Happy New Year. Maybe.

December 27, 2013

Yeh so Lee is at his Dad’s with Lisa. Until tomorrow night. Yay!

Oh my GOD every time I see this dude he gets sexier, I swear! He just looks and smells so amazing to me, I can’t understand how other girls refrain from throwing themselves at him and raping him!

So I said he was turning up at about 10pm but it went a bit tits up because he got here at 9pm and Mum let him up to my room without shouting up that he was here. He caught me having a sneaky fag out the bathroom window! He wasn’t happy about it and said I reeked of it, but I shut him up by snogging his gorgeous face off. He said he had to go back home and see his Mum and Lisa and I was like, ok sexy but when are you coming back to ravish me? Ha!

He did come back. We spent an amazing night together, neither of us slept and M&D were all about the quezzies next day cos I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Oh yeh, they have lifted the ban on me having fun just until Lee goes back. Thank God. I told him about it anyways and he wasn’t happy about my smoking but said he doesn’t own me and therefore can’t tell me to stop. I explained that I don’t smoke much and he seemed ok about it. Just concerned about my health which is fair enough. Even if he had told me to stop I wouldn’t have done cos I am so fucking bloody minded.

Christmas Eve I went to Lee and Lisa’s and we watched some TV and a couple films. Joel stayed until about 10pm and then had to go, he wanted to drive back in the night, back to Surrey, and spend Christmas with his family. Lisa was gutted. I felt for her. I went back home and spent some time with Gramps and Nan before they went off to bed. Then of course waited for Lee to climb the tree at midnight and ……..*£(&^$%^^&&!!!!!

Christmas day was better than what I thought it would be. I got up pretty late, around 11am and Mum was freaking out because she thought I hadn’t made my Christmas dinner veggie style. But I had, it just needed microwaving!

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Jamie Oliver’s Vegetarian Cannelloni

Get the recipe here:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/christmas-honeycomb-cannelloni

I got dressed up in a long silky jade green skirt, a black loose weave jumper with stars in a kind of glittery thread, purple tights and my docs. I have left my hair a pale shade of blue and it looks like it’s got purply lilac in it cos my Aunt put some semi permanent streaks in it the other week! I should have taken a selfie but tbh 1. I’m not that vain and 2. No one wants to see my ugly mug splayed across the internet!

Then I went to get Chester in and put his Christmas collar on him, then called Lee to say hi and Dimitri in Greece. I went downstairs and sat with the oldies while M&D were in the kitchen preparing dinner and Nanna goes ”So, Casey, who is the tall, dark and handsome boy I saw running across the yard early this morning?”

I died. Shrivelled up and almost blacked out.

I sat there and felt like I wanted to die. Then I burst out laughing. You know when you are so shocked, like when someone tells you some really bad news and you laugh cos you don’t know what else to do? Yep. And I couldn’t stop. On and on. I was snorting and snotting everywhere. Dad poked his head round the door and asked me what the heck was going on….I had to leave the room. I stayed in the downstairs loo for about 15 minutes and Mum came and asked me if I was ok and that she wanted a wee. I came out and walked back in. Nanna was asleep! Pops winked at me and whispered ‘It’s alright, love, your nan can keep a secret!’

Jesus.

So then I opened presents. I got a new sewing machine from Pops and Nanna, which I have wanted for EVER, 18 driving lessons from M&D and guess what was attached to the voucher? A certificate, like a promise from Dad that when I pass my driving test, he will BUY ME A CAR!!!!!

Yes, you read it right. BUY ME A FUCKING CAR!

Then Dad gave me my present from Yiayia and Papous in Thessaloniki. Two envelopes. The first one had a letter inside from Olympic Airways saying that I had two return flights to Thessaloniki this summer and I could phone them up and arrange the dates when I was ready. TWO!!!! Second envelope. I opened it and there was a booklet in there about Greek Language courses in Thessaloniki. Yiayia had put a note inside saying that I could research this online and let her know which one I wanted to do and she would go ahead and book it and pay for it! I went online and found it:

http://www.ikariancentre.com/lang/en/greek_language_courses_thessaloniki

OH MY DAYS!

