What’s that I am hearing now??? (Angry!)

December 7, 2012

So today I was sitting outside the art room, on the floor, listening to my music, minding my own biz. As usual.

I look up and see these legs in front of me (some hideous white skinny jeaned ones)  and then through the muffled and blissful sound of my music I hear ‘OY!’

It’s this girl who I don’t know from fanny adam, standing there with her hands on her hips, legs arrogantly splayed,

glaring down at me. I take out my earphones and go ‘What?’ She stares and me and then goes ‘Are you Casey Papadaki?’ so I reply, ‘Yes and why are you standing there like you’ve shit your knickers?’

I thought she was going to kick me but instead this other bimbette comes up behind her and says, ‘Leave it Trace’ and she tries to pull her away by her sleeve. Trace, or whoever she is, breaks loose and bends down to my eye level, daggers flying from her eyes. Then she points in my face and snarles ‘Leave Lee alone.’

I pushed my neck out towards her and just said, calmly to her stupid face, ‘And why would I do that?’

Well she just leant in and glared. I almost thought the wind had changed and she had become stone, like a statue frozen in time. Stupid cow didn’t know what to say. Then she suddenly was whisked away by the other one and they disappeared down the corridor. I was a bit shocked, but to be honest it didn’t bother me too much cos I’ve had worse than that. I was just a bit shaken to hear someone I didn’t know saying Lee’s name to me.

So when I got home I rang Lee’s sister. Lisa is really sweet and I misjudged her BIG style when I met her. She’s not someone I want to hang out with, but I do like her and I think we just mutually agree that we like each other, but not that much. Anyway I asked her if she knew anyone called Trace who might say such a pathetic thing to me, and if so why. I described her and she thought about it for a bit and then suddenly said she knew who it was.

Lee’s ex!

They went out for like, 2 weeks ages back when he was 16 and she was 15. I think it’s hilarious and Lisa does too. Apparently she went and told everyone at that time that Lee and her were getting engaged and even started sporting this fake diamond ring. Silly cow.

But that’s not what made me angry.

Get this shit. Lee told Lisa yesterday that he wants to bring Annabelle at Christmas HERE. What the fucking fuck???? Excuse me but hasn’t he just sent me flowers, roses, saying that he can’t wait to see me at Christmas?!!!!! What, so now he expects me to hang around them like a lost gooseberry for two weeks? Come on! He expects me seriously to make friends with her? He spends every day with her, why would he want to bring her back here as well? It’s supposed to be our time!

Anyway I don’t know what’ s going to transpire now because Lisa heard the shock and anger in my voice after she told me and asked me what was wrong. I kind of told her that I wanted him all to myself. And I kinda made it obvious I was insanely jealous and upset. Now she frickin knows how I feel about him. I think I managed to salvage the situation as I asked her not to mention my reaction to Lee when she spoke to him next. She did say that she didn’t think they were ‘an item’ (I hate that term) because he hadn’t really talked about her in that way to her.

Now this. I felt bold and I then asked her if he had ever spoken about me like that. Do you know what she said?

‘Yes, he used to talk about you all the time, like you were more than a friend, but to be honest he hasn’t talked about you like that since going away.’

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Now what do I do? Stella’s not picking up her damn phone and I need to talk to her. Kate said she’ll call me back in 20 mins. I really hope so. It’s hard to write this down, I keep making typing mistakes cos I’m writing too fast and my brain is on overtime. Fuck’s sake.

I wish I hadn’t spoken to Lisa now. I won’t sleep tonight. I know what Kate’s going to say. Tell him how you feel, why not, stop torturing yourself…I get the distinct impression she’s bored of it all. Maybe it’s best she doesn’t call me back. Jesus. I’m too afraid to call Lee as well, I should have done it 10 minutes ago. I can’t be normal with him any more. I want to scream!

Shit.

I need to stop writing and get my head sorted.

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4 Responses to “What’s that I am hearing now??? (Angry!)”

  1. primalnights Says:

    I love this post because your almost as fucked up as I am, but not quite.

    • casey Says:

      Hi Primalnights. I read some of your blog and it sounds like you are in a mess, more so than me. I am following your blog, and I wish you well

      • primalnights Says:

        Came back to read this again. When I read the following:

        Get this shit. Lee told Lisa yesterday that he wants to bring Annabelle at Christmas HERE. What the fucking fuck???? Excuse me but hasn’t he just sent me flowers, roses, saying that he can’t wait to see me at Christmas?!!!!! What, so now he expects me to hang around them like a lost gooseberry for two weeks? Come on! He expects me seriously to make friends with her? He spends every day with her, why would he want to bring her back here as well? It’s supposed to be our time!

        Sounds like you may have fallen into the frined zone. 😦 Like this. Your my friend so it would be cool for my frined to know my friend Annabelle… OK that does not mean that is whats going on but could be. The woman I am in love with once told me I was her “safe place”. I was like WHAT? After you send a guy pictures of your breasts and above and below the tan lines you still consider that person a “safe place”. OK so thats a mind bender. How safe is a person that wants you. Anyway. Hope its working out. I am doing well by the way. Thanks.

      • casey Says:

        Hi again
        Thats the issue..we are best friends. I dont know if you read the post where i had a convo with his sister? She told me he used to talk about me as more than a friend. He went away to uni in september and we had only known each other properly for about a month. The distance and circumstances make it difficult to know how he feels. As for you…naked photos? Surely that means more than buddies!


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