It may just happen…….or not.

February 16, 2013

I broke up from college yesterday for half term. Lee did as well. I got home from college early yesterday because quite frankly I couldn’t concentrate on classes and I was highly pissed and irritated by everyone, including Kate who was trying to help me think of ways around the problem. I lay on my bed, my messy, dirty sheets cos I didn’t sleep at all last night and kept pulling things around. I started getting weird heart-burny feelings like anxiety so I called Lee to see if by some incredible miracle, he had been able to think of a plan to come here instead of staying in London for the week.


My sketchbook today

You see, the condition that Lee’s parents managed to get him a room in Halls, is that he has to stay there during half terms and some of the summer holidays to kind of guard the building while the rest of the students leave. His Halls are in a massive Victorian Terrace which has, I think, 12 rooms en suit and 2 huge kitchens and bathrooms. His Dad found it through a friend of his and because this friend owns it and wants to be off on holidays whenever he can, said that Lee wouldn’t have to pay as much per month if he stayed back to keep an eye on the building while he’s not there. Lee’s M&D have had a lot of financial crap over the last 5 years and didn’t know whether they could get Lee through Uni. Anyways, Lee has been trying to get someone else to stay back for half, if not all of the week. The guy agreed that as long as someone did then Lee could come back. I have been waiting on tenterhooks for about two weeks about this crap.

That’s only stage one of the problem. The second stage is that Lee will have to give his M&D a pretty good reason why he is here. Clearly, we are not supposed to be more than friends so why would he opt to come all this way back, spending over £100 quid on train fare (that his Dad will have to give him) when as far as they are concerned, he is happier socialising in London and getting on with his art projects which he has got to continue with despite it being half term?

So yes. Hey fucking ho. Lee told me last night that he might have found a girl who will stay back instead of him. She has got a job in a Gallery and sometimes doesn’t want to go home at half terms anyway. (Then I start to think…how many girls live in his house? Are they all like Annabelle? Tall, strikingly arty and uber-talented?)

So we had a long convo last night and then he called me back at about 3am after sending me  a text saying how much he missed me.


I was like…..yeh me too and told him that I couldn’t fucking sleep. AGAIN. We have been trying to come up with the reason why he would need to come back here. It has to be something to do with his project because his M&D will go for that….they support him 200% and anything he needs for college they rally around and make happen. We came up with a great idea. He is organising and part managing (with frickin Annabelle) a community project with some inner city children in a care home. They are doing a collage/mural about living in a city and the challenges they face but they need a contrasting module so I suggested a sculpture about rural life. He reckons that would be enough to constitute his coming back, even for a few days, to ‘gather research’. (Yeh ok! Pffff. He can research me any day of the week!)

He genuinely has to do some work on the project, but surprisingly Annabelle has said she will take over while he’s gone. That’s a smack in the gob, I thought she would have kicked off and demanded he stayed with her, like she did when she came here at New Year.

I am waiting! I spent all day today doing college work. I want to get as much done as possible in case he does come. At Christmas me, the great procrastinator, left it all til Lee had gone and had one day to do it. And as I should have known, I couldn’t do it cos I couldn’t drag my battered self out of bed I was so distraught.

I have texted him but he hasn’t answered yet. The only time he doesn’t answer immediately is when he’s in a lecture or asleep, OR if something important is cracking off. Let’s hope the latter.


I am physically and emotionally dying to see him again………






oach! My frickin heart…..:(




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: