Book reviews, boyfriend sagas and relationship issues!

May 20, 2013

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Oh man.

Where to start?

Firstly. Why the silly amount of time without blogging? Laziness. Depression. Being uninspired.

I feel like I am nowhere at the moment, (yeh like what’s new, right?) and I don’t know who to trust or what’s real.

I started spiralling down into this pit of dispair about a week ago when I found out that Lee’s Dad has been offered quite a good job. Great you would say, and you would be right, except that it has a knock on effect on my relationship with Lee. It’s in Leeds which is about 40 miles from here so I guess the whole family will be selling up and moving there. This poses a number of problems as me and Lee are only supposed to be friends so on his trips back home from Uni his home will no longer be here, (5 minutes walk from me….easily reached night and day…my window easily accessible by climbing the tree…) but 40 miles from here. How is he going to visit me? Ok he WILL be able to, but I can’t see our parents allowing us to sleep in the same room….it won’t be the same! Fucking SHIT it sucks so bad. I have been skyping with my beloved a bit more lately, another reason I haven’t been blogging, as he has cut down his hours. He was getting ill and was telling me that he couldn’t do uni projects through feeling so shit bagged. I told my Dad because Lee didn’t want to worry his M&D. Dad had a serious word with his Mum and cos his Dad has been offered this job they said he could stop working in the bar altogether if he wanted. I hope he does cos then I will get to see his sexy ass during Uni hols. Cos frankly my friends, this situation SUCKS fucking eggs. the last time I saw him was Easter for about a milli second!

Dim invited me to Manchester last weekend. I really wanted to go but of course Dad said no. Mum was all ready to let me but Nazi man put his booted foot down and said NEIN! Fuck’s sake. I would have been able to stay next to his room with a girl called Tamara, we have even skyped a few times and she’s pretty awesome. She is doing a Fashion Degree. TBH though, from what she has told me (out of earshot of D) he wants to be more than friends. This I kinda gathered, but he also seemed cool with the fact that I’m with Lee so it has never been an issue. I told her that I found him hugely attractive and I defo would agree to being more than buds with him if I wasn’t so fucking IN DESPERATE LOVE with that Mr. Chapman!

It’s hard for me cos they are both so different and I love each of their differences. For example, Lee is the opposite of me in many ways like he is really patient and considerate of how other people feel. I, on the other hand, am not. I can’t wait for stuff I want and most of the time I don’t give a sonic shit about how other people feel. I am an only child, maybe that has some baring on it, I dunno. Lee is always telling me off for being self absorbed. I know I am and he helps me see that. Dim is funny, flirty, outgoing and a bit laddy sometimes, again the opposite of lee. He knows he’s fucking gorgeous and loves girly attention. Lee doesn’t know how divine his ass is and would never dream of outwardly flirting with anyone. Like with me, he wanted to be ‘friends’ first and then cos it had gone to the best friends zone, didn’t want to jeopardise it. Not D. He wouldn’t think twice if I said I would break up with Lee for him. I know it.

Lee is serious. He knows a lot about stuff like conspiracy theories and things happening in the world that are unjust…he is a really deep thinker and philosophises and analyses. D does to a certain extent but won’t enter into deep discussions. He laughs at me when I tell him about the ghost girl in my bathroom for example and keeps taking the piss out of the fact I won’t go to McDonalds or eat any meat. Lee is with me all the way on the meat thing and would not dream of going into McDonald’s unless to bomb it most probably!

D is helping me explore my roots which is a vital part of my life at the moment and he is my link with Thessaloniki. He makes me laugh until my sides crease and he is full of mischief. OTOH Lee is my rock. I can say anything to him and not get laughed at if I am being serious. He is the nurturer and the caring, beautiful soul that I wish I was. I am more like D in my attitude in that we find emotion hard to show. We would rather sit alone and play loud music until our heads explode than talk it over or write poetry like Lee does.

So they are my boys.

Plus D has been outrageously floozing with loads of girls since splitting up with Popi. I am too much of a jealous nutter to tolerate his ways methinks!

So I get to talk to Lee on Skype most evenings now. I ache for him! I usually get to talk with D on Skype every other day and he’s out most nights til stupid o’clock so I don’t get to talk to him after about 9pm.

College is ok. I am getting pretty good grades but it’s all a bit shitty really and I don’t hang out with anyone now. Kate found another friend and for some reason chooses to ignore me now. She has started to wear silly clothes from Topshop and her hair is all…normal. Ewwwgh. Stella is ok, I talk to her probs three times a week. She has got yet another new boyfriend so guess what? Yep. Negated Casey!

I have been reading a LOT lately. These are ones worth mentioning:

*The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

Worth mentioning because there has been a lot of hype about it but I couldn’t really understand why. I enjoyed it and felt fucking sad at the end (no spoilers!) but the style didn’t appeal to me. It’s too short..I mean the sentences are short and abrupt and the dialogue confusing. Look at this:

‘They licked the spoons and tipped the bowls and drank the rich sweet syrup. They looked at each other.

One more.

I don’t want you to get sick.

I won’t get sick.’

Hmmf???? WTF? No. I can’t feel the characters in this writing style. There was no depth.

*The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.

I loved everything about this book!!!!

First of all it’s set in Paris. I love Paris. It describes the (secret) life of a Concierge (like a caretaker) and the people who live in this one apartment block. The other main character is a very intelligent and observant 12 year old called Paloma Josse who hates her life and her upper class parents and plans to commit suicide on her 13th birthday! Chapters of the book are written as her diary that she begins with titles like

‘Profound thought No.1

Follow the stars

In the Goldfish bowl

An end’

The whole book is amazing because the Concierge reads philosophy and Paloma writes about it…and they become friends.

I can’t recommend it enough! Read a review here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/14/fiction3

What I am reading now…..*The Prisoner of Heaven by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Oh! I LOVE his books! I have already read The Shadow of the Wind and Angel’s Game and this is number 3 in the series. It’s gothic, it’s dark and it’s ghostly! All the books are set in Barcelona and have the same main characters. The plots are a little woven together as well which I love.

‘For Fermin Romero De Torres,

who came back from among the dead

and holds the key to the future.

13’

Read more about Carlos Ruiz Zafon here:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/

Here is The Angel’s Game which I think is the best one:

http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/theangelsgame.html

The next book I am going to read is *The Taker by Alma Katsu

The tag line is ‘An immortal love story’ so it’s either going to be a bag of shite or really great!

Here are some reviews, a mixed bag from what I can gather….

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7766064-the-taker#other_reviews

I will let you guys know on that one…but it does say ‘The Taker is a story of mystery, passion, unreturned tragic love, and the paranormal. It’s sort of adult dark tale with goth elements, paranormal romance and historical fiction.
This book is cleverly constructed and has a few stories within a story, it’s very well written – compelling characters, and intricately detailed.
The brilliant Alma Katsu is definitely an author to watch out for in the future!
If you are looking for a fantastic, brutal, heartbreaking and magical story, read THE TAKER.’

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Next up…oh actually no. I will stop rambling and post some charity shops finds and some good youtube viewings on my next post. Oh and some DVDs I have enjoyed lately. I have to talk to Lee sexy Lee now!

Laters……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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