so much to write about

November 6, 2012

What can i say but woooooow!!!!!

So Lee arrived on saturday morning and he sent me a short text saying he wanted to hang out with his mum n dad for an hour before he came to my place. so  found myself doing weird shit that i NEVER normally do like fixing my hair and planning my clothes. am i turning into a freaking GIRL???? Ha! Anyway he turned up and i was like…..woaher! he looks even better than he did when i last saw him IF THAT’S POSSIBLE!!???

I was dead nervous cos I had it in my head that there’d be long silences when neither of us knew what to say. There so wasn’t! It was as if he’d never gone away. We were still talking at 2am when he said he’d have to go cos he was knackered. i didn’t want it to end!

Uni sounds awesome, I’m so jealous. He gets so much freedom to do what he wants, when he wants. Apart from the creative stuff, he has met loads of cool people, as I knew he would. He mentioned a girl called Annabelle who’s on his course but from the way he was talking about her, I don’t think they are an item. Maybe he’s just keeping it from me? I hope not cos I’d be freaking crushed out if I found out he was seeing someone. He said she’s got purple dreads and a nose ring. Arrrgh. i can’t wait to be able to have freedom like that with what I wear and how I have my stupid blond hair. I WISH i knew.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep Saturday. Sunday, he was going to his gran’s so I spent the morning getting some college work done. (Interesting goings on with certain people in like PHIL as well but i’ll have to write about that sometime later on).

By Sunday 6pm I was pacing backwards and forwards cos lee said he’d have to set off at about 7pm. He didn’t have to go in to Uni monday morning so his mum was going to take him back late-ish to avoid the traffic. I couldn’t wait so I set off to his house to see if he was there and he was, but he was talking to someone so I sat and waited in his room. I think it was that Annabelle cos I could hear a girly voice, with a hyena type laugh that made me want to smash his phone! I put on a brave one and just sat there ‘smiling’ every time he looked over at me. 

Eventually he hung up but he didn’t say anything about who it was. Annabelle. It gets me right THERE when I think about it.

We chatted for about an hour and then his mum called up the stairs that it was time they set off so he got his bags packed and there he was, ready to go. I was GUTTED. I wanted to scream DON’T GO but I didn’t want to make an ass of myself after having such a good time. I just said something like, It was awesome to see you again and he started  grinning. Before I knew it HE WAS HUGGING ME. Holy crap! I don’t know how I stopped myself from planting one on his lips…but then when he stood back, he still had his arms round me and he was staring into my eyes for AGES. I was just swooooning…and I really thought he was going to kiss me cos he leaned in, I am sure of it..our noses were almost touching..and he RUBBED his nose on mine. oh MY freakin GOD.

He stepped away and he was blushing…my legs were like jelly ooze..so close yet so far..that was MORE than a friendly moment I am positive. Am I reading too much into it????????

Then he was gone. I tried  to run down the stairs after him when I had come back down to earth, but I almost fell over, typical of me, again..and I made it out to the car where he was loading his stuff. I stood there just gawping and his mum was nattering on so we didnt get to talk again. He just waved madly out the window and mouthed something as the car backed out of the drive. I DONT KNOW WHAT HE SAID!!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Then, last night when we talked on the phone he seemed really shy and I wanted to ask him what he had tried to say but I freaking chickened it, didnt I!!! Something is going on, I feel it. I will find out. My mind is racing and my heart is bombing it as I write this.

Anyway I have to get some college work done now even though I can’t focus. He said he’d call me again tonight so I HOPE I can muster up some balls to ask him. I’m crazy about him, more than ever and he’s so far away. CRAP.

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