Sex part 1

February 23, 2013

Ok I know I am going to get shitloads of hits from that title alone. Perverts may now fuck off because this post isn’t for you. This is quite serious actually and personal. I don’t even know if I’m going to end up pressing ‘publish’ or not!

Right, so obviously Lee and I have been close friends for…8 months almost. I know about his ‘relationships’ and exs, but now that we are in love, I don’t really like to think about the stuff he has told me about! I myself have not yet gone ‘all the way’ with anyone, the closest to it was with that moron Phil and we were just fooling round. Not wanting to go into it in much detail (I was no way near in love with him and it seems foul now) we got naked but it was cut short by his drunk brother coming in. Thank God actually! I am also, for the record, proud that I haven’t slept with anyone yet and pleased because I know it’ll be Lee who I love with a passion and who respects me and loves me back.  Lee has had sex with two girls (ouch) one of them was when he was 16 and  a french exchange student called Julietta. The other was with a girl he was with for about 6 months. (Penny). He was madly in love with her (ouch once more) but she moved abroad with her M&D and they lost touch. He’s 19, nearly 20, so it’s not like he has really been a slut. 🙂

Now this is the thing. I was talking to Stella last night when Lee had gone (and we had gone right to the bottom of the garden in the dark to have a long goodnight snog where no one could see us). He said that he was finding it really hard to control himself and wished we could just spend the night together snuggled up in bed. (swoon). I said I felt the same but how could that ever happen? He was the one that had been going on about us behaving like mates to cover up our feelings and risking being grounded and split up! Anyways we left each other feeling all frustrated and…well you know….fucking horny!

So Stella was being honest as usual. She is a good mate because she likes indulging in the heady excitement of it all but always says stuff that is serious and could go wrong. In this case she pointed out that Lee is almost 20, at Uni surrounded by beautiful girls (like fucking Annabelle she meant) and that how can I expect him to NOT want sex? OUCH x 500!!! She is right as well. I was being a bit naive or just trying not to think about stuff like that. I wanted it to be all fairytale love…I didn’t consider the male sex drive thing.

So today. We have been out all day around and about. Lee was a little bit cold towards me first thing, not like he wasn’t speaking to me, just with the affection. I asked him if he was feeling bad and he admitted yes; he was trying to back off so as to make it easier to walk away. He said he had hardly slept the night before from imagining me and him in a ‘plethora of hot positions’ (his words) and he laughed. So I started the discussion, saying that I didn’t want him to feel this way, it is bad enough that we are in a long distant relationship and have to wait months to see each other, let alone that when we do, we can’t sleep together. He was quiet for a while, thinking. We were sitting on our coats at this point, under a tree cos it was snowing a bit. He said that he knew I was a virgin (yaaaaaaaaaaak how childish that sounded) and that I had to be sure I wanted it. He didn’t want to push me into anything. I was the one who wanted to push HIM into it I told him. He laughed but his face was serious. I just kept saying I wanted it. BADLY. He was entwining his fingers round mine as he looked down, contemplating. I felt really alive and strong and confident. I kept saying stuff like he was the sexiest. hottest guy I had ever met and how lucky I was to be in love with my best mate…that I trusted him 200%. I thought I should stop and let him talk a bit and he gave me a scrummy hug and stayed with his arms round me. He asked me what we should do about it.

Well, me being Casey the relentless rebel, suggested that he climb up my tree and get in through the window. TONIGHT. (I was only half joking!) He made a tutting noise and poked me in fun, as that was what got us into trouble before, me climbing down to meet him. We sat in silence for ages and he suddenly he turned to me and said, ‘Ok then, I’ll do it.’

He’s coming round later on and we’re going to have some wine with M&D and watch a DVD. Then our plan is going to be put into place before he leaves at about 11. I feel sick but so fucking excited. If this works….oh my god…..I’m going to sleep with Lee!

I will write tomorrow. If I haven’t died of passion………..has anyone ever done that? Heart attack from sexual pleasure????

ohmygodohmygodohmyfuckinggod!

 

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