AND LEE CAN GO WITH ME!

We can stay in Yiayia and Papou’s garconier!

Well stoked!

Oh man. My Mum is calling me down to eat. I’ll try and post again soon but Lee is back so….hibernation mode 😉

 

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Going out, baby..GOING OUT!

October 25, 2013

Lee’s taking me out, oh Lee’s taking me out…oh Lee, Lee, Lee. HE IS TAKING ME OUT!

Yeh, so Joel has gone back to London and Lee is going to get taken back by his Mum on Sunday night. I think Lisa and Joel are an ITEM because I went round there today and they were all cozied up on the sofa, clearly more than friends. I asked Lee and he raised his eyebrow in that SEXY way he does when he’s not sure about something or he thinks something’s dodgy as fuck, and then smiled. He was like, Oh man Joel! JOEL and my SISTER? I think he’s cool  with it though. I wonder how cool Marie is? Lisa is the same age as me (nearly 18) and Joel’s lee’s age, 20, nearly 20.

I made lunch for him today and then we took Chester out for a long long walk in the woods where we met. We made out bigtime in our clearing and we almost went way too far. It was freezing cold and wet, but we nearly did. I really missed his soft but manly guitar playing artist’s hands and his warm soft lips…..grrrrr! Then we stumbled back home and found that M&D were OUT so we spent a scrummy couple of hours upstairs carrying on from where we left off in the woods….yummy yum yum yum. We managed to get ourselves showered and dressed, downstairs drinking coffee when the Nazis got home.

Lee told me that one of his old mates from college is playing in his band tonight and he wants us to go. It’s in a pub, not a massive gig, but it’ll be fantasmagoria! I think it’s called ‘Leatherblack’. heavy metal. I can’t wait.

So, we’re catching the bus into town in like….20 minutes so I’ve got to post this and get going. Getting a taxi back to HERE later on. I’ll try not to drink too much else I’ll just get home and crash with no yummy yumzi with Lee…I have to make the most of it while I can! Getting drunk v sex with lee? No comparison!

Oh he’s here. I think I look ok. My hair is a bit flat, but I love the colour at the moment. Pale blue pastel. I found a nice new eyeliner as well and it looks ace with my hair. Just wearing black skinnies and a black lacey blouse with cut out shoulders and my Docs. Ready to go! Just another squirt of my Black XS perfumio and my skull scarf and faux leather jacket and…..I’m off!

Laterz!

~C~

Songs of silence

May 29, 2013

That was an awesome evening…he has left me highly frustrated and hornsome now…and M&D ARE STILL UP!!! They are NEVER still up at this time (12:10 in the night). WHY? Why now? lee keeps texting me…’Can I come back yet I need you…I want you…..”

This is seriously TORTUROUS!!!!

I love this track for night time lazing:

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we ‘watched’ these

I say watched…..pffff. You know. And yes, Mum DID come upstairs. Put it this way thank god we’ve got creaky stairs.

Oh finally I think they have gone to bed.

Off to sleep with  you both!!!

Oh no it’s chucking it down out there…….well I’ll just have to make sure Lee gets straight out of his wet clothes as soon as he gets here.

Bad girl. Very bad.

*grinning*

Night 3 part 1

May 29, 2013

Lee is here. Yes, in my room!

My M&D are downstairs (two flights actually cos I live in the attic room as some people know) and I have to leave the door open (yawn) and Mum reckons she’s coming up at ‘regular intervals’ to check on us. AND the cheeky cow said to Lee when he turned up about half hour ago, ”It’s not that I don’t trust you Lee, it’s Casey that is the liability.”

WTF now? !!!!

Lee’s face was a fucking picture. I could tell that despite everything going on with him, he was dying to laugh. Ha. Hilarious Mum. Jesus.

Casey’s face was a picture as well! ~ Lee.

Hahah now we are writing together? He’s pissed cos I won’t let him read any of my previous blogs and he doesn’t know how to use WordPress…Yeh as if I could keep anything from you anyhow!

Let me read some stuff then!~ Lee

Nope!

And we are drinking. I’ve got some G&T called Alfie and Lee has got some beer. He’s now looking through my DVDs to watch. That’s til about 11:30 when he will obediently go downstairs and say goodnight to M&D, go home and then come back via the tree later on when the world is sleeping.

I don’t think we will be doing much sleeping…………..

No we sure won’t! (~Lee)

There you go, that’s a promise!

Lee gives me a side glance and smirks a real sexy one…

I’m trying to take a photo of him but he keeps tickling me…..nah. How can someone so gorgeous be so self conscious?

LET ME TAKE A PHOTO OF YOU THEN, CASEY!!!! ~Lee.

Ok this is getting daft. Time to snuggle. Do you think my Mum will come up? Lee is tutting. Yeh be patient Casey know I know!

ooppppps sorry Mum!

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yes I cut it down cos I snapped as I pounced on him and I looked hideous….

Night 1

May 28, 2013

 

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Poor Lee. His M&D are splitting up. Hence his Dad is going to live in Leeds. His mum and siss get to stay here so Lee will be coming here for holidays which is good for us (selfish Casey) but right now it’s all raw.

He climbed up to my room at half past midnight and just collapsed on my bed in silence. Then he told me everything. He cried a bit. I just lay there stunned, not knowing what to say. I’m not good with intense emotions, especially coming from something I don’t understand. If my parents split up, I don’t think I would be that bothered. That’s the honest truth.

All I could manage was a few ‘oh my god’ s, which he must have thought lame as fuck. Then after a while he rolled over and hugged me (of course I obliged) and we stayed like that for a while. He kept thanking me for being there and listening to him. I must have done right after all.

Then he started snoring.

I guess this is where Casey has to grow up and realise that life can get in the way of passionate wild nights of sex.

I set the alarm for 6am and after lying there in his bear-like arms for about a blissful hour (secretly hoping he would wake up and ravish me) I must have fallen asleep too. When the hideous thing woke us up this morning, we talked for a bit longer and he said he felt a bit better from just being able to rant to me. He promised we would hang out later today and with a long kiss and hug, he disappeared into the morning haze. He looked so sexy, his hair all over his sleepy eyes.

I feel like I have turned a corner. We slept together but didn’t sleep together. Isn’t that kinda cool?

It was also good to be there for HIM for once and to see HIS vulnerable side. It’s usually him there for me, giving advice about college and my parents. Yes, defo a good night.

I couldn’t resist taking this photo…

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I have been back for…*working it out*…oh, a week! Jesus I didn’t even realise it was a week ago since I flung my bags and laptop down on my bed in my attic room and wanted to die of exhaustion and from the black cloud that was pouring freezing, blinding rain onto my shit life.

Yeh well. As you can probs work out, I am non too happy to be back in this dark, cold, rainy country where no one smiles. My only saving graces are the two men in my life who are here. Lee and Dimitris.

Basically (I hate people who say that but there, I said it and don’t give a fuck) I have been catching up on all my college work and Skyping lee and Dimitri. Nothing else. I miss Thessaloniki so much it hurts. I have been trying to work out a way to go and live there but Dad says that it’s impossible nowadays with the crisis and all that jazz. He says it isn’t even worth me studying there as there are no good Universities for Arts or Design and I would have to know Greek to like, an AMAZING standard to even be able to get by. And A levels probs wouldn’t count as a way in cos money apparently has more standing than exam results. In other words parents BRIBE the universities to take their kids on. Really now?!! No wonder Dad studied here.

But that doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m so utterly damn confused about everything.

Sometimes I wish I had never gone to Thessaloniki but then…no I don’t cos it was frickin awesome!

I even miss my little garconiera.

I miss Dimitri. We got up to some crap! The last two nights we stayed up on the balcony til 3am and I got royally pissed and then he took me for drives around the city and we went for some beers on the VERY last night but don’t tell M&D cos they forbade it. Well they should know not to forbid Casey cos she will do it. For sure.

Yeh so what about Lee?

I got to Skype with him a bit more when I got back but it was late. Like 2am til fall asleep on top of the laptop type of late. He is working so hard and I am deeply shitting myself about him. He never stops! He has got dark rings under his eyes every time I chat with him and he slurs his speech. I don’t think his M&D realise how many shifts he is working right now. I feel like going over there and telling them but I think they’ve got enough to worry about. Like his Dad finding a job! My M&D have been helping out a lot like making them food and Mum has been there to help her clean and do stuff around the house. That’s more for a friendly ear though I reckon. Lisa said he had an interview while we were away but didn’t get it after all that so that made him feel loads worse. Shit. Lee is sending money home I think as well.

I know he loves me but he hasn’t told me for ages now. I don’t want to stress him out with my shit so I tell Dimitri everything. We have grown close and I afraid that I’m spending more time talking with him than Lee. What can I do though? He is also having probs with his girlfriend so we are kinda consoling each other. I think he likes me more than mates but I can’t ‘entertain’ that thought right now. Why do things happen when you least NEED them to? He has said I can go stay with him in Manchester whenever I want but I think, and this is the plain fucking truth, we would end up doing something and I don’t want that shit on my shoulders as well. We came pretty close to kissing in the car when we got back on the last night and we had been to this cool as SHIT rock bar above an old indoor market place. (I can’t remember the name of it now). He was looking at me right in the eyes….IN the eyes and he said that he had had the best week with me and he would miss me loads. We hugged and..and…and…well you know. It was on the cards but we both kinda laughed it off and got out the car. Awkwardly.

I love Lee with all my heart. It’s just that Dimitri is different to any guy I have ever met. He is part of my roots, part of that part of me that I have just found. That beautiful city of light. It’s so so so magical. He IS that place and so therefore he IS me.

I haven’t said anything to Lee or him about how I feel. I do feel lucky to have them both in my life though. Of course I told Lee about him and he didn’t seem to mind..when I told him we were just friends. Are we though?

Anyway. He will probably sort stuff out with his girl and Lee’s Dad will find a job and everything will get back to normal. I will soon forget how empty I feel now and how amazing Greece is. I will be comfortably numb, sitting up here dreaming about the summer hols when I can see Lee. Everything will be great again when he comes here and we play the game of climb the tree to my room and sleep together til dawn. Except the fucking tree will have leaves on it then so it’ll be a bitch to climb up and down. Hahaha poor Lee!

Yes. Life will be good again. I hope……..

For now I will be playing Greek Rock music as recommended by Dim (or Jim as his English buds call him) and posting some more of my Thessaloniki pictures so I can stare at them some more. And weep.

Let it continue…..

Xilina Spathia (The wooden Swords)

Xartinos Ouranos (Paper Sky)

Pix Lax (Punch Kick)

Monaxia mou ola (My loneliness is everything)

Nikos Portokaloglou

Pou isouna fws mou (where were you, my light)

(btw I am trying to translate some of these songs with the help of D of course. That last one has beautifully dark lyrics about love and pain).

 

 

 

dreaming

February 25, 2013

Did that really happen?

I am assured by my beautiful lover that yes, in fact it did! I don’t want to spill all our private stuff on here, it’s not appropriate, but I am just overwhelmed by how I feel, how it has changed everything in my life. All the stories I have heard about nightmare first experiences of sex….and mine couldn’t have been better. I was in heaven until we fell asleep cuddled up at about 3:30am. We only had 3 hours sleep but I felt more alive than ever before afterwards, even though he was falling over trying to get dressed in the dark and sneak down the tree back to his house before any of our parents woke up. I remembered to tell him not to enter the garden at the back cos of Chester, who would have gone apeshit if Lee had appeared creeping past his little house.

I do not know how I got through today at college. I don’t remember much of yesterday only that I couldn’t get up out of that warm nest of a bed that smelt of Lee…Lee’s skin and Lee’s warmth. I still haven’t changed the sheets or pillowcases and won’t for ages. Hahahaa. I didn’t even want to have a shower but thought I should seeing as I had to face M&D sooner or later yesterday evening!

Oh we have spent hours on the phone talking and going over those delicious sexy moments again and again. He was soooooo gentle, I think I was the one who was a bit rampant but he wasn’t complaining! Oh I want to talk about it from the first second he slipped into bed with me but I can’t…secrets…for him and me only!

All I will say is that it was perfect. We had candles, we had warmth, we had time, we took it slow….we got to know what each other likes, we laughed a lot and had fun. We were like two people who fit together, like we were separated and now we have found our other halves. Oh I long for it again. I wish I could just have a kiss, a hug and look from those deep dark eyes of his…feel those silky hands running all over my skin…….

Casey….stop…. 🙂

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waiting

February 23, 2013

So Lee just left.

I am in my room waiting for M&D to go to bed and settle down. They are still moving around. I know this because I’ve got my lights off and my attic room door open so I can hear noises floating up the stairs.

I am to text him when I’m sure they are asleep and he is going to come to the tree which grows under my back window. He will climb up, because I have give him detailed instructions on how to do so, and then he will be in my room for the night. 

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Sex part 1

February 23, 2013

Ok I know I am going to get shitloads of hits from that title alone. Perverts may now fuck off because this post isn’t for you. This is quite serious actually and personal. I don’t even know if I’m going to end up pressing ‘publish’ or not!

Right, so obviously Lee and I have been close friends for…8 months almost. I know about his ‘relationships’ and exs, but now that we are in love, I don’t really like to think about the stuff he has told me about! I myself have not yet gone ‘all the way’ with anyone, the closest to it was with that moron Phil and we were just fooling round. Not wanting to go into it in much detail (I was no way near in love with him and it seems foul now) we got naked but it was cut short by his drunk brother coming in. Thank God actually! I am also, for the record, proud that I haven’t slept with anyone yet and pleased because I know it’ll be Lee who I love with a passion and who respects me and loves me back.  Lee has had sex with two girls (ouch) one of them was when he was 16 and  a french exchange student called Julietta. The other was with a girl he was with for about 6 months. (Penny). He was madly in love with her (ouch once more) but she moved abroad with her M&D and they lost touch. He’s 19, nearly 20, so it’s not like he has really been a slut. 🙂

Now this is the thing. I was talking to Stella last night when Lee had gone (and we had gone right to the bottom of the garden in the dark to have a long goodnight snog where no one could see us). He said that he was finding it really hard to control himself and wished we could just spend the night together snuggled up in bed. (swoon). I said I felt the same but how could that ever happen? He was the one that had been going on about us behaving like mates to cover up our feelings and risking being grounded and split up! Anyways we left each other feeling all frustrated and…well you know….fucking horny!

So Stella was being honest as usual. She is a good mate because she likes indulging in the heady excitement of it all but always says stuff that is serious and could go wrong. In this case she pointed out that Lee is almost 20, at Uni surrounded by beautiful girls (like fucking Annabelle she meant) and that how can I expect him to NOT want sex? OUCH x 500!!! She is right as well. I was being a bit naive or just trying not to think about stuff like that. I wanted it to be all fairytale love…I didn’t consider the male sex drive thing.

So today. We have been out all day around and about. Lee was a little bit cold towards me first thing, not like he wasn’t speaking to me, just with the affection. I asked him if he was feeling bad and he admitted yes; he was trying to back off so as to make it easier to walk away. He said he had hardly slept the night before from imagining me and him in a ‘plethora of hot positions’ (his words) and he laughed. So I started the discussion, saying that I didn’t want him to feel this way, it is bad enough that we are in a long distant relationship and have to wait months to see each other, let alone that when we do, we can’t sleep together. He was quiet for a while, thinking. We were sitting on our coats at this point, under a tree cos it was snowing a bit. He said that he knew I was a virgin (yaaaaaaaaaaak how childish that sounded) and that I had to be sure I wanted it. He didn’t want to push me into anything. I was the one who wanted to push HIM into it I told him. He laughed but his face was serious. I just kept saying I wanted it. BADLY. He was entwining his fingers round mine as he looked down, contemplating. I felt really alive and strong and confident. I kept saying stuff like he was the sexiest. hottest guy I had ever met and how lucky I was to be in love with my best mate…that I trusted him 200%. I thought I should stop and let him talk a bit and he gave me a scrummy hug and stayed with his arms round me. He asked me what we should do about it.

Well, me being Casey the relentless rebel, suggested that he climb up my tree and get in through the window. TONIGHT. (I was only half joking!) He made a tutting noise and poked me in fun, as that was what got us into trouble before, me climbing down to meet him. We sat in silence for ages and he suddenly he turned to me and said, ‘Ok then, I’ll do it.’

He’s coming round later on and we’re going to have some wine with M&D and watch a DVD. Then our plan is going to be put into place before he leaves at about 11. I feel sick but so fucking excited. If this works….oh my god…..I’m going to sleep with Lee!

I will write tomorrow. If I haven’t died of passion………..has anyone ever done that? Heart attack from sexual pleasure????

ohmygodohmygodohmyfuckinggod!

 

Arrival

February 21, 2013

So I went back to sleep til about 11:30 when Lee called me and said he was up and eating breakfast. He had managed to explain to his parents what he needed to do and they were apparently cool with it. All my Mum and Dad said was ‘Oh, so his girlfriend’s not here with him then?’ Which OUTRAGED me inside. I just smiled and said no.

I told M&D that I would be going out with Lee to do some sketching and take photos for my Textiles project and they didn’t say anything. (It seems that we are out of the woods (hahaha) as far as suspicion goes. They think he’s still with Annabelle). I took Chester out for a bit and then went off to meet Lee on the path that joins our houses. I was sooooooooo excited and nervous as well because we parted acting like mates and didn’t get chance to kiss or anything. The woods at the back of here are so dense and no one goes there cos there are no other houses around. Conveniently!

He was already waiting, standing there grinning with his scrummy hair hanging down over his eyes. It has grown. Yum. I ran up to him and he put his arms round me and swung me round. I thought my heart would explode. OH MY GOD. He smelt really nice as well, some scent I don’t remember him wearing before. Meltdown. We were both laughing like idiots and then his face came down and he was about to kiss me when we realised we were a bit exposed for that show of affection. We could see his house from there so that meant we could be seen as well. We walked off towards the thickets and wooded area, I was teasing him and trying to grab his hand and he was pushing me away with his shoulder and whispering ‘not yet’ and smiling like a kid….we got into the woodland clearing and he grabbed me, pulled me down onto the ground and started planting kisses all over my cheeks and eyes. Oh jesus. Then he kissed me properly and the entire universe spun away and I was a weightless, mass of nothing except star dust. It was THE most amazing (I don’t know) 5 minutes of my life.

Eventually we came up for breath. He stared into my eyes and smiled. I just thought, this was worth waiting for. It has all been worth it. Every night of no sleep. Every depressing day at college thinking what the hell am I doing…all the stinging thoughts of Annabelle. All of it. I don’t regret this relationship, not for one milli-second.

We DID actually get some art work done and some photos taken, although we also got a lot of lip action going as well! It has all been too long coming and we need to make up for lost time. I just want to eat him. Never had that raging desire for anyone like this. Clearly he feels the same way because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself all afternoon…hugging, tickling, arms round me, holding my hand….aaaaaaaaaaaaaa heaven.

So tonight he is going to stay at home for a while and print out the photos and put everything in order. (Look like he is doing something substantial!) Then he say he will call and we can decide what to do. I think it will only be us two sitting in the kitchen or living room with M&D coming in and out. But that’s ok. He’s here.  I love him so much! 

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