I was just reading through Kerrang magazine and found this:
Well, we are all still alive!
I was talking to Lee on Thursday night about the ‘rumours’ surrounding the 21st. We were laughing about the extremes that some people were going to, building bunkers and stuff. I mean, let’s face it, if the world is going to end, who wants to be buried under ground and dig themselves out, only to find black rubble and post apocalyptic (a Greek word according to dad) NOTHINGNESS? Who wants to live in a toxic habitat with no animals or wildlife? No vegetation? I’d rather be dead anyway.
lee said something really cute. He said that if it happens, it happen. The only thing he would have liked was to be WITH ME. (Eeepp!)
I said the same. There was an awkward but warm silence and then he giggled. He then goes ‘I really miss you every day, Case’
After I had recovered from my jelly like state of leg numbness and finished swooning I said. ‘I feel the same.’ My voice was all croaky and wavery. This is not the Casey I once was!
I think it’s my Beginning. My Pagan New Year. I can feel a change in the air.
Check this out:
Some brilliant astronomic events happen at this time of year, that witnessed and recorded by our ancestors. The Sun has now been moving south in the sky perceivably from the Northern Hemisphere since Midsummer and on Dec 21st it will reach its lowest point in the sky. From here the sun will appear stay at the same position, resting in the centre of the Crux constellation (Southern Cross) where during this pause, the sun is said to have died. After 3 days on the morning of Dec 25th. The sun moves one degree North. The darkest days are now over and foretelling of longer days to come. So the Sun dies on the cross, is there for 3 days, then is reborn… doesn’t this sound remarkably familiar?
Why can’t people SEE that the Christian version is NOT THE TRUTH? COME ON PEOPLE OPEN YOUR EYES! Makes me so angreeeeeeeee!
Things are definitely shifting…
It’s like Lee wants to say more to me and I (despite my pathetic croaky voice) am quite bold in saying things back. We had no problem expressing our feelings to each other as friends, but I think we are crossing some kind of invisible line. More potent and more significant. Problem with me is I find it easier to say things in my heart either on the phone or by email/text. I just hope Lee can start the ball rolling. It would be sooooooo frustrating after all this time (half term til now, 2 months) to go from being sent roses and having flirty conversations, to acting as just best buddies when face to face.
Ok, so I must go now and get myself ready. He’ll be here at about 2. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!
I will post when I can but I think the next two weeks are going to be VERY eventful!
Happy New Pagan Year!
PS. NO DISRESPECT MEANT BY THE TITLE
I’m still ill. It really knocked me for 6, I still feel dazed and wobbly and when I sit up I get dizzy. Colds are viruses and Dad said it’s normal. It doesn’t feel normal! I need to be 100% for Saturday when Lee comes home. Oh I can’t wait. Time is going so slooooooooooooooooow…
Guess what? He sent me this picture. I remember taking it when we were walking through the graveyard in late August. I snatched his phone out of his pocket and he chased me for a bit and tried to trip me up, but I ‘persuaded’ him to pose. He knows I can beat the living shit out of him if I want hahaha. He hated it, but look what a GORGEOUS pic came out!
This is the ONLY photo he has let me have so make the most of it!
I certainly am.
He really can’t see how good looking he is. I can.
I have enlarged it and printed it out. It’s now up next to my bed. Casey, you sad sap!
I’ve got to go back to college tomorrow to get my Christmas project stuff and give in some bits and pieces I have finished today. Bloody Kate hasn’t been in touch, charming! I have been calling and calling. No text either. People really piss me off. That’s why I would rather have animals. They don’t let you down.
My hair has faded a bit but I’m going to dye it again tomorrow ready for Saturday. Lee said my hair looked ‘amazing’ by the way.
Oh I can’t wait to see him. I wonder how long I’ve got with him before a) Annabelle turns up and starts flinging her dreadlocks around and b) before my demanding grandparents arrive.
My parents don’t know what to buy me for Christmas and Mum is getting pissed! What?!
I have tried to explain that, like Valentine’s Day and other mass media consumer ‘delights’ it’s all for the sake of multi-million pound profit making companies to slurp even more profit from gullible people. Most people are already in debt and this will probably finish them off for good. Others may have kids who see all the adverts on TV and start demanding things that poor parents can’t afford. Come on! Most of the presents given this Christmas will either be broken or forgotten about by New Year. Bullshit. Plus imagine the resources used up from the environment! Paper,metals, plastics……Jesus.
I didn’t used to be like this, by the way. Only a year ago I was hoarding a PS3, Laptop, and various other gadgets under my bed because I had been bought them and simply couldn’t be arsed to open the boxes. My parents would give me anything I asked for so things had gotten like, I don’t know, valueless?
It was only when I got to know Lee and Lisa that it all came home to me how privileged I was. I don’t want to go into it as I have explained before, it’s weird and creepy, but just to say; THINGS DON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY!
So I have asked for some art materials.