Something’s wrong

November 11, 2012

I keep calling Lee but his phone’s engaged. I first tried at about 10, which is the time we usually talk, and STILL it’s making that god-awful noise. It’s driving me nuts.

Trying to take my mind off it. Had a great time last night at Kate’s, she’s hilarious and much wiser than her years. I have told her about Lee, but not what happened over the summer. I don’t think I’ll EVER talk about that to anyone else except Lee and even then, there’s so much I can’t tell him. He’d freak and probably run a mile screaming. I know he’s my closest buddy, he’s my soul mate, but THAT particular revelation would seriously damage him. I still can’t believe it happened myself, and have had to dig out those diaries and stuff more than once. I hate them as soon as I see them, but I guess if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here writing this blog today. I just got the shivers. Change the subject,

Yeh, so I did my shopping, got all my art stuff. I don’t really like graphics that much but we have to do like a taster project in all areas of art and design. It’s too…how can I say? TIGHT. I prefer getting messy and not having to ‘colour between the lines’ or whatever. Not expressive enough. But I’m doing a centre spread for a magazine about vegan nail polish which will ease the pain a bit! I’ve done some thumbnails today, just little layout sketches, nothing exciting. . Means I’ve had to do loads of research into vegan nail polish. There’s a particular shade of dark red I LOVE and have ordered it. Yumz.

I had loads of English to do as well. How am I supposed to read a novel in three days? Thomas Hardy as well, not the easiest to grip. I like the plot and the characters and their complexities are fascinating, but HOW can I read it and take it in enough to write 3 essays, do my art project AND my drama thesis? I don’t want to drop any of my subs, especially not art. Holy shit. I need to talk to my tutors.

Why isn’t he calling me back????????

Oh yeh, I got some texts off Phil last night. The prick was drunk texting. ‘Casey I love you, sorry I really messed up.’ was the last one. Last, cos I replied saying ‘YOU’RE messed up, loser.’ Kate can’t tolerate shit from guys. I always take the piss out of her and accuse her of being a lesbian, but she so isn’t. She’s just had to wise up fast cos of some frickin a-holes from hell she has been with. She was going out with a really nice guy apparently, but he moved to New Zealand and she never hears from him now. They agreed to stop calling and Skyping cos it was too painful. I don’t think any other guy right now is going to touch him. Poor thing!


OH! I just tried again. It’s ringing out but NO answer! He knows we always talk at 10 before bed. What the f**k???

If he doesn’t ring back I won’t be able to sleep……….

seeing red


4 Responses to “Something’s wrong”

  1. Vannessa Tkacik Says:

    Your style is very unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this web site.

    • Casey Says:

      Hello and thanks for your comment! I just write as I think, I guess. In day to day life I tend to speak before I think which can get me into trouble so my blog is a way of venting without people I know well, or see every day, getting offended! 🙂

  2. primalnights Says:

    Stunning piece of art. Is it yours? On the post. Who knows why people dont call or call back or why they break a routine when they know the other person is left hanging. I kill myself over this stuff. I think Im different that some men because I never do this to anyone. Some of my buddies have told me the reason she sometimes does not call me back is because I always call her back Immediatly. That I am to available to her somehow and that makes me boring or predictable or needy or WHAT? I dont get it either, but I do know how you feel.

    • Casey Says:

      I am trying to put myself in his shoes as well, Primalnights. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own feelings and needs that I forget he has a life away from me and other friends who need him. This is the Casey who used to be as selfish as you like…no it’s not my work, I wish! I think it’s the girl from ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo’. 🙂

      If you want to know my opinion, it DOESN’T make someone boring when they are there for someone and carry out their promises. I hate that people say ‘Treat them mean, keep them keen.’ What a load of shit. I get sick of that mind playing crap. I know Lee would have serious words with me if I played those games with him.

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