohooooooo…………

How the fuck am I gonna cope, laying here when he’s two minutes away? ALL night? I haven’t seen him for 7 weeks or more….it feels like 7 years!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg.

music will get me through…..a few dvds until I fall asleep…..I might make my Aunt sit up all night with me and ghost hunt to take my mind off it. We have caught some weird shit in my attic room and bathroom over the last few nights. I’ll post them if anyone’s interested in paranormal stuff then please comment.

We have been discussing the new novel by the title of SILENT ANGELS. I’m not going to disclose what that refers to, only that it’s the PLACE where the story unfolds!

oh MAN. Another text. He’s almost here. oh fuckety fuck. Do you know what? Fuck THIS I’m going to meet him and snog his face. Joel knows about us so he’ll have to excuse the vom.com while we crush each other to death in the driveway!

Laterz! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! :)))))))))))))

 

Lee went back to London yesterday.

I’ve literally just managed to drag my depressed ass out of bed. I don’t know why I thought I had to do it because now I can’t even be assed to do anything. It’s cloudy and I feel cold. I’m sitting cross legged on my messy bed wrapped in my duvet that I haven’t changed (cover-wise) for about a month. No kidding .

I didn’t sleep much last night. I had some bad ass dreams that made me wake up in a complete stress panic and at about 2:30 I decided not to go back to sleep so I fucking just went out for a long walk for like, FOREVER.

He left at about 10am. He was booked on a coach from town to London and got there at 3 in the afternoon and fucking bitch Annabelle was waiting for him at the coach station at Victoria. Like I really needed to know that? He texted me and then I didn’t hear from him at all last night so he basically left me here on my own for the first time in what? 2 months? FUCK.

I don’t even know how to write how I’m feeling. I don’t know WHAT to write. Thing is I don’t know WHAT to do about life at all right now. I can’t stand the thought of having to go back to 6th form on Monday and start the whole numb-skull process of getting through each fuck boring dull day again with the same shit. I know how it will go; Get up at 7, get ready, have breaky, catch the bus….have 3 classes of various crap, then go home and do homework, skype with Stella, Lee and Dim and stay up too late reading or watching movies, fall asleep….you get the black picture!

What can I do to stop the rot of 2013/2014 setting in? Apart from the half terms and holidays when I (hopefully) get to spend time with Lee.

It hasn’t been all romance and flowers in a meadow of passion!

We haven’t, or should I say I haven’t, got over that issue about me being almost pregnant. We spent a good week after that not really communicating. I felt like we weren’t suited on a non-romantic level..like we had just been surfing on a huge wave of lust for all this time and hadn’t noticed how little we have in common. I know we HAVE cos we spent the first gazillion years being best buddies, but when something like that hits you, it’s like, woahh and what the actual fuck do we do now!

Lee wants to get married in his twenties and have a family, at least 3 kids. I don’t. Hence the big hole in my heart. And when I say I don’t I really fucking MEAN I don’t. I want to travel, I want to go work and live abroad like my Aunt did, I want to be wild and free and a fucking liability in my 20s not some slipper wearing, bun of hair wearing, apron tied mother and housewife dying of boredom. I would defo become a drug addict or severely alcoholic. Lee or no Lee, I can’t do it. I had visions of us doing all the crazy shit together! Yes, MY crazy shit which I had never discussed with him because I ASSUMED we both shared that desire.

Fuck my fucking life.

stella thinks I should break up with him now. She reckons the longer we carry on the worse it’s gonna be when we break up like a few years time when he wants THE FAMILY. How the HELL can I? I love him to absolute distraction! He’s the other( better) half of me.

We haven’t talked about this because let’s face facts. I am 17 years old, yes nearly 18 but…wtf should I have to talk about THIS for????

I don’t know if it has ground into his brain as deep as it has in mine, but he seems a bit more distant, like we both suddenly grew older by 10 years. He is now 29 and I’m 27. Somehow I don’t think we’ll still know each other by then and THAT makes me want to lay down and die, quite frankly.

Stella’s like ‘There are so many other guys you could go out with and meet, and you’re off to Uni as well so imagine it there, all those sexy rocker boys.’

I DON’T WANT ANYONE ELSE.

Well, except perhaps Dimitris, but let’s not discuss that in this post.

Mum’s calling me.

Ok so I will try and muster up the energy to lift my fingers up and write some more later. I have a load of work to do that of course I forgot about during the holidays. I could have done it as well, Lee being at work every morning, but that’s me. Procrastinator supreme.

Fucking shit.tumblr_m2nds6CIuU1qfdwsio1_400

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