spending time with LeeBee!

That’s what I am calling my dude now cos he got stung this afternoon! No, I shouldn’t laugh, but it was by far the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen…I will write about it when I can stop crying from laughing. Yes, he’s fine now, don’t worry!

He’s back with me as from this morning! It has been the classic scenario, he gets here and spends time with Mum and Lisa then comes to be my best mate in front of my M&D, (and gets stung by a tiny bee and freaks out like a girl hahahahahahaha!) then goes back home to eat and then back here in the evening to carry on pretending to be my best friend, then climbs the tree circa 1am……..well at least I hope to holy crap he does….later on.

We’ve already had ‘the convo’ about why I can’t just tell my Nazi parents. I’m 18, yes, I know that BeeBoy, (rotfl) but then they wouldn’t give us as much freedom. Think about it. Although, he did say, and I have to admit, I sat and considered this…I could stay at HIS house cos his Mum is cool about us. I mean he’s 20. She trusts him. Unlike my parental prison guards.

But then, mine would forbid me to stay there, so wtf…..and it’s only 5 minutes walk away so my dad would stroll along down and knock on the door. Then Lee’s Mum would be in shit and she works for Dad and needs the money, so then? No. Let’s keep it


just for a laugh:

(and in case you are wondering, yes, I am in fact mildy drunk as I write, at this precise moment in time)

except we don’t belong to anyone else!

Oh I’m laughing so hard right now I think I just dislocated a rib!


Going out, baby..GOING OUT!

October 25, 2013

Lee’s taking me out, oh Lee’s taking me out…oh Lee, Lee, Lee. HE IS TAKING ME OUT!

Yeh, so Joel has gone back to London and Lee is going to get taken back by his Mum on Sunday night. I think Lisa and Joel are an ITEM because I went round there today and they were all cozied up on the sofa, clearly more than friends. I asked Lee and he raised his eyebrow in that SEXY way he does when he’s not sure about something or he thinks something’s dodgy as fuck, and then smiled. He was like, Oh man Joel! JOEL and my SISTER? I think he’s cool ¬†with it though. I wonder how cool Marie is? Lisa is the same age as me (nearly 18) and Joel’s lee’s age, 20, nearly 20.

I made lunch for him today and then we took Chester out for a long long walk in the woods where we met. We made out bigtime in our clearing and we almost went way too far. It was freezing cold and wet, but we nearly did. I really missed his soft but manly guitar playing artist’s hands and his warm soft lips…..grrrrr! Then we stumbled back home and found that M&D were OUT so we spent a scrummy couple of hours upstairs carrying on from where we left off in the woods….yummy yum yum yum. We managed to get ourselves showered and dressed, downstairs drinking coffee when the Nazis got home.

Lee told me that one of his old mates from college is playing in his band tonight and he wants us to go. It’s in a pub, not a massive gig, but it’ll be fantasmagoria! I think it’s called ‘Leatherblack’. heavy metal. I can’t wait.

So, we’re catching the bus into town in like….20 minutes so I’ve got to post this and get going. Getting a taxi back to HERE later on. I’ll try not to drink too much else I’ll just get home and crash with no yummy yumzi with Lee…I have to make the most of it while I can! Getting drunk v sex with lee? No comparison!

Oh he’s here. I think I look ok. My hair is a bit flat, but I love the colour at the moment. Pale blue pastel. I found a nice new eyeliner as well and it looks ace with my hair. Just wearing black skinnies and a black lacey blouse with cut out shoulders and my Docs. Ready to go! Just another squirt of my Black XS perfumio and my skull scarf and faux leather jacket and…..I’m off!



down and out cold

June 2, 2013

I can’t believe he has gone.

Again I feel lost, cold, empty and alone.

The only relief is to lay in my bed that still smells of him, pull the sheets over my head and breathe….breathe and make believe he’s here again. Relive every second I can remember.

My God, what is this misery…..

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I want to smoke again. I want to drink myself numb. Just once. (or maybe more) Just to get through this next few days.

Fuck I am so miserable ūüė¶


May 1, 2013

~This is just my all time favourite~


Depressed…or just bored?

February 3, 2013

Ok so my last few posts have been morbid. I don’t want this one to be the same~ moaning, missing Lee, bored with life. The thing is I want to write amazing, interesting blogs, but when I get to the weekend and look back on the week I realise there’s nothing interesting to write!¬†


I know I’m not a normal teenager. Last night, Saturday night, what did I do? I took Chester for a very long walk in the woods, got very wet, came back, washed him down, went upstairs, sat on my bed for ages staring outside at the tree tops listening to Veronica Falls, watched a documentary on YouTube about parallel universes, texted Lee (many many times), went downstairs and stole a glass of wine from the kitchen (M&D had dinner guests) watched some more stuff about Paranormal Investigations, watched American Horror Story (must blog about that at some point. Violet is ME. Her dad’s a Doctor, she’s an only child, grungy, moody, likes Morrissey, hangs out with ghosts in an old mansion house…) and then waited to skype Lee. Then remembered it was Saturday night and we don’t skype on Saturday night. Why? Well because he goes out with his art student buddies…..’nuff fucking said about that…another reason I hate Saturday nights…


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Called him. He didn’t answer.

Waited for the attic room to consume me in my jealousy and longing.

It didn’t. Unfortunately.


I tried to write something here but I couldn’t even manage one single line.

I tried to write a list of things I love to cheer myself up. Here’s what I came up with:

  • Chester and our walks in the woods.
  • Skyping (with Lee and Stella)
  • Reading strange books. Eg Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker, Stephen King…
  • Watching documentaries about ghosts, parallel universes (a new interest of mine), social issues, asylums, criminals etc
  • Drawing and painting (subjects including above themes)
  • Listening to music. (Band names too many to mention)
  • Surfing the web to find ideas for clothes/outfits and upcycling
  • Going to charity shops and buying things…ie clothes that are made from amazing fabric to cut up for upcycling. (If I find a style that I like, for eg a blouse, I cut it up carefully along the seams and lay it out as pieces. Then I make patterns in the fabric I want that match exactly then sew them all together to make a new blouse. Get it? I might have to post a demo to show everyone.)

Things I want to do: (Not including all the ‘things’ I want to do with Lee!)

  • learn Greek. I am half Greek and my dad says he will teach me.
  • Go to Salonika. That’s where Dad is from and my grandparents that I don’t know live there. I will be able to talk to them if I learn Greek. (Kalimera is good morning. I remember cos my mum said ‘Kalamari’ instead which is squid!)
  • Have a bunch of 3 or 4 really good friends that come round and sit in my attic room, drinking wine and talking.
  • Join an URBEX group. (Urban Exploration~exploring abandoned buildings)
  • Do proper Paranormal Investigations (starting in my bathroom hahaha!)
  • Have the inspiration to paint more.
  • Learn to play violin (M&D have already said hell no!)

Ok so now I need to figure out how to inject some enthusiasm into my Sunday.



Alone in the attic….

December 3, 2012

Yeh, so I want to talk more about Lee.

I still think that he was hinting when he said sending roses was inappropriate unless he was my boyfriend. After all, he was the one who approached me in the woodland behind our houses in the summer. He was the one who kept watching me and then trying to get my attention whenever he saw me walk past his house. Why would he do that? He’s got loads of mates from here, he told me that, so why would he want another one? Yes, we are amazingly close friends, but I have always felt some electricity between me and him. I don’t think I’m imagining it. I could hardly sleep last night and I’m knackered today. I was thinking about everything that has happened since June and I don’t know what he really wants from me. If he wanted me as a girlfriend, wouldn’t he have said so before now? That evening when he got back from London and he was waiting for me when I got back from hunting in the woods for my ipod; the way he hugged me. Come on! Then again, he’s really sensitive. He’s not the type to go headlong in a macho, dickheaded way and expect me to go along with it, like most guys do. Like they’re sent from some sacred place and we have to fall on our knees. No. Lee isn’t like that.

Kate reckons he’s as scared as I am. Maybe he doesn’t want to spoil our closeness. The night we talked after he sent me the flowers, I could tell I had ¬†upset him because he wasn’t responding to me like he usually does. He went all quiet and I can tell when he does false laughter. I tried to explain that I LOVED the roses and that I would accept them in any capacity (friend or girlfriend) but all he said was, really quickly, ‘It’s ok, Case, really.’ and started talking about some new album he bought. I’ve probably driven him right away now. Should I send him some flowers back? Put a note in that says something like ‘I sent you these, even though you said it was inappropriate. Maybe we should make it appropriate?’

He would get that.


November 25, 2012

Hayley Williams

November 8, 2012

I’ve just found this piccie of Hayley. I love her style. I could dye my hair like hers, maybe a bit darker. Those eyes are cool as well.


I don’t like copying, but a bit of inspiration never hurt. Maybe a combo of those eyes I previously posted and hair like this but with some purple underneath. YEP!

I LOVE her in this vid as well.


UPDATE: Click here to see how my hair is right now. Result! What do you think out there? Let’s post our hair dye ideas!



November 1, 2012

Oh. My. GOD.

I actually hate Halloween, so last night I thought I may as well read a book or something after I had skyped with Stella. She was all up for dressing up and doing some trick or treating but really, no. My life is dark enough already without inviting it in by dressing up as vampires (Stella’s idea) and roaming the streets in the blinding rain, me on my own btw and her with Chrissie. She wanted us to have our phones on video call so we could see what each other was doing. Stoopido.

Anyway, I digress. So I had had a good rant with S about P and felt a bit calmer. I got to the point last night where I really¬†didn’t give a shit about it but you know when you’re all alone and your mind starts tumbling over itself like a rock that gathers snow…well that happened and I was laying there just raging. I won’t start myself off again, just to say, the guy is dumped. Soon. And Lee is coming (yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!) so I don’t need him in the way quite frankly.

So, yes I was on my bed and I had a book in my hand…my bedroom door was CLOSED as mum and dad had come back from some party at about 11 and I didn’t want them coming in. (Door closed means KEEP OUT and leave well alone). I wasn’t reading. My brain would take in about three words and then I would be thinking about Phil and Lee and would have to go back and read the lines before..it was so fragmented I shouldn’t have bothered. I just saw this black shadow appear across the door. At first I thought it was the shadow of a tree outside, but there are no freakin trees outside my window.¬†

I sat up thinking that maybe it was just my eyes… with the lamp on it could be just me. It stayed there. Then I started getting a bit freaked. I just stared at it and couldn’t drag my eyes away. It could have been hours for all I knew. Then, I started seeing the shape of a head and shoulders. (You probably think I’m just losing it at this point). Then I noticed legs. It was about the same height as me but I couldn’t make out any features (and I wasn’t in any rush to get up from the bed and start walking towards it to find out more).

I didn’t have my phone near the bed to take a pic. Can’t believe it.

As soon as I focused on looking around for my phone, I knew it had gone. Sure enough I looked at the door…no shadow. In the light of day I’m thinking, maybe it was just my imagination, but I can still see it in my head. I wasn’t even that scared at the time, just calm and curious. I dunno.

It took my mind of Phil Herring for the rest of the evening anyways.


I don’t know what to do about it. No text this morning, no Facebook message off him. Loser on a grand scale.

Anyways I’m off to see Stella and Chrissie. Dad’s taking me. I need to get my head straight about what I saw last night in my room.

One last thing. I see I’ve got a few likes for my post! Yaaay. Thank you, whoever you are. I have also followed you guys and I WILL check out your blogs